TWNW #9


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North America » United States » Washington » Vancouver
July 20th 2011
Published: July 20th 2011
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See?See?See?

Art.
OOOOOOOOOMFG I just spent the funnest 80 miles racing a big fast Audi from Olympia to Vancouver, WA.

I thought I was going pretty fast before that shiny grey thing flashed my rearview and streaked past me; for some reason it seemed like a pretty great idea to wick it up a bit and let him pace me. I'd keep up with him no problem in knots of traffic, and he'd walk away from me when it cleared, then I'd find him again in some more traffic. I'm sure there are faster cars out there in the world but as long as I've been riding this bike of mine I've not met one.

It wasn't a race in the normal sense, I guess. He'd slow down to 100 in the clear stretches so I could stay up, and when I'd get a few lengths ahead in a mess of cars I'd do the same. It wasn't a hooligan-ish adventure, either; no outlandish risks were taken, plenty of turn signals were issued, no civilians were cut off or annoyed as far as I could tell.

It was kind of balletic. I have danced with the Persian guy in the super-fast Audi and now, legally speaking, I think we're gay-married per the laws of Monaco.

It's been a while since I've put up any news here, huh? Sorry about that.

Since we last checked in with each other, I've been:

-from Idaho to Seattle. That was a pretty drive especially when the rolling brown farmland of eastern Washington magically transformed into the Alpinish Cascades. I've ridden that stretch before and it's really amazing, how all of a sudden it's all green and lush and curvy and rocky peaks with snow on them. In the Snoqualmie Pass, right there at the top of the Cascades, I got a few drops of rain on my visor but I didn't stop to put on my raingear because I don't know if you knew this about me but I'm special and charmed? And I have magical luck and my awesome vacation would never be messed up by cold-ass rain? So why would I stop and waste three valuable minutes putting on some needless raingear? Anyhoo, within two miles it was a real frog-strangler up there in the mountains and there was no place to pull over or seek any kind
RustRustRust

never sleeps.
of shelter so I had no choice but to ride through all 20 miles of it, the faster the better because it sucked so bad; the still air was 51 degrees and I can't imagine what the wind chill at 75mph was, compounded by evaporation. The rain more or less stopped when I got to metro Seattle; I found a parking lot to collect myself in and I guess the adrenaline had kept the shakes at bay because as soon as the kickstand was down I started shivering like a neon Chihuahua and didn't calm down for an hour or so. That may have been the coldest I've ever been.

-to Kiki and Matt's house! Had a great night laying over at their pad, and Ketil and Heather came over and it was a ton of fun. In the morning we had fancy crepes with stuff in them that you wouldn't think would taste good in a crepe but it did, it did. Seattle is always a special place but it loses points on two counts: it was rainy and cold, which duh it's Seattle but I was kinda hoping I'd get to be there for one of
Glacialicious.Glacialicious.Glacialicious.

Laketacular.
the rare glorious sunshiny days; also, there are very few delicious trashy women there. Everyone's all fancy, and the closest the women come to being acceptably trashy is maybe a few more tattoos than usual and somewhat less makeup than is standard on a fancy girl. It's a nice start, but still. Fancy doesn't wash off, unfortunately.

-to Port Angeles. My Dad and stepmom live there, on the Olympic Peninsula. I stayed over for three nights and had a fantastic time walking around and doing stuff with my Dad and relaxing a little bit. Some highlights: we took my stepmom to the Lake Crescent Lodge for her birthday dinner, which was wonderful because the scenery there is glacialicious, and also we took the dog for a walk down this little trail in Port A. where they've got all sorts of crazy crap hanging from the trees, like mirrors and sculptures and giant yoga balls and dad said they used to have canoes hanging up there too but they removed them when a few of them blew down into peoples' yards. I didn't see the problem - free canoes! - but then again it wasn't my yard they blew
Good advice.Good advice.Good advice.

I know it when I see it.
into.

Now I'm off to San Francisco to see Zana and Mark (I'll be there tomorrow) but first I'm gonna see if there's another rocket-powered Audi I can fall in behind. And: you'll notice the picture of my newly-rusted gas tank - Project RatBike is proceeding on schedule!

More later, when I hole up in the skeeviest motel I can find in Northern California tonight; I've still got plenty to share concerning some research I've been conducting vis-a-vis the elusive Tundra Wookies among Port Angeles' female population.

(SPOILER ALERT - not very elusive at all, unfortunately)

Thank you for reading!

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