Gabe's Fantastical Flying Adventure Part 2: Eating With Kids

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September 17th 2018
Published: September 17th 2018
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Most people, after having a near death experience (which is how I classify my flight, even though things went well) would go to Vegas and spend their money on poker and girls. I wasn't in Vegas, however. I was in Albany, NY, a city whose claim to fame is "the city that isn't NYC or Buffalo." Luckily, sitting north of Albany is Adirondack Park, one of the most beautiful places in the United States. The problem was that I had my friend, my sister, my niece, and her kid stuffed into a rental car.

After the flight, I was staring and wanted to eat. Normally, I'd go to Taco Bell and call it a day, but my niece is one of those anti-fast food people. She hates anything that takes less than five minutes to make. After replying that I had seen Supersize Me for the 10th time, I caved in and we started to look for somewhere decent to eat.

I had two criteria: find a place where the kiddo eats for free, and find a place that serves something resembling Spanish food. Should a two-year-old ever pay for food? I don't think so, but what do I know. I'm the idiot that just got off of a plane a week after declaring I would never fly on the internet. My niece, who travels more than I do (because she flies) is a big fan of The Traveling Parent and looked up places where we could eat. We found a Golden Corrals close to the airport, and I proceeded to eat until I had a second near-death experience.

When I go to buffets, I lose all control. I don't believe in eating a little bit and then sitting around to see if you're still hungry. My rule is that if I'm able to walk to the buffet for more food, I haven't had enough. This rule, like my declaration about flying, needs to change. Soon.

There were two things I didn't count on. One: the Adirondack Park is massive. Walking around after eating enough food to placate a bear for the Winter is a terrible idea. Two: eating a lot after flying for the first time is stupid. My stomach revolted. I'm not sure if it was the altitude, the fear, or just Golden Corral, but I thought I was going to die. In a way, a little piece of me did die that day.

The kiddo loved it because they have ice cream. My niece won't go to McDonalds, but getting ice cream at Golden Corral is a brilliant idea, apparently. But I digress. The point of this story is that by the time we finished eating, the Adirondack Park was out of the question. Not only did I have to fly home, but I wasn't going to do the one thing that I actually wanted to. There was one good thing that came out of all this though, My niece's daughter somehow managed to break three plates and a salt shaker. In a way, I feel like she felt my pain and took it out on Golden Corral. I couldn't be more proud.

Part 3! Flying Home! Coming soon. By soon, I mean...15 minutes. Give or take.



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