An Open Letter to Grandma Ruth

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Dear Grandma Ruth,

Here we are again. Another year, another letter. It's hard to believe that it has been five years since you left the earth for your new Life. It feels at once momentous--five years--and also like it shouldn't mean anything at all. Why should we observe the anniversary of the date you left our lives? You are still here with us, in our hearts.

I made a huge decision this past December. I decided to move back to the United States from China, permanently. At first it was a really difficult decision to make; I'm not going to lie, Grandma. I had been building a life there. I had friends there. I had a job. But sometimes things change. People change. And we accept it and move on. All those years I spent living in China felt like make-believe, like I was playing house. It never felt real. Not really. It was always an existence in limbo. It's still difficult for foreigners to save for retirement in China, because the social safety net doesn't apply to us yet. Every week there was another goodbye party for a friend who was returning to his or her home country. Despite the excitement of living in a country that was changing literally before my eyes, and despite the wonderful experiences I had there, it was becoming a hard, rather lonely, existence. It was just time to come home. I don't tell you this to complain or even to wish that things had turned out differently. It took some time, but I do believe that everything turned out exactly as it should have. I'm in my right place, and very grateful for that.

Some pretty amazing things have happened since I made that decision to come home. I was back in the U.S. only two weeks before I was invited to attend two job interviews, and only one week later, received the offer from the University of Minnesota. Two weeks after that, I had an apartment, furniture, and my very first full-time job in the United States. The work environment here is markedly different from the world I left in China, but eerily similar, too. I thought I could never replace the hilarious tea breaks and entertaining karaoke nights in Beijing--and I haven't. But I'm discovering the quirky restaurants and beautiful lakes of Minneapolis, which, while different, are another kind of wonderful.

I think I'm a very different person than the one you last saw. But you knew that. You never really left me, or the family. You're still right here with us, always. You're in the kindness of strangers on the streets of this small city in the midwestern United States. You're in the good humor of fellow mass transit riders in the early mornings. You're in the budding blossoms of the trees that are bursting to life in the spring. You're in the beautiful blue skies over Minnesota that stretch on forever and ever.

We never lost you. Not really.

Love always,

Merritt

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Comments

[Mom]

A Touching Tribute
What a lovely message you provided for those of us who knew your grandma as well as those who did not. It was specific to her yet universal in the idea that we all long for and have, in some way, a continued connection with those who have passed on. Your words remind us of how important that connection is and how grateful we are to have it.

[Jo Trouble]

A lovely idea to write to someone special like that each year, even if they're thought of daily. A beautiful tribute, thanks for sharing it with everyone.

[Shelley]

Thank you for your memories
Thank you for sharing your memories in your "Touching Tribute" to your Grandma Ruth. She was a wonderful and well-loved lady. You are a wonderfully wise and self-assured young woman. How lucky you are to have such a strong connection to her. She was so very proud of you... and of all of her grandchildren.

[Ginger]

Merritt- I love this letter to Grandma Ruth. It helps me to see that yes, we never loose those we love. My great aunt Ruby has been keeping in touch lately with spontaneous calls to tell me, "I love you and remember to love your husband!" Thank you and hope to find the RSS feed here to be notified about future posts.