ANDY BY GOD JACKSONOLD HICKORY
Statue showing Andy in his youth. It is located on the Crawford Farm where he was raised.
Andy, By God, Jackson was our fine country’s seventh President. He was a war hero too by virtue of defeating the Creeks at Horseshoe Bend and stealing their land and then by defeating the pesky Redcoats at the Battle of New Orleans. That battle was fought after the Redcoats had already surrendered. The pirate, Jean Lafitte, commanded the artillery for us during that battle. He made every shot count because the Redcoats would have hung him for piracy if they could have. By the time he was President, Old Hickory, as he had come to be fondly known, had a thriving cotton plantation called the Hermitage outside of Nashville. He owned several hundred industrious slaves that he seldom had flogged if they didn’t run off or get lazy. If they did he was fond of the lash.
Andy married a corn-cob- pipe-smoking rural bride named Rachel. She was the apple of his eye, but she had been married previously. At the time they were married her divorce had not yet become final so the marriage was unlawful and Andy was a bigamist. In due course the marriage was annulled and the happy couple had to get married
1812 MONUMANT ON NATCHEZ TRACE
Monument erected along the Natchez Trace in honor of the veterans of the Battle of Nawlins. A few of them died on their way back home, and some are buried nearby in lost graves.
again. Political adversaries used the bigamy issue as a club, and Andy, of course, felt compelled to defend his honor and Rachel’s honor too, through the expedient of dueling. At least one of his adversaries was murdered after that fashion. In his lifetime Andy fought several duels for various reasons and survived them all.
During Thomas Jefferson’s first term as President a fellow named Aaron Burr was his Vice President. Each of them heartily despised the other. On a personal level Jefferson could be quite an arrogant man. Alexander Hamilton was another insufferably arrogant man and Burr finally had to kill him in a duel. Burr came under indictment for murder in both New York and New Jersey as a result of Hamilton’s death. The indictment was eventually dropped in New York because the duel took place in New Jersey and New York had no jurisdiction in it. The duel ended Burr’s political aspirations, but not his ambition. He set about trying to become Emperor of Texas by inciting a war with Spain. It brought him into contact with Andy, By God, Jackson, and at first Andy supported the plans but soured on them as details became known to
ANDY, BY GOD JACKSON'S TOMB
Andy and Rachel are buried in the garden behind the big house.
him. He ratted Burr out to Jefferson, and Jefferson had Burr charged with treason. Burr was arrested down in Mississippi and tried twice on the same set of charges. It was before we had double indemnity protection. It turned out that nothing Burr did was against the law in Mississippi so he won acquittal. As a third set of charges were being drawn up Burr fled to Alabama to approach the plan from Spanish Florida. He was arrested down there again, and taken to Richmond, Virginia to face more charges. By then Andy, By God, Jackson had taken umbrage with Jefferson too and testified on Burr’s behalf. The proceedings were heard by the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and he finally banged down his gavel for acquittal citing a lack of evidence. Burr was guilty as hell, of course, but he still faced the murder indictment in New Jersey and fled to Europe until it blew over.
When Andy was elected to the Presidency Davy Crockett fled to Texas. He and his pals were killed at the Alamo or he might have wound up as the Emperor of Texas himself. Folks in Texas have always been fond of
ANDY, BY GOD, JACKSON'S FARM LAND
Mostly they got rich growing cotton using slave labor.
a colorful bullshitter, and Crockett was every bit of that. So was Sam Houston. All three of them, Jackson, Crockett, and Houston were political hacks from Tennessee and well acquainted one with another. Crockett was opposed to Jackson’s policies going back to Horseshoe Bend. Crockett thought Jackson had gone too far with the needless slaughter of women and children in that battle. After that he opposed everything that Jackson stood for. During his Presidency what Jackson had accomplished was the destruction of the national banking system because it was corrupt, and the removal of Indians to Oklahoma because they were in the way of progress.
Andy, By God, Jackson’s childhood was more amusing than his adulthood was. In some ways it paralleled the childhood of Billy the Kid. Andy and Billy both had roots in County Antrim and both grew up to become formidable gunmen. Neither of them knew their fathers, and both mothers left them orphans at a young age. Andy’s folks came to America in 1765 from Ireland and settled down near the Waxhaws in the Carolinas. Andy was born on March 15, 1767 but his dad was killed in a logging accident while he was clearing
ANDY, BY GOD, JACKSON'S FIRST HOUSE
Andy and Rachel started out the Hermitage in this humble abode. I found a wild turkey feather right here and decided to take the photo from where I found the feather.
land about three weeks earlier. Billy was born at the outbreak of the Civil War; his dad got drafted into army and was heard from nevermore again. Andy spent his childhood on the farm of his uncle, John Crawford. Andy had two older brothers, Hugh and Robert, born in Ireland and all three most likely were spoiled brats. What book learning they got was provided by the head clerk of the gospel mill nearby. When the Revolutionary War fetched loose Hugh signed up with Continental Army, as all good Irish lads did, and got himself killed at the Battle of Stono Ferry on June 20, 1779. Heat prostration got him. Andy and Robert joined the militia but were both captured by the Redcoats in 1780 carrying dispatches. When a redcoat officer insisted that Andy clean his boots, Andy told him to go straight to hell. The officer slashed him with his saber and cut Andy’s face and arm. The process was then repeated with Robert. Both of them were hauled off to a prison camp and both came down with smallpox. Robert died from it, and then their mom went off to care for some other diseased Colonial prisoners and
ANDY, BY GOD, JACKSON'S LAST HOUSE AND BACK YARD
I could not capture a good picture from the front of the house. Bastards would not allow me in the house with my camera bag. They were scared I would bust something with it.
she died too. Andy was 14 years old. Billy the Kid was also orphaned in Silver City, New Mexico at about the age of 14. He never went straight again. Andy became President and has his picture on the twenty dollar bill.
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