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Published: September 1st 2009
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AC vs Inter Game
Caught this game at Foxboro in July So here is a mood setter for you. It's 2:11am, I'm sweating while sitting in only my boxers wearing my new $9.87 digital watch, drinking a Coors Light(classy), "Dirty Diana" by Michael Jackson is on in the background which in spite of being by myself I still constantly pound my fist in the air to, and my one way flight to Beijing is in t-minus 10 hours.....wait you ask. Isn't that just a normal way I spend my Monday nights? Well commonly the answer is yes, but you missed one crucial point...CHINA! Yes, Anton or some of you commonly have known me under my pseudo(alter-personality childhood name) Tosha is on his way back to Communism . I guess I didn't get enough when I was there last time. But China is sooo tomorrows news - this blog is to inform of past US conquests.
As much as the couch offered its guiding hand and comfortable seating, and the television yelled..."Come here, look at me: Check out 24 hour coverage of Michael Jackson's and Ted Kennedy's deaths. "Ow not interested in news? How about vampires? True Blood is the way to go. You will be now be popular
Grandma
Please note US flag in background with all 18 to 37 year olds at any dinner party. But I said NO couch and TV, I will see America through my own eyes. So I pulled out a globe of the world, spun it(secretly making sure it landed somewhere in America) and selected the greatest city IN THE WORLD....Clevelend, Ohio. This was followed by the second greatest city in the hemisphere....Indianapolis, Indiana and the remaining St Louis, New York, Washington DC were just mere mortals compared to these beautes. Well, this may be bending the truth a little, but regardless the following are little tit-bits from all of these wonderful places.
Cleveland
So my grandma lives here. Thought I'd spend the time and go visit her. Tough city to love having visibly been taken down a peg by the recent recession. I had been here before a few years back and with more boarded up store fronts downtown, this city and its people will take a while to recover. All I can say which is still true is that Russian grandma's or otherwise known as babushkas(all-bight, my own or some other child's) love to feed me on a constant basis. I could not stay a
Grandad In All His Glory
Gramps telling a story about life day without eating at least four times, but it is positive to know that I can always move to Cleveland and subsequently not have to buy groceries for the better part of a year
Indianapolis
Continuing on the family visitation passage, went to visit Grandad. Not only did grandad feed me almost to the point of the man that dies from gluttony in Seven( and yes, I did watch that movie there, and yes, I was eating at the time), but he also cast me off my merry way with a hamper. Yes, a whole hamper of extra "just in case you're feeling a bit nibbly" on the drive food. This obviously included a fish head. Like I have the skills to drive, text on my cell phone, check FB AND eat a fish head while driving.
St Louis
The last time I went to St Louis, Anheuser Busch was still American owned. I felt like I had to see the remains of a city which was once built upon traditional, good(used very loosely) American beer. As I walked into my first bar, to my disgust a man who had all the tell-tale signs of being
American(trucker hat, khaki shorts, sandals, beer gut) was standing there sipping on his Bud Light with Lime like it didn't phase him one bit!! How unpatriotic I thought. Did this man not realize that he was now probably sustaining multiple terrorist organizations from Belgium?! I went up to the bar and ordered a Guiness, I'll give money to the IRA they've been bombing Scotland for years...doesn't even phase us anymore.
Other than going for beer, I also managed to visit my two amazing friends Charlin and Leslie who are dear souls to me and hold a very special, if not the most special place in my heart. Maybe right behind MJ.
New York
New York has many sides. It has the bright lights, lots going on, fast cars, hot women, expensive food side - but with a ying you must have a yang.
Upstate New York has a whhoooollllleeee lot a nuthin'. And I experienced this nothing for a week, and it was amazing. For a week, I drove a truck, a went fishing, I listened to country and felt like I needed a piece of straw in my mouth at all times. The best way to
Fishin'
We ate them too describe this location is the following occurring in a local gas station as Jon and I purchased our daily 12 pack/sandwiches/fishing bait combo
Man walks through the door carrying a bag of corn -
Shop attendant #1 yelling to the back of the store - "CORN'S HERE"
Other shop attendant #2 standing next to #1 - "CORN'S HERE"
Customer who is buying a six pack of beer with one already open at the counter - "CORN'S HERE"
Store Owner stocking - "CORN'S HERE"
Man carrying corn - "CORN'S HERE"
It was at that moment I realized what we had witnessed. Yes folks, this was a major highlight of the day. We left happy and confident that we had experienced Upstate New York to its fullest.
Washington DC
Which brings me to our Nation's Capital. Having been denied an opportunity to go and work in DC due to having duel citizenship, I decided to prove everybody wrong in thinking I am a Russian spy and took a journey without taking any secretive pictures, getting into any trouble with the 'man', or trying to set up a private meeting with our 44th president. Number 3 was
really tough, but I managed to get through it. Knowing a high ranking official within the US government(my friend Carolyn, I will use her false name Lynn from here on out as this site might be bugged) is a must when going to Washington. She got us a visit to the White House and dinner with Cheney, which I quickly declined in fear of getting shot. And as the Health Bill Reform wavered on the Hill, I was in the think of all of it.
The temperature did not fall lower than 90 degrees the whole time I was there, so I feel for all the men and women of our country walking around the city in full uniform. It was a truly unique site to see so many Navy, Marines, Army and others I sadly to say am not even aware of walking amongst all of us regular folk. Many of these people do risk their lives so that we may live freely, and for that I give my utmost respect.
Carolyn took her umptienth tour of the monuments and explained her wide array of knowledge regarding all of them. Even to a point where a tourist
came up to me, asked me to take his photo and then continued to say, "So, this is the White House right?". Which I proceeded to shake my head in the most 'silly tourist' way and with a 'psshhhh, no, this is the US Capitol building" walked away. He gravitated toward me and my obvious sign of great knowledge of America and I continued to regurgitate the information which Carolyn had just hammered into me like a 9th grade history professor.
If two places(I cannot pick one in this case) which are must sees in Washington, it is the Holocaust Museum and Arlington Cemetery. Watching Ted Kennedy get buried three days ago reminded me of the solemn feeling you get when entering the valley of tombstones. A beautiful day meant the cicadas provided the only sounds as Erica and I spent the good sum of three hours touring the unforgettable grounds of some of our most sung about hero's. Most tombstones are small and simple, white, yet put these together in perfect order rows and the elegance shines.
My bag is packed - my anti-diarrhea pills are at the ready. BRING IT ON CHINA!
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