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Published: July 30th 2009
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Just realize where you come from: this is the essence of wisdom. -The Tao Te Ching
Every year, Rotary International Clubs around the world hold conferences to welcome back their young countrymen who have just experienced a year abroad living and studying in various foreign countries. Six years ago, during one such conference held in the US, there was a private meeting held with the students who had just returned from the Asian countries of India, Thailand and Indonesia. In this meeting the students found themselves face to face with a social worker and psychiatrist there to talk to them about culture shock. “We’d like to take you back for a minute to the beginning of your exchange,” the two began. “Please for a moment remember how difficult your first few months in these countries were. How taxing and emotionally draining it was to get used to them. Think of how hard you worked and struggled to go from barely being able to communicate your most basic needs to your host families, to being able to laugh and joke with them like a normal daughter or son in their language. Think of all the mistakes you had to make that
left you completely humiliated, in order for you to understand the things you have come to see, feel and believe today.” Imagining themselves back in Asian during their first days on exchange, the students began to reflect on the unthinkable experiences they had just had, times where they could scarcely believed they would be able to survive the new culture. Finding themselves back in the place that had warped, twisted and defied their previous perceptions of the world in ways they could have never imagine, the students eagerly anticipated what the psychiatrist and social worker where getting at. “Now,” said the psychiatrist, “take all those feelings from the beginning of your exchange, and times them by TEN. That’s about how you’re going to feel in the coming months of your reentry into America. Jaws dropping to the ground, the students could neither believe nor disbelieve the projection. All they could do was continue to wonder what they had gotten themselves into.
One of the students sitting in that room that day, has proven to be a figure of great advice and guidance to me as I make my way out of Asia and into America. Already she has helped
me to reconcile the fact that insight you gain from abroad is not necessarily easy stuff to cope with once you get back. Culture shock is real, one that forces you to think a whole lot more about the experience you just had.
Before I go on any further, would just like to say that I really do not wish to harp on the negative aspects of my reentry experience in regard to things I have observed within American culture…things that can be observed given the right exposure and circumstances whether you’ve been abroad or not. That being said, it goes without saying that a new perspective on material things, human rights and class issues within society is gained from living in a society with one of the highest rates of poverty in the world. So instead of harping on negative observations of either culture, I would like to highlight what my travels in India and South Africa have made me grow to appreciate, followed by a list of things to appreciate about growing up in America.
Things I have renewed appreciation for from spending time in India and South Africa:
1. The step by step process
of cooking a meal using handed down recipes and real ingredients.
2. The resourcefulness within people and the practicality of living . . . using what you have to make do, and being creative with the knowledge and skills around you.
3. Chai breaks (or Tea Time!) to appreciate one another for a short while each and every day.
4. Being spontaneous and handling things as they come to you. Often so much more gets done when you do it this way.
5. Giving time to others and valuing relationships more than anything else
6. Listening to others (and working towards understanding them if you cannot)
7. Having to face your own reality and deal with it. With few crutches come many wise decisions.
8. The importance of self reflection
9. The importance of keeping an open mind
10. The importance of learning from the world around you in order to arrive at a deeper understanding of both it, and yourself.
11. The importance of letting loose and having fun
12. Being thankful for and fully aware of the natural world around us
Things I appreciate about America:
1. Being a free woman in society where I am
able to make my own choices and think for myself. Where I can do things like ride a bike, drive a car and make my own decisions without being questioned because I'm a woman. (which is not to say that stereotypes and discrimination around gender and sexuality does not exist here still).
2. Having the privilege of travel. Yes it is true that the American Passport can get you most places. It is also true that over 70% of Americans do not own one. (The Economist has a subscriber-only article that states 34% of Americans over the age of 18 own passports, but cite no source for this.) With this we have great opportunities to see the world, and with it great responsibility.
3. Infrastructure: roads, clean water and recycling. (Though of course we know it could be much better, much greener)
4. Access to a diversity of culture. How many places on earth can you have authentic food from around the world all in one place? Well probably a lot...so this is one more.
5. The many services and opportunities available for the handicapped, elderly and ignored/under-served. Ok so again good but could be better. Eyes wide open to
social justice....
6. A general populous with considerable resources, and levels of awareness and empowerment to be able to stand up for themselves in the face of injustice (though there is always more work to be done).
Since being back in the states I have made it a habit to do some things I would not normally be able to do during my travels in Asia and Africa. One such activity has been taking daily bike rides around the area where I live. Having taken the same route for the past few days, it was only yesterday that I began to pay closer attention to the finer details of the journey. Though I had already fully appreciated the smooth, wide roads on my first jaunts, it was only on the past ride that I had begun to register the names of the roads and circles. With signs like “Bandana Lane,” “Sweet Bell Court” and “Purple Twilight Drive” proudly displayed at the bottom of every cul-de-sac, my attempt at getting some exercise had, for me, suddenly turned into quite the comedy. This, I assure you has been just one of many observations I have made since being here. The most
observable part of my culture shock has been to take note of the waste, and the intensive use (and reliance upon) technology that seems to exist far more here than in the places I have just come from. Having not laid eyes on a zip-lock bag in at least eight months, I was shocked to find out that most kitchens here tend to have an entire drawer (or even cupboard for that matter) reserved for these items in all different shapes and sizes. Excited to see that the demand for light bulbs has shifted from dear old Edison’s incandecent to the new energy savers, I was confused by the amount of time I had to struggle with the ridiculous amount of that hard plastic casing to get one free for use. My little brother was involved in a minor “scratch accident” with a handicap bus in which it took two police cars to sort it out. And then listening to the radio commentary about the new health care policy….and how the Blue Dog Democrats and White Collar Republicans continue to weigh the cost/benefits of reelection and actually getting something done… when did setting ourselves apart from each other ever solve
anything? Ok so as you can see many things have been running through my mind since I got back and I can only appreciate the fact that I can put it all down somewhere.
So thank you all for listening, once again, and please feel free to contact me anytime. I’m back in America and would love to catch up!
Be well my friends and continue to enjoy life and each other.
All the best for now
PS: the photos I have included in this entry are a compilation of photos from India (mainly), Thailand, and South Africa
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