Homeward Bound: Reflections on a Year Abroad and the Travel Bug

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2 months went by a lot quicker than I realized! Sorry for the absence, I know I left you all hanging there. But I'm sure most of you know by now that I am back home in the US (and have been for about 9 weeks). Let me rewind just a tad and get you up to speed....

I spent a rainy week in Amsterdam before catching a flight back to Iceland. What was supposed to be a 5 day stopover in this little country on the Mid-Atlantic Ridge was cut short when Iceland Air forgot to tag my bag in Amsterdam, meaning I arrived in Reykjavik sans luggage. Smartly, I carry all my valuables- wallet, passport, camera, ipod- in my carry-on. Unwisely, I did not also think to pack a change of clothes, my contacts, or a toothbrush. Thankfully my generous couchsurfing host to came my rescue and I still managed to enjoy 2 nights here. In the meantime, the airlines bumped my flight up 3 days and tracked down the missing baggage. In all my travels, this was my first time I've ever lost a bag, so I would say I'm doing pretty well. I stayed positive; clothes are replaceable. And to my luck, my bag arrived in Iceland just in time to board my return flight to Boston with me!

I was greeted back on US soil a few days ahead of schedule by my father. We had a happy celebration full of stories, pictures, and lots of comfort food. The next day I surprised my mother, who had no idea I was coming home, in a very tearful reunion. The following days were filled with phone calls, visits, and endless hugs from friends. But no one was happier about my return than me! Since coming back I have been busy- making time to see everyone near and far, working at my new position as the assistant manager of Red Cherry Frozen Yogurt, finding a car, etc. I will not lie- adapting to life back in the US has been a challenge. Culture shock is very bizarre to experience when you are coming "home". I assumed that I would only stay for a short amount of time, just long enough to save up some money and plan the next adventure. But 2 weeks quickly turned to 2 months, for now, no future travel has been planned.



Coming home has presented even more challenges than I ever imagined. It has been a roller coaster emotionally, physically, romantically, and financially. I have experienced intense highs and crushing lows. I have questioned every human connection and evaluated every relationship in my life. I have struggled to pinpoint my goals/purpose/self-worth. I have lost a sense of belonging in the country I was raised in. Through this whole process I have found more questions than answers; discovered my confusion than solution. But through all the feelings, thoughts, words, and tears, I have found out many things about myself. Some are too personal to blog, but I figured some of them may be worth while to share here, as a way to know me and understand more about the true spirit of travel.

I was told by a close friend that some of my internal conflict is based on the fact that there are really two Kristins. No, not that I have multiple personality disorder, but that I lead two very different, separate realities: travel life and home life. Traveling Kristin lives one day at a time- no plan, no itinerary, simply existing in the moment and taking opportunities as they come (say yes more?). At home Kristin lives with structure- constantly under pressure to remain organized and focused, to the point of bordering on OCD and anxiety. How can two such conflicting lifestyles exist inside one person? And how can I find balance or get them to overlap? This is a challenge I am still working on. Due to the encouragement of some wise friends, I have decided to remain stateside until I can find clarity in this situation. Too many people see travel as an escape; "what are you running away from?" people ask. I don't travel to evade, I travel to seek. Exactly what, I am still unsure. Most likely a place that makes my heart happy. But in order to listen to my heart I must quiet my brain, which means I need to put some serious effort into sorting through my emotions. I need to understand my strengths, weaknesses, insecurities, and convictions. It may be a long process, but it's worth the effort. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

Until further notice, there is no next adventure. Not to say there won't ever be; I am thoroughly convinced there in no antidote for the travel bug. But maybe staying in one place for a bit- letting the waters settle- could be therapeutic. I know that many self-realizations are yet to come, and I hope you will allow me to work through them here. Two years of movement has lead to a large amount of reflection to sort out! Hang tight, it's gonna be a bumpy ride 😊

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Comments

[Virginia]

seeking
I think we all spend our life seeking to understand ourselves, others and our world, better. You just have taken it to a wider playing field. Staying "home" doesn't have to be a pause in the adventure, just a different sort of adventure. I know you will find more roads to travel, both near and far, and I will be with you somehow on every one. I love you! mom

[Maureen Kelly]

Welcome Home!
Hi Kristin, Your blog is so insightful. You obviously gave it a lot of thought. You are a strong, intelligent woman, give yourself time to absorb the experiences and lessons. The only thing constant in life ...is change. We just need to be up for it.

[Home and Away]

Thanks for sharing your reflections...
on your two years of being abroad. I also found returning to the States to be more culture shock than going overseas. There's nothing like having to read the McDonald's menu to decide what to order. I hope on your new job you get a couple weeks vacation per year. Please blog about those, no matter how close to home they are. And drop us a line when you get this thing figured out!