Blog-abration #8: The Conclusion- Coming Home Again


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North America » United States » Montana » Butte
November 23rd 2009
Published: November 26th 2009
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We’ve been back for over a month now, and this will most likely be the fitting final episode of Blog-abration. I’m sure you’ve all seen this one coming, we’re back- our trip finished. I also saved this topic for a few other reasons. First, home is something we’ve carried around with us while we were away, comparing and contrasting the different societies we’ve experienced with our own. We have thought daily of home, yet were glad in the opportunity to not be there. And second, I recently have just published an article on BootsnAll (click here to read it) about some of the sentiments that returning home creates. You learn so much, but having that come to an end is a bit difficult at times, it is how you take the lessons of traveling and apply them to your life which make them valuable. So, check out the article, and meanwhile, I’ll give you a little rundown of things at the moment.

Adjustment.

It’s most definitely been an adjustment. Not for better, or worse, just simply different. We’re coming off such a great experience it would be inevitable to feel a little let down. There is no question, it’s great to be back, to the comforts of home that we’ve missed so much, to begin seeing everyone again, and to play in the mountains with Denali.

We’re not really the kind of people to become let down, there is too much joy in the world for that (no matter where you are), but we know the experiences we’ve come to cherish so much can’t happen here, nearly impossible. We are the kind of people that can realize that the challenges, lessons, and experiences, we will have now that we’re back, are going to be different, but there is incredible value in all that we learn, no matter the form or reason or location.

I think that is the biggest adjustment. I wrote the article that coming home is an integral part of traveling. It's a chance to reflect on your experiences and lessons. You are different, you see things differently, you have a broader view of life… and coming home gives you the chance to exercise that- whether you want to or not, also, whether you’re good at it or not.

Inbetweenness.

For the first week or two, there was a feeling of inbetweenness. We were coming back to a culture and life that should be familiar, yet, it sort of isn’t. Like learning how to walk again. You know in your head you are able to do this, but something is just different about it. I’m sure everyone that has been away, so immersed in another culture and people, feel the same way upon returning; it’s a strange phenomenon. We’re not Korean, but we’re kind of not really American just yet, either.

Perhaps it’s the reality of “seeing things with new eyes.” Which I think is the case. I don’t like to use that phrase very much. Everyone’s heard the corny saying before- I don’t particularly like metaphors and parables. Too vague for me; I need the tangible. What is ‘new eyes’ exactly? What does that feel like? It is just a polite excuse to become selfishly critical of things? I’m sure it’s different for everyone.

I went to Wal-Mart the first week we were home, to get some things to cook. I wanted to take advantage of having a full kitchen again, since our glorified camp stove didn’t cut it in Korea. I was making Swedish Meatballs (and they were awesome, I know you’re curious), and I needed some sausage. Well, that sounds like a routine chore, something I could do in thirty seconds, probably blindfolded. Not anymore.

I stood in front of the sausage cooler for at least fifteen minutes contemplating my choice. That is also being able to read and comprehend the writing on each one, too. No lie. There was a treasure trove of options, I was frozen in wide eyed amazement. Ground tubes, 90/10, 85/15, 70/30, tubes the size of Volkswagens with the same options, then there was the packaged sausages, again same fat content options, breakfast sausage, a whole Jimmy Dean section, Mexican sausage, smoked sausage, sausage links, bratwursts (and don’t get me started on those different kinds, either). I was literally mystified at the jaw dropping immensity of choices- there was an entire wall devoted specifically to sausage.

This is a perfect example of those, ‘new eyes.’ A year ago, I would have waltzed right in, headed directly to the wall o’ meat, grabbed exactly what I needed without any thought. Now I am contemplating the seven different choices of ground sausages, after narrowing it down from what had to have been an entire cattle ranch before me.

I had the same thing happen with a 5 dollar bill- did you know they’re peach colored now? Or this new dollar coin. I got a coffee in the Seattle airport, expected $1.10 back, I was given two coins and waited for my dollar bill. Needless to say, I was in the grips of culture adjustment- but the Starbucks girl was very polite about it.

They printed new money, with out me knowing about it! Complete and utter… “Inbetweenness.”

Sharing

One of the most fun I’ve had since coming back was cooking as Korean a dinner as was possible. Cass’ entire family came over and we put on quite a spread. Dalk Galbi (that was the spicy chicken cabbage stuff) Kimchi Jjigae (that was the spicy soup) rice (I don’t have to tell you what that is I hope) and Bul gogi (is what it said on the package, but I think it was more like won galbi- our best attempt at a ‘grill at your table’- but we couldn’t- obviously).

We passed around the soju, and taught everyone the proper way of drinking- I think Cass’ dad may actually like that stuff, too. Some after dinner coffee (not the coffee sticks, those literally just came in the package we sent like 53 days ago), and then it was off to some singing.

Yes, singing… we were having the most Korean night ever, do you think we’d stop at dinner? Never, we found a bar that had karaoke and we took it over. Although, I must admit, it just didn’t match up. The no rae bong wins that battle. Nevertheless, we ate, we drank, we talked, we taught, and we sang as much Korean as we possibly could, and it was a hoot. I’m sure gonna miss that side of things.

Random Thoughts

So many things you notice that you never really would- and miss that you never thought you would either. I’ve just shared a few of the weird and wacky things. I do think a little random thoughts would be in order, too… here goes.

Carpets. There were very few carpets anywhere we went in Asia. There’s nothing like walking around, barefoot, on a nice carpet.

Korean driving skills. Basically, to summarize, it’s how we wish we’d be able to drive if there weren’t any consequences. Yeah, that’s pretty close.

Logic. There was just some stuff I had to shake my head at. Did you know Kimchi cures cancer? No, really.

Coffee creamer. Heck, even coffee for that matter. We had the luxury of cafes and starbucks there, but the majority of the year was spent drinking the Korean coffee sticks. My friend calls them “the melted donut drink”- and that’s pretty accurate.

Driving. I certainly didn’t mind not having a car for the year, and now that I’m back, I find myself driving 60 down the interstate thinking I’m traveling at the speed of light.

Living a Dream. I’m sure maybe when I have children, or if another unbelievable opportunity comes along and I am able to take it, that feeling will come back. But we both had a sense that we were actually living in a/our dream. It was something people only talk about, not do… and we were doing it.

Starbucks. I know this flies in the face of what I stand for, but I will forever think of our numerous mornings in starbucks of dunkin donuts in somewhereville korea with our friends, just chatting away, and living. The smell will always take me back. Those were some good times.

Noraebongs. I think I just cried a little realizing Montana has no idea what this is.

Decorative pillows. Well, not just the pillows, but things that are pointless- like those pillows. We’ve lived an entire year without silly things like these, and I rather enjoyed it. Plus, if there are pillows on my bed- I’m gonna use them, not put them on the floor next to my as I sleep.

The Korean Public Transportation system. Trains, buses, taxis, all virtually on demand. It was choreographed poetry. I hope the US figures out a decent public transportation system soon, cuz I sure liked it. (Maybe they can talk to the Japanese bullet train people. Don’t tell me an overnight train from NY to LA wouldn’t be popular)

Mexican food. I can’t tell you how many times I was craving a burrito as big as my head and couldn’t find one at all, or even the proper making of one. And don’t get me started on beer. Cass, although I love her, the beer named Cass didn’t cut it.

Montana. I’m not sure if this is where we’ll end up forever, but not being able to do the things I love in a place as beautiful as Montana was tough for me. I need my open spaces, my hours all along on a trail, ski run, or bike, and my mountain tops. And campfires...yeah campfires!

Style. We lose in style points. Everyone that is reading this, sorry. Korea will beat you everytime in a competition, and I miss being surrounded by stylish people- it was a new thing for me, and something I’ll miss, because I know I would get ripped up down and sideways if I tried to bring that kind of funky style back here. It’s a shame.

Comfortable beds. I can’t sleep on that thing anymore. It was like a kitchen counter with sheets. Give me a box spring, memory foam, I don’t care, just make it comfy!

Kpop. Gonna miss the crap out of this stuff. I’m so happy we have a few cd’s and know a few websites, because I’m going to need to wean myself off of this weirdly addictive stuff.

Being egocentric. I’m proud to be an American, there’s nothing wrong with that, but let’s be honest- we don’t poop gold. We may be respected throughout the world, but there are an incredible amount of things that we can learn from others. We are not the best at everything, shouldn’t think we are the best at everything, and we should try to work WITH people to better our own country and the entire world. Cooperation is something leaders do, otherwise Napoleon would still be ruling the world, right?

Wal-Mart section above is cool.

Wal-Mart section above is not cool, too.

Languages. I love listening to them, regardless if I can understand them. I am really happy I know a little Korean. You know my resume says I’m fluent- but don’t tell anyone, ok? Oh, that reminds me…

Understanding. I absolutely loved not being able to understand people. It’s peaceful not being constantly distracted wherever you go by conversations and gossip that you don’t really care to hear.

Being American. I know this isn’t true of everywhere, but when I met Koreans, they were still pretty awed a little that I was American. Kind of cool that people still respect us, or even keep us in a positive light.

Honor and respect. Need I explain this one?

Cooking. I rather enjoy rocking the apron and seeing what happens next. In Korea, we only had a two burner stove and something like a no bake oven. It was saddening, and maddening at the same time.

Awkwardness. Male hand holding, principals feeding me, naked pools with the school staff- not gonna miss that.

Adventure. Everyday we woke up, we literally had no idea what was going to happen. It was an exciting, thrilling feeling. Probably won’t happen in too much anymore.

Safety. I never, ever felt an kind of twinge of worry about my safety (unless you consider that dude in North Korea, which is kind of a big thing, but I’m talking day to day safety). I have already felt 10 times as much fear for my personal safety in the time I’ve been here than all last year. In fact, the dark alleys were something of an interesting side trip than a “grab your wallet, look down, and walk quickly” sort of thing.

Relationships. I was really fond of so so many people I met over there and we are indebted so much to the kindness of many people. But at the same time, no matter how well we got to know each other, there was still some sort of barrier between us, which is unfortunate. It could be communicative, or culture, I don’t know, but I’m excited to get back and learn about people and develop relationships with them- especially children!

Familiarity. There was a split second on the way home from the airport when I looked up at the mountains and realized I was back. I've seen them, I've climbed them, I know the countryside intimately. It was as if I took a deep breath and was relived. I don't know what that meant, it just happened, and maybe I'm not supposed to know what that meant either... regardless, I now know what it means to come home. And it feels good.






Couple side notes- It's thanksgiving weekend this weekend, and I couldn't beging to start thanking everyone I really need to. Just know that I do, we do... and we couldn't mean it more. God's been good, the universe has been great, people have been great far more than we could ever have imagined. Life is meant to be lived, I've always felt that way, but it feels so incredible to take that way of thinking and make it reality and we have all of you to thank. Thank you to everyone that have helped us in this journey from the smallest to the largest thing- we love you. Thanks to our friends here and all over the world- we love you. Thanks to everyone following the blog, my writings, my projects (those are soon to come, also!)- thanks for the support and direction. Everyone- thank you thank you thank you!

Another thing this blog has done is to share a bit of my life with you and the people in around me. i just what to send some good wishes to Mel, a former player of mine, my teacher's assistant in my last year in PBurg, and weightroom junky there also. She in her first year of basketball at Univ. of Western Montana and just came down with an ACL tear. It's been really cool to see her develop as a student-athlete and person over the years. I was so proud to see the article in the Butte newspaper over in Korea that she signed on to play at Western. This will be a tough year for her and her family rehabing and watching from the sidelines with a knee injury- one I will always be too familiar with.


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and the back sideand the back side
and the back side

This is the very same pumpkin that I soon turned into outstanding pumpkin bread... yeah!


28th November 2009

Welcome Home
John and Cass, It's so great to have you back in the states! We've been reading with great interest your blogs from Korea and have learned so much about- that little corner of the world through your descriptive writings. Thanks for including us on the blog-abration and above all 'congratulations on- your engagement! Hope to see your around Christmas-time. May God continues to bless. Damon, Mary and Emily (she has her temps!)

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