Drive of Hell: holy crap, thank god I made it

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For some reason the Powers That Be assumed it would be easier for me to drive from Chicago to Madison, Wisconsin, than to fly. It was not easier. It was absolutely horrendous, for the following reasons:

1) the car is somewhat larger than I am used to
2) the oncoming traffic is on the opposite side of the road
3) the steering wheel is on the opposite side of the car
4) I have traveled all day: my brain and eyes and body think it’s midnight, and I keep thinking of those driver safety ads that tell you how your reactions turn to slush after X number of hours awake. I can’t remember how many hours X is, but I know I’ve been awake longer.
5) the blinkers are the windscreen wipers
6) the windscreen wipers are the blinkers
7) it is raining torrentially: we’re talking complete white-out for some periods. This is the storm that delayed planes all afternoon. It continues all night.
8) I have no idea where I am. There is no map in the car. My google.map printouts assume I am traveling on the 90.
9) I am not traveling on the 90. I am traveling on the 94, which is different by about 60 degrees but does give me the opportunity to visit Milwaukee.
10) I am, at the same time, both busting to go to the toilet and horribly dehydrated. I am traveling on a motorway that appears to have no exits.
11) I am listening to country music. For about three hours.
12) I am lost. It is dark. It is still raining. I am blinded by the shiny roads and the oncoming traffic and there are no street lights. I have asked for directions at three gas stands, two toll booths, and one family restaurant. I have done two U-turns, paid the same toll three times to two machines and one person, and mounted two curbs.
13) I finally see the hotel lights! One more curb, another U-turn, park the car between the white lines and not across them, and hallelujah! I make it to my giant hotel bed! It is 23 hours since I left home in Geneva. I am extremely happy to be alive.

It was sposed to take 2.5 hours. It took around 4.5 hours. I was so glad to have finally arrived!! Never. Again.

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Photos

Rain
This is, of course, not my image. I was too busy trying to stay in the right part of the road to take pictures. This is, however, how it looked before the sun went down. Minus the street lights.

Comments

[Noo]

I'm glad too!!
A flight next time sounds like a grand plan!!!

[Neets]

WOW!!!
I am soooo glad you're alive. Sounds almost as bad as buses in Bolivia. We are home safe and sound and loving being back in Perth with the dogs and the sunny weather (although it is currently pissing down with rain). Cooked a lovely roast tonight with real vegetables which was bliss. do you have Gmail again? Do you have a home phone number too? What about a mobile? Let me know!!! Lots of love from me and Ben to you and Doug!!! xxx

[Claire]

Hail to you Queen of Crappy Conference Locations!