A bitta kulcha

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Well it can’t be all about snorkeling, turtles and frolicking in the sea. Sooner or later, the fun has to end, and you’ve gotta subject yourself to a little bitta kulcha and some of the ancient stuff. Luckily for the girls, that time had come.

Out of bed and Froggy was on the road towards Diamond Head. We had an early start to avoid the heat, but obviously that didn’t mean we didn’t want reminders of the temperature, gradient of ascent, distance to the end, and general dissatisfaction with the enjoyment of the activity at every available interval along the way. In case there was an element of doubt, it was hot, it was steep, it was far and it was boring. Luckily the views at the top were actually pretty spectacular and it was grudgingly accepted that it had actually been worth it.

Back down, some recovery in the car aircon before we made tracks to Manoa Falls. Thanks for the tip Olly - a beautiful rainforest walk with spectacular towering trees. The climate meant it wasn’t as sunny at Diamond Head but the humidity was higher so we opted to turn back at the halfway point and only partially sweat-baste ourselves.

A beach trip was needed to wash away the stench so we drove to Kailua Beach with high hopes, given its place in the ‘best of’ beach list. Lots of traffic but the parking gods were smiling upon Froggy and we snagged pole position before peeling off the sweaty robes and bounding over the dunes to be greeted with a glorious tropical bay - golden sand, beautiful blue water and the occasional turtle popping its head up to say hi. We enjoyed a few hours of frolicking before the sun and fashions of the locals became too much for our young and innocent eyes.

Back to the apartment for some rest and escape from the sun and heat before we enjoyed some drinks and dinner on the balcony. Friday night fireworks on the beach was the perfect way to end a busy day.

Another early start but before we braved the freeway again - this time our destination was Kualoa Ranch on the north east coast of the island. Famous as the location for filming a huge number of movies, there were lots of activities on offer. We had opted for the UTV tour where we all piled into a souped up golf cart and trusted Geoff not to cover us in liquid cow poo as we careened around the different landscapes and valleys the ranch had to offer.

A few stops along the way to admire the view and have some fun with the movie sets. A lot of dust but pleasingly little poo. A quick lunch stop at the ranch before we were on our way again.

Not warning to overload on culture, we decided on a bit of a driving tour of the north shore. We reached our lunch stop from a few days ago, meaning we’d made it all the way around the island from the other direction, before heading back to the Polynesian Cultural Centre.

I’d read mixed reviews of the place and we weren’t sure whether the ‘enthusiasm’ would be too much for us, but we were pleasantly surprised. There were six ‘islands’ set up, each representing a Polynesian nation - Hawaii, Samoa, Fiji, Tahiti, Tonga and Aotearoa. First stop was Samoa where we enjoyed some weaving, a presentation about their customs and watched some blokes climbing coconut trees. A few more visits to other islands where we did some spear throwing, fishing (entirely unsuccessful) and got some ‘tattoos’. We watched some dancing in Fiji and tasted some poi in Hawaii before we got into the really deep culture with some shave ice on a canoe trip.

A quick whip around the obligatory shops on offer before we replenished our lost energy with the biggest buffet the world has ever seen. Everything was on offer…so Beeb chose pasta and white rice, and Geoff enjoyed every version of meat the Polynesians has ever encountered.

Next stop was the ‘show’ which told the story of a boy’s life traversing the different countries and cultures, explained through dance. The highlight was definitely the fire dancing but we all enjoyed watching the different displays from each country. A long trip back to Honolulu in the dark but we all loved having Froggy’s lid down and enjoying the breeze.

Not too early today but another exhilarating trip on 79 lanes of freeway towards Pearl Harbor. There’s only so much “ugh history” a teenager can take so we chose our stops around the site carefully. The audio tour provided some insights into the attack, its history and significance and the trip out to the the USS Arizona memorial gave a sobering reminder of the immediate impact of the attack.

But you’ve gotta know when to fold em, so we pulled up stumps and enjoyed the last few hours with Froggy at Walmart. Another quick retail stop at the ABC store and we were done with spending…and wondering how we would fit it all in.

Tried our luck with the beach and lagoon again, but concluded we’d been too spoiled earlier in the trip and retreated to the room to try out the strength of the bags. A final dinner out to celebrate our last night. We were just reminiscing about our trip highlights when Beeb got to experience hers - a gecko landed on her arm and crawled onto her face before launching itself onto her cheeseburger - what more could anyone want from a trip to Hawaii?!

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