Like a solar eclipse - the sun didn't shine today

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January 1st 2007
Published: September 30th 2017
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The view outside our cabin. Though we needed to head to the right to get anywhere on board, we seemed to always look left down the corridor ... probably because that's where the Family and the SNG were staying! It was our last day on board ... but sadly, we did not get to see the SNG one last time ... it felt so strange ... so cold .... there would be no sunrise today ...
Geo: 26.9557, -79.4764

Woke up early and ate breakfast. The SNG were nowhere to be seen - it was as if the sun didn't rise on this dreary day ... so we drowned our sorrows in a puddle of runny eggs and bacon fat. The de-barkation was a very busy process - it took forever to get us out of customs. When we finally did, we hopped into a taxi and went to the hotel in South Beach.

It was a little sketchy ... complete with a killer elevator straight out of the "Twilight Zone"!!! The door would quickly close as soon as you set foot in the elevator, like a guillotine! And when it hit you, you had to push back pretty hard to get it to open back up. It probably damaged our luggage more than the airport baggage handlers did. And if another person groped us the way the elevator door did ... they'd probably be arrested!

Dropped off our bags and off to Lincoln Road Mall. Really cool pedestrian promenade lined with stores and cafes. We wandered awhile and then went back to the hotel to check in. Headed to the beach for a stroll. There was so

South Beach is famous for supermodels walking down the street. This was one of the many modeling agencies ... what better place to find more victims ... uh ... I mean ... beautiful Latinas to stalk ... ummm ... I mean ... to talk to ...
much eye candy that it felt like Halloween! And just like if Tam and I were to go out trick or treating on Halloween ... there were no sweets offered to us 😞

As we walked along, Tam and I noticed something strange ... the Chiquita density dropped off at an alarming rate. The Chiquita party quickly became a sausage fest ... but as we walked farther, the Chiquita density increased back to normal levels. All was right in the Universe, once again. After, we realized that we had just walked through the gay section of the beach. There appeared to be a certain radius outside of the epicentre of this area where we could take sanctuary in the beauty of Miami's hottie Chiquitas!

We continued strolling down the beach ... my left ankle was killing me. Guess my torn ligaments from April still aren't 100% (I don't think they'll ever be!!!). Physiotherapists should make you walk on sand to re-hab lower-body injuries - the shifty sand really works the muscles. Plus, patients would never get bored of physio if they did it in South Beach - Miami's eye candy is a welcome distraction! It's a million-dollar idea folks!

Fruit market on the Lincoln Road pedestrian mall. Great place for strolling and people-watching.

We finished up on the beach and walked back up Ocean Drive, where we stopped for lunch. Munching on paella, sipping Coronas, and chilling in the shade in South Beach - there's nothing better! While eating, we saw Nasser and Jana walk by with their friends from Florida. Also saw the B&G Girls (the Bumpin' & Grindin' girls from the cruise ship disco!) walk by. Cute, young lesbians .... yup, it's still cool to see that!

Saw some weird homeless dude riding around on his bike - complete with Barbie dolls attached to the uprights! He came around a few times, but we were never able to get the camera out in time to take a picture. Later on, we saw a real-life version of Barbie - it was plastic surgery gone horribly awry and was actually quite scary! It's unnatural that a human being had such Barbie-esque proportions. Her chest was actually so large that it generated its own massive gravitational field; it was so strong that it even warped space-time around it! Maybe that explains why all the men snapped their heads around as they walked by - it's simple physics! South Beach ... it's gotta be one

Lots of cafes and bars around.
of the best people-watching places in all of North America. But it still doesn't quite match Europe ... or Spain's Chiquita Density!

Did a little walking after, and also some shopping. It was a zoo at some of the stores - as bad as Boxing Day in Canada. Chilled at the hotel after then went for dinner at "Bari". Though it shares a name with a town in Southern Italy, it didn't have an Italian theme. It was also the only place we could find that was NOT fully booked that night. A decent meal even though the tuna carpaccio was poor quality (very tough). Dessert (ice cream) was also a tad disappointing.

Off for a walk - down Espanola Way, down Collins Avenue ... grabbed a quick beer and then down to the beach for the fireworks. A dud! Apparently it was too windy so nothing really happened. So we strolled some more down Ocean Drive, grabbed a slice of pizza, and then called it a night. Not a very wild or exciting New Year's Eve, but still pretty cool. South Beach rocks!!!

Additional photos below
Photos: 27, Displayed: 25



Tam tried some weird photography angles. Or maybe it was because the hottie supermodels walking about distracted him so much that he couldn't shoot straight?

Cool chair but you have to be careful when you have a seat - you don't want to end up with skid marks on your shorts!

This car was taken to South Beach's finest auto-body shop!

Nasty! This guy was washing off his shirt in the public fountain - can you imagine how many types of bacteria are probably in that water? Coincidentally, the SNG appeared mere moments later, sat at the fountain, and washed off their feet after stepping in dog crap. Tam and I marvelled at our good fortune as we dove in for a swim, and had a few sips of water after.

Our hotel - looks kind of cool from the outside but it was a little dumpy. Definitely not a bargain at $200 USD (plus tax) per night. But that's what you get on New Year's Eve in South Beach.

Probably one of the most famous beaches in all of the USA! Not the nicest beach, but there was still plenty of scenery out and about!

Tazmin's sister rents chocolate fountains as a side business - so we had to take a pic!

A lot of restaurants were setting up impromptu sidewalk cafes in preparation for New Year's Eve.

Mmmmmm ... paella ... behind their women, it's the next tastiest Spanish dish!

Caprese salad - not as good as the ones the Italians make, but still decent.

We were still hungry after lunch - luckily, we found this little snack!

Tons of beach v-ball courts were available. There were some pretty good players, too. We never have any luck finding players to sub for our team in Calgary, so we should've tried to recruit some here!

Check out the ratio of guys to girls here - can you say gay bar? Later at night, this was actually the busiest and liveliest place on Ocean Drive.

The Royal Palm - we had hoped to stay at this hotel, but it was sold out before we finally made up our minds. Much pricier at over $300 per night, but a relative bargain because it would have been MUCH nicer.

The bottle of rum - making good progress!

Dinner on Collins Avenue - when we ordered New York steak and lobster, we expected more than little cubes of beef and little chunks of lobster strewn about a salad. But the food was actually pretty good. Kick-ass mashed potatoes.

Espanola Way - a short 3 block stretch that was hopping that night. Sidewalk cafes, people dancing, and latin music. The bass was cranked so high that I was actually resonating - I could feel my body vibrating, from my pant legs to the tips of my hair. Needless to say, it was just a LITTLE bit uncomfortable.

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