Every Day

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Every day is a new study in letting go of control. Every day we must tell ourselves that we’re going to be okay, that everything is happening at the exact right time, that everything always works out in the end. We speak of our pains and disappointments and affronts, and then work to let them go, stripping them of the suffering which attaches to them, the suffering which tells us that they are personal, that they will never end, that they are a punishment for our multitude of crimes, that they are a sign that the Cosmos is an unfriendly place, and that we will never, ever have had a better past. We let go. And find the thing inside that lets us stop and take a breath and smile and reach out and grab the other’s hand. And then we move forward.

Hard to believe it’s only been a week since we left NC.

Saturday was a day of mostly rest. Scoped out Absarokee and Sally’s childhood stomping grounds. Did a drive-by of a property. Bought a frozen whole chicken from an Amish man and cooked it on our campsite grill. The cooking was hard, but the chicken turned out good. We were beat. We read and snoozed and worked on our computers. Eventually it got dark and we crawled into the caRV. The window fan stopped working and we couldn’t fix it and it was hot in the car. The neighbors forgot to turn off the porch light on their trailer. Small annoyances and indignities continued to pile on and we eventually brushed them off. We slept. The night grew cold.

Today we got up and left the park, finding coffee in Columbus and breakfast in Absarokee. We met a realtor at 10 to see a small ranch and home in Bridger right on the Clark Fork of the Yellowstone River. It has much potential, though I was not fond of that valley, which felt old and beat up, and which gets little snow. We then drove through the mountains and through Red Lodge to meet another realtor and scope out an old camp on the beautiful Rosebud Creek in Absarokee. A weird, cool old place with much retro appeal, but a fair amount of work to bring to life. It’ll stay on the list of possibles.

After that, we got more ice and drinks and headed back to the KOA. More computer work. More phone calls. Setting up more showings tomorrow, one in Nye, one in Joliet. Considering popping down to Cody, Wyoming soon. It all depends on which realtors can arrange things with which other realtors and when.

The fan is kaput, so we’ll have to go with open windows. Hopefully the breeze will stay up and keep the mosquitos down. Right now we’re packing up the car so we can pull out at 6:30 for a 90 minute drive to our first appointment. Not sure where we’ll stay tomorrow night.

Every day is a new study in letting go of control.

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