The Accidental Twilight Zone

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So ... this is how we came to experience a little known town in the Olympic Peninsula named Forks. You will notice our cameras went missing and the events of the night of the 25th have largely been documented in drawings (as more actual renditions may be too difficult to bear).

The events that transpired are largely Jenny Karankawa's fault and the Lonely Planet guide that her roommate gave to her. You see, the Olympic Peninsula is DESOLATE. There are no towns. Except two. Forks and Port Angeles - stop if you know where this is going because we really didn't see it heading there.

Lonely Planet recommended an excellent, excellent campsite called Mora, only a stone throw away from the Pacific. Sadly, as sometimes happens with last minute travel arrangements, Mora was full for that Sat. So JK of course asked for nearby recommendations with the hope of hitting Mora early the next day to reserve a spot.

Three Rivers sounded like an excellent, excellent campsite as recommended by Mora.

This is how the conversation went:

Three Rivers: Oh, we actually do have something available for you. That's surprising for a Saturday, now isn't it?

JK: Ok

Three Rivers: How many tents?

JK: Two

Three Rivers: Do you have any dogs?

JK: No

Three Rivers: Okay, just remember, no vampires.

JK: ...um...

So the trio left the sunny Columbia River Gorge--Generalissimo looking longingly back at Portland, Texas Red forever snapping his camera out the car window, and JK happily reviewing possible trail hikes for the following day. As written in many a guide book, the Olympic Peninsula of Washington holds one of the most wild and uncultivated landscapes in the country (besides Alaska). It is beautiful, untouched, and shrouded in fog. And whatever you do, don't drive through Aberdeen, WA. You will want to jump off a bridge.

As Beatrice faithfully climbed the Olympic mountains rounding the Pacific coast, the landscape dimmed in tufts of thick gray haze, so dense the road disappeared, and so filmy it was there one second and then gone the next. There is no question the landscape teeters on both a frightening and hopelessly romantic coast. It sent us all into a quite gothic rapture which ended rather abruptly as we pulled into Forks, where the first of many motels signs greeted us with: "Welcome to the Twilight Zone."

To be candid, Generalissimo and Jenny Karankawa may have suspected they would encounter some ... err ... enthusiasm or Twilight fever. Twilight being a series of books beloved by tweens and housewives about a stalkerish, emo vampire and a klutzy (yet lovable?) teenager that want to remain in love forever. And it's set in Forks, Forks, a quiet mountain town which is now overbooked and papered in glossy movie posters. Our favorite billboard had to be on the Olympic Inn, boasting: "Edward Cullen didn't sleep here." Texas Red gave a guffaw, 'like vampires sleep.'

It was at this point that things seemed to go awry, or maybe it was when Texas Red bought that six-pack of Rainier Beer (because according to him it's what men deserve after a long eight hour day of driving: an ice cold beer, never mind dinner). We ... got lost? The GPS system sort of went haywire and all of our maps were a little off ...you know, 'one of the most wild and uncultivated landscapes...' blah, blah, blah. At midnight you don't really care anymore, especially if you still have to pitch a tent, haven't eaten dinner and really need to pee. Long story short, we finally found Three Rivers at midnight and our reserved campsite occupied. For two hours following we debated what to do, which included driving to Seattle because it was the nearest town with available hotel rooms (it was also four hours away, foggy and riddled with elk crossing signs).

Beatrice, that minxy Mazda 5, gave us the answer. Around 2 a.m. we pushed all our gear into the back and somehow slept in the car, on the side of the road next to Three Rivers, and, apparently, on the treaty line between Forks and La Push, the vampires and the ... werewolves, shapeshifters, who knows.

Your quotes for the day:

Texas Red: How can we not find a place to eat in a town named after multiple eating utensils?

Generalissimo: "Did y'all see that tree? It was a man. He was tall. He had a big sword and a crown. What, you don't believe me? Pull over."

Jenny Karankawa: "I've got a bad feeling about this place. We're going die ... or worse ... get a flat tire."

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Photos

Treaty Line
Dude, the funniest part about this sign, yes, there's another funny part about it, is the Pepsi sponsorship on the opposite side.

Texas Red as Bella in the Arms of Edward Cullen
So there was this gas station in La Push (which had our Redwoods Creek $6 wine! JK can sniff it out a mile away). In addition to the "Bella Bulletin Board" the store owners also provided a movie poster sans B's face.

Comments

[Generalissimo]

Twilight or HP
You know what is amusing about this? The banner at the bottom of the page asking which series is hotter--Twilight vs. Harry Potter....haha. Also, in the illustration about the morning after---Jenny's though bubble reads: "We could be in Seatlle by now." And Thomas, those illustrations are a preview of your book--since you wanted to inspect it immediately. It is now finished and not very good, but hopefully entertaining. I should earn brownie points for that, at least.

[Lorien]

Vampires, tweens, and stinky beer
I love the pictures. Kudos to whoever drew them. When y'all get back, let's go find Bon Temps so your vamp/wilderness experiences are complete.

[Texas Red]

Eating Utensils
Funny thing, Generalissimo - I noticed that there was a casting call banner for Twilight on my screen. Maybe I could give that creepy Edward Cullen emo vamp a run for his money. Aside from that, isn't it also funny that my dog is nicknamed "Bella." Hmmm... I won't forget this part of the trip, especially for the Twilight chocolate bars I bought in La Push!