Winding Down

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Once we returned to Thomas’ house in NJ life slowed down. Andy left on Thursday for NYC so that he could make an early departure Friday morning. Thomas and I were left to our own devices. Without reflecting poorly on Thomas, I can honestly say we are getting old. Thursday didn’t bring any partying or youthful nonsense. We took a ride in the BMW side car to Johnny Mac’s, sat quietly for dinner at Brick Wall in Asbury Park, and returned home early to watch movies and play chess.

Playing chess with a friend is one of the things I miss about my family home. My dad taught me the game when I was a young boy. We would play on lazy Saturday afternoons while watching the old James Bond films. My brother and I may have been 5 and 7 years old, if that. He probably let me win while I was learning the game, but by the time I knew the rules he stopped playing easy. It wasn’t until the 7th grade before I started winning against the old man. I had joined the chess club (no wonder I never had a date in middle school). It didn’t take long before I routinely beat him and his rare wins were hard fought battles over pawns, position, and mistakes in my defense. By the time I graduated high school we had stopped playing. I couldn’t say whether this was because I had become interested in women, thus uninterested in things dorky, or because it simply didn’t matter anymore. I briefly became interested in the sport again while at college. Alas, it isn’t surprising that I didn’t have many dates my freshmen year either. I lost interest again after peaking with a win against a ranked master. Sure, it was best two out of three, and he won the set, but just winning one match is still a point of pride I keep in my back pocket for occasions like this one. As an adult I miss playing the game.

Of all the memories this week, playing chess with Thomas is my favorite. It will certainly be the memory that endures.

Friday we went out with Dickie, Thomas’ roommate. We started at the house with a little pregaming. Then we hit the town for pub crawl. New Jersey seems to have a glut of places to drink on a Friday. In Belmar we started at a place call Connelly Station. Unfortunately one of the elderly bartenders was having their birthday celebration there. The live music was good (very James Taylor-ish in fact), but the scene was filled with people generally over the age of 50 paying their respects to the barkeep. However, there was one point of interest... We happened to stand at the bar behind a plaid shirted, camo hatted, Carhartt panted man surfing Grinder. (I feel pop culture has made jokes out of Grinder to the point where this reference doesn’t require explanation, but if you don’t know what I am talking about, then please don’t look it up on my account. Some may find it offensive.) To say this was out of place is an understatement. Normally I wouldn’t discuss people watching, some find it in poor taste, but this was just too rich of a juxtaposition. When we left the bar I commented to the guys that I thought his life must be very difficult - being in Jersey Shore, wearing plaid and camo, and trying to covertly surf gay personal ads... let’s just say I picture this guy as someone who still hasn’t told his parents he is gay because his dad might kill him. (It would help the covertness of people using this app if the developers didn’t put Grinder in big letters on the top of the screen, just saying.)

The night would become more entertaining in conventional ways soon enough. We hit Kelly’s Pub next. Kelly’s had the stench of being a local’s hang out. Suspicions were confirmed when Dickie, born and raised in the area, was pulled aside by three people before we finished our one beer. Kelly’s only had a modest of women, so we decided to look for better odds. Johnny Mac’s is an Irish pub with a really cool gimmick; they serve free personal pizzas with your first drink (toppings extra). The vibe of this bar is awesome. I highly recommend it for anyone looking for a good time at any time of the day. We had some good fun with the bartender, but excused ourselves to find some real food. Brick Wall was on the menu for dinner. We got the same waitress as we’d had the night before, so the banter and excellent service began quickly. I really liked the Brick Wall and returned there on Sunday to write the AC entry in this blog (thus the drinks and sloppy editing). We were pretty drunk by this point... the ripe hour of 9:00 PM. Unwilling to call it a night, despite encouragement from the waitress, we crossed the street to Baca. Baca is more of a dance club than Johnny Mac’s or Brick Wall. The atmosphere was pretty chill and they were hosting a high school reunion from 1986. Yeah, I said 1986. Weird year to have a reunion in a club; we didn’t see anyone that matched our expectation of what that class school look like. The odds in this bar were substantially better than the others. In fact we scoped out a group of three women, all without rings on the danger-finger. We drew straws to see who would go break the ice. (Well there weren’t actual straws involved, it was more like a challenge... and I wasn’t about to back down in a bar where no one knows my name.) So I introduced myself and six lemon drops later our groups were officially mingled.

Thomas would later lament about how forced the conversations were, and I have to say people in Jersey are about as interesting to talk to as drift wood. Out of my meager sampling it’s my opinion that most of these people never leave the confines of the five or six towns in a three square mile area, regardless of where that three square miles starts and ends. I feel so fortunate to have a wider roaming range.

Train Wreck Tommy and Dickie went home when Baca announced last call. I headed down to Johnny Mac’s to finish off the night. I don’t remember much from there, but I got the phone number of the bartender we were flirting with earlier and a pretty portrait of her on my phone. I think my phone has beer goggles, because when we saw her earlier in the evening I didn’t think she was as cute as the photo made it seem when I woke up. I deleted the evidence before Thomas found my phone. No way I was going to admit to any drunk photos when he is such a sneaky guy about checking camera rolls (see previous entry about him picking me up). The night actually ended when I stumbled out of Johnny’s just in time to grab an over priced cab back to the house.

Saturday was spent recovering and hanging out. Sunday was mellow with Thomas heading into the City for some alone time with Kristen - can’t fault the guy for needing his girlfriend after spending a solid week with me.

And then Monday brought my send-off dinner. Dickie cooked some excellent steaks and made some great Sangria (thanks for the recipe!) Thomas and I went out to a bar to chat about life and shit.

Over the last several months (prior to my lay off) I have really come to appreciate the importance of friendship. Without friends like Thomas, Chef, Chris, the other Chris, and a few others, I think my job and lifestyle would have slowly sucked all creativity and spirit from my bones. I love my family very much, but I fear I have spent their pick-me-ups on past life events. It’s because of strong continuing support from friends that I feel comfortable having no possessions or status to bolster my thirst for accomplishment. (After all, my family would love me even if I was homeless and unaccomplished - I doubt everyone could say that about their friends.) As a single man journeying around Europe to find some answers to the tough life questions, it comes as great comfort to know I have friends that don’t give a damn if I find any answers or come back with anything at all. I’ll always be one of the wealthiest persons in the world with so many 4:00 AM friends. (A term my grandfather uses to describe people that would move mountains at 4:00 AM if you called and needed everything they had to give.)

Too bad my phone won’t work in Europe... I won’t be calling at 4:00 AM. The US Embassy might, but I won’t.

Just kidding; I haven’t used any of those favors in a while.

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Photos

New Trade Towers...
My last day in the City I checked out the 911 memorial. This is one impressive building. Gives you goose bumps to stand under it. Unfortunately the rest of the memorial is under construction as well - it wasn't as moving as I thought it would be.

Comments

[D MJ Binkley]

Really enjoyed the blogged
You will discover many things along your travels. Many expected but a few surprises. Happy travels.