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July 17th 2016
Published: July 17th 2016
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So, today was "back-to-Albuquerque" day. At least this time I was busing during the day, so I was only stuck at the bus station for an hour this time - still too long. I people watched... I think I was more sketched out by Denver's than Albuquerque's to be honest... Denver was just rough.

Bus ride was actually fun - not something I thought I'd say. We got on the bus and this guy from Boise noted what a nice bus it was. This guy from St. Louis is like "omg you just jinxed it. It's all your fault now no matter what happens. She's our witness!" I just nodded, yep sure. And thus began the fun first hour of my bus ride. The bus was relatively empty and the 3 of us were in a triangle with a few seats between us, but we chatted most of the way to Colorado Springs. There was also a mom with two young boys who joined in for parts lol.

Of course they all had fun with the fact I'm from Canada. ("Ah! That's why you're so polite and friendly!" / "Ask Canada, she won't lie. It's in her contract.") St.Louis has been to Montreal and loved it though - he was so excited about how chill everyone was and how he got to sit on a Game of Thrones chair made of ice. So Canadian.

The best though was St. Louis joking around with the little boys:
-(boy had a stuffed panther) "Look I have a panther!" "Dude, I don't know how to break it to you, but that's not a real panther." "Is to!" "Dude. Dude... if that were a real panther, you'd be having a reallllll bad day." *kid dies laughing*

-(boy asks if St Louis was on this other bus they took to Denver) "I was! Don't tell anyone but I'm secretly stalking you." *kid laughs* "But you just told me." "Yeah, but it's a secret!" *kid thinks for a moment* "Ok I'll just tell a pigeon." Lol wut??? Then a few minutes later the kid mutters: "too bad not everyone is a pigeon"

-kid asked St. Louis if he knew his (kid's) mom's tickle spots. "How would I know that? Are you on drugs?" *kid dies laughing again*

-"... if you don't I'm going to feed you to a dinosaur, and you know what happens next? You'll be poop. Stinky stinky dinosaur poop." Yeah. We all died laughing at that one.

St. Louis was something alright lol. I also had a good chat with him just about life stuff though. He's in the process of moving to Colorado. His brother died a few weeks ago... lots of fam dram around that. We talked about that for a bit. He had to bus to collect his brother's belongings and ship them back with him... apparently Greyhound employees haven't been overly helpful or friendly in the process. ("I swear at one point I was like I'm going to make the news as a white man rampage... I just wanted my brother's stuff") I always find it interesting how open some people are with complete strangers... it was a good talk. He seems like a good guy. I hope life treats him well.

Sadly once we got to Colorado Springs, St. Louis got off and the bus filled up a bit more, so we were cut off from our other chatter. But, the bus driver made up for it lol. He did his regular blurb to start the ride (where we're going, times, etc.) and then he did a little rant about being nice to one another and not to block the aisles because: "if someone trips over yo' luggage or yo' legs I'm gonna have to call the police on you. And I'm a nice guy, I don't want to have to call no police... who will fine you 20g. That's no fun for anyone."

Rest of the drive was uneventful. Our power outlets weren't working and after resetting the breaker like 5x the driver gave up. "I'm truly sorry, but we are on a ratty-ass bus." I laughed so hard - it caught me off guard. I could never imagine a driver from Ott-Tor saying that. He also went on a tangent about the fact we stopped at this shitty rest point and that he's sorry but the nice ones "don't want Greyhound anywhere near them... scared folks will steal stuff." Seriously?? Ahahaha. Gives you insight into Greyhound clientele in the US. I mean... it's pretty accurate though...

After (what was supposed to be) our last rest stop, the driver did another announcement: "Aight. Next stop is Albuquerque. 4 long, long, LONNNNNNNNG hours. Greyhound thinks I'm a robot. But I'll show them." And true to form, he stopped "for a maintenance check" after 2 hours and let us off for 5 minutes while he clearly checked some sort of problem 😉

Best driver ever. Gotta have fun with your job, right?

So back in Albuquerque the fun continued. Waiting for the bus I had a bunch of people start to chat with me. I honestly don't know what it is about Albuquerque - everyone wants to talk. Every. One.

This random lady gave me a bottle of hand sanitizer because she had three. This guy started asking a bunch of questions about how long it takes to get here from Canada and about travel in general. I was also warned about going to "Snotsdale" because that's where all the "rich assholes" are which I thought was hilarious, even more so because I'm literally going there in 2-3 days.

My favourite though was this old Native lady. My God she was a chatty little thing... and when I say little, she was like half my height lol. First off she suggested I go to the Street Fair down near campus tonight because "that's where all the yuppies go and you'll fit right in" - this of course was followed by grand advice on how to then get back to my hotel. "Call and tell 'em you're drunk!" She gave me a full rundown on how to act drunk (along with an actual act! lol) so that I can get a free ride home. That's... resourceful?

She also told me pretty much her life story lol, all these random tidbits from all over the place - from the time she bussed from NY to LA and smuggled a bunch of booze on the bus, to the fact her dead grandpa apparently owned an original T-Ford or whatever they're called and that's it in some garage right now... clearly waiting for the appraiser to bring it to "Snotsdale" to sell it for 3 million lol. Omg, she was something else.

This city man... it's got some interesting characters!

I finally made it to my hotel. Or at least... what I thought was my hotel lol. They overbooked (sigh) so I got bumped to another one. Normally I don't mind this because they pretty much always bump you to a nicer hotel lol... but the entire reason I'd booked that one is to be in Old Town, Albuquerque... now I'm 2 miles south-west of where I want to be. Not impressed... so now I'm off to reconfigure my plans for tomorrow 😊

(Sidenote: in Denver I had green chile and was like pffft this isn't hot... I just had some here in Albuquerque on my burger and my mouth is pretty much breathing fire. Awesome. Tastes great though!)

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