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Published: February 23rd 2008
Key West: Duval Beach Cafe & Bar
You must dine and go to the beach here when in Key West. IOkay, so automatically you are thinking I am a dirty pig. Maybe you are appalled at my subject line, maybe intrigued? Maybe both?? Allow me to explain.
So begins day 2 in Key West, FL (a.k.a. paradise). The last time I wrote it was 5am and I was heading back to bed. A short 2 1/2 hours later I was up and ready to start the day. But how was Mel? I had vague memories of a sleep walking Mel climbing into bed around 3:00am with a granola bar in her 1/2 closed mouth. I am a light sleeper - partially for this very reason - so I, in panic mode, told Mel to please sit up and eat her granola bar so I wouldn't have to have a private John Edward session to communicate with her!! I knew what she was doing though. My poor, sweet Melanie was probably still suffering from a sore throat and most likely woke up to pee. She probably stumbled to the loo with her eyes closed and had "that funny taste in her mouth." Her brain sends a message to destroy this taste so she grabs the most edible and healthy snack around
(not even thinking that she has to chew the food she is about to consume). I know this sporadic routine so I am always on alert. Mel just laughed, sat up, still 99% asleep and ate her granola bar. To most this may seem like something mundane and un-blog worthy, but I knew this could only mean one thing in this particular situation - her throat still hurt her and that "funny taste" was that snotmucascrappystuff - ewww.
Anyway, when I woke up at 7:30'ish I found Mel already doing school work. In a tone half rooster and baby chick I squawked, "HOW ARE YOU FEELING?" -- her response -- ::mumble mumble:: Translation = like shit. Sigh, my poor Melanie. At least we would be picking up antibiotics for her today. Mel thinks she has tonsillitis. I think she has a mix of that, strep, a cold and flu. I started my daily routine by running to the bathroom and then going to my faithful companion - my medicine bag. I was/am slightly freaked out that I have been around SO many sick people and am still hanging on. I took my paxil, my Aleve Cold/Sinus and this nose
Key West: Duval Beach Cafe & Bar
Beach in front of Duval Beach Cafe & Bar. swab thingy which I can't remember the name of (and I am too lazy to read the box), but it is supposed to reduce the length of the common cold. I would've put on a bubble suit it I could. I am just so determined to keep this virus at bay, yet I was almost angry I didn't have it. I feel it lurking. I feel it slowly creeping in - but it is toying with me! I feel at any moment the GERM is going to mutate and knock me out. It's like round 98 in the boxing ring and I am tired....the germ WILL win. Or will it? Stay tuned....
Showered, Shaved and Suntan lotioned we headed out to start the day. First stop - CVS for Mel's medicine. As I waited for her I saw a middle aged lesbian couple. One had on...please visualize with me.... long, black, sweat pant type shorts, white socks, white sneakers and long white T-shirt. Her hair was Tom Petty like/gray and she looked weathered. The other, had her black shorts on, a button down/cotton-type, white shirt - TUCKED IN and salt-n-pepper gray hair and looked like she ate 12 1/2
bad lemons. They walked apart from each other. One had her hand in her pocket the other was hoping to make eye contact with someone - anyone - to validate "she still had it" - poor thing. I couldn't help but notice how miserable they looked. They were meandering around the CVS parking lot looking tired and worn and it wasn't even 9:30am! I had to wonder what their home life must be like. Then, I get a call from Mel that she was looking for me (I hadn't seen her come out of CVS) - I turned the corner and I see the most beautiful, sweet, feminine woman standing in front of the store with a WIDE smile on her face as if she hadn't seen me in a month!!!! My heart skipped a beat and I felt - lucky and blessed. I never want to end up like the meandering lesbian couple. Give me passion, zest and intensity forever! My word.
OH, it was also in the CVS parking lot that we saw our first cock of the day! YAAAY! Mr. Cockles was out & about! He was cock-a-doodling all over the place and then, like Carrie
Wilson's weight lose, disappeared!! (woah, that was mean - I said that because I am feeling bloated today). To me the day can't TRULY begin until I hear Mr. Cockles crow.
The day was gorgeous. Abundant sunshine, temps in the 80's and a cool breeze. It was humid but it felt good. We went for breakfast at the Duval Beach Club & Cafe. This amazing restaurant is located on the beach. You can eat, rent a chair and/or umbrella, go in the water and relax under swaying palms. I had my obligatory pancakes and Mel had granola and fruit with homefries. After breakfast we rented chairs (only $5.00 which is a great deal). We asked to be set up under two palm trees that had a nice area of shade. It felt soooooooo good to be lying down, looking up at the blue sky and sun peaking through the palm tree's. Mel got naked, I mean disrobed to her beautiful bikini, and went to check out the water. If I am even "this" close to getting a cold or my period - I remain seated. I love the ocean, don't get me wrong, but I don't NEED to go
Key West: Duval Beach Cafe & Bar
Here comes my beautiful Melanie! in the water. Everything has to line up perfectly for me to put on a bathing suit and swim. A minute or two later I saw Mel walk back. For as gorgeous as the small beach looked, it had too much seaweed for her and (what she thinks) was a topless butch woman. Eww to both.
Nature turned the temp up and started to quickly roast Mel and I. My thermometer popped up at least 1/2 hour before we left but we stayed for roughly 1 1/2 hours. Luckily Mel didn't burn. We both tanned though.
We trudged back to our car which was only a short 1-2 minute walk away and took a drive to the old port marina area where Schooner's Wharf, Conch Republic Seafood Restaurant, Half Shell Raw Bar, Turtle Kraals, and Bo's Fishwagen is located. There are tons of boat charters here and fishing excursions. The area also has a nice, small selection of shops. I think this is the area where Jimmy Buffett's recording studio is located as well. From what I heard, it is in an unmarked, small white building. How cool would it have been to see Jimmy?? 😊 Mel stopped
for a mint-chocolate chip ice-cream cone and I stopped at Conch Republic for a small salad and drink. Mostly I stopped to listen to live music and check out a place I hadn't been before. There are so many cute restaurants/cafes/bars in Key West it could get a bit overwhelming, especially for someone like me who wants to see and do it all! Conch Republic was really nice. It was HUGE! They had a gift shop and a Kenny Chesney look-alike, acoustic singer. It also has great views of the harbor. On the way out I saw the most adorable dog ever, a porter (sp?) terrier! OMG, it was soooooooo cute. I scared the poor gay guy straight when I attacked his dog and said I thought it was so adorable. I really, really did. It was so scruffy! I am not usually one of those people who stop and go gaga over dogs, but this one, wow, there was just something about his face.
At this point Mel & I felt a bit overheated. For Mel to say, "Gee...it sure is warm out!" - it has to be warm. This is a girl who played tennis in 100+
Key West: Historic Seaport
Marina at Historic Seaport degree weather. I didn't want to add sun poisoning to the list of symptoms Mel was experiencing so we walked back to our car in that quick, tinkle-toed manor. Getting into a hot car has to be on the top 10 list of most unpleasant things to do. It's almost like a backdraft effect when you open the door!!! After a few minutes of driving the A/C was ice cold -- we had survived the mid-afternoon sun. The only thing on our minds was going to the bathroom and getting some work done at the hotel.
Just like there is nothing worse than getting into a hot car, there is nothing better than walking into a clean hotel room. Mel and I eagerly walked to our room. Sure it was a crappy, smelly room --- but at least it would be a clean, cold , crappy, smelly room! It felt like Christmas morning as I swiped the card into the door lock -- music from the heavens was playing - ::SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECH::. Our room looked like it had been trashed...or...err...at least made a mess by two lesbians!!! The housekeeper never came! 😞 AHHHHH! Not good! Trying to get our money's
Key West: Historic Seaport
Marina at Historic Seaport worth we had used all our towels to dry the other towels and had a "rock-star" moment as we flung the (germ infested) spread off the bed. Yeah, we're bad asses. And I know we should worry more about the earth and conserve our towels. We are usually good like that. I think it was the odor of the room that made us do such delinquent things. Anyway -- no clean room for us -- but at least they took us clean towels. Note: if staying at the Radisson in Key West you must leave the black "service please" tag inside the key hole when leaving. No one told us about this so we didn't even notice it. Five minutes later the housekeeper was knocking on our door. It went something like this....
Housekeeper (in Spanish accent): Hello?
Me: Yes, hi!
Housekeeper: Housekeeping?
Me: We just got back to the room. Can you come back?
Housekeeper: Hello? I come to clean the room.
Me: Yes, thank you - but we have decided to stay in the room. We don't need service.
Housekeeper (after a long pause) - Hi, hello? Housekeeping.
At this point Mel & I wouldn't have
cared if we were naked and covered in horse poo, we opened the door and Mel said that we wouldn't be needing service but did need towels and toilet paper. For some reason the Spanish lady suddenly understood English and said she'd be back in 10 minutes with like a Bronx accent. I was so confused! I felt like rebelling and using more towels carelessly! Take that Radisson!
After freshening up Mel wanted to go by the Ernest Hemingway house (where all the double-pawed cats are). I had been wanting to do this too, so we were a bit excited. Not "that" excited that we'd pay to enter the grounds but excited that we'd get to see Key West cats! After parking we began to walk toward the Hemingway house. On our way I heard a cock crow - excitement took over me. Next thing I know I see Mel looking up at one of the (beautiful) trees. Low and behold there was Mr. Cockles all snug, sitting pretty in the tree! He blended in with the flowers. I took out my camera and started taking a video of him. He "cocked" his head to the left and right
Key West: Historic Seaport
Mel enjoying a Mint Chocolate Chip Ice-Cream. trying to figure out what the heck I was saying. At one point it looked like he squatted - I had a feeling he may poop on me - so I bid my farewell and left Mr. Cockles in the warm Key West night (que "My Heart Will Go On" song from Titanic).
Mel & I decided to have dinner at Kelly's Caribbean Bar & Grill. This restaurant use to be owned by Kelly McGillis (from Top Gun...yeah, I know, who cares) but I heard it is under new ownership (or soon will be). We dined here last time and had a delicious meal. The layout is very cool. It almost reminds me of an Indiana Jones movie. The restaurant is housed in the old Pam Am Airlines building which I think is very cool. There are lots of old-fashioned, HUGE, metal fans blowing, twinkling white lights, red, green and purple spotlights. Lots of plants, palm trees and an occasional cock or two. Unfortunately dinner wasn't as good as we remembered. It wasn't bad by all means, but just not as WONDERFUL as last time. I ordered chicken covered with crispy plantains and rice. Mel got the chicken egg
Key West: Historic Seaport
Boats for rental at Marina. rolls. The best part of dinner was the bread, but of course. It was sweet bread - rolls. Woah. Yummy. I loved looking around at all the different people enjoying themselves. To the left of us was a German family with their adorable baby. To the right of us were 4 people from Connecticut. They were probably in their mid to late 60's and were very funny and down-to-earth. Everyone seemed to have a smile on their face. So, so nice. It was weird, I have to admit, eating chicken with all the cockles around us!!!
After dinner we walked around Duval Street back toward Mallory Square and went in some shops. There are literally hundreds of shops..and many are VERY cool. You also pass one cute restaurant/bar after another. It is so overwhelming. I wish I had 3 months to just explore EVERY nook and cranny. The truth of the matter is every time I come here I end up doing 75% of the stuff I did last time. I wish I could break away from that, but I can't! We love so many things down here that we just HAVE to do them over and over.
Key West: Historic Seaport
Conch Republic Restaurant We decided to end the night at the world famous Two Friends Restaurant to watch the karaoke that is broadcast live online every night starting at 8:30pm. We got situated right in front of the stage, near the web cam! Before I called the mamas to say hello, I ordered a slice of key lime pie. I didn't really want it - but you HAVE to order something when you are here. Mel just wanted water so I ordered a slice of pie. I was nice and settled into my seat when I saw the waitress walk toward me with the pie. It was the kind I don't like. Mostly key lime, a little whipped cream and thin crust. Jimmy Buffett's is the BEST. Anyway, I took a nibble of the whipped cream and to my surprise it tasted pretty good. I had this huge smile on my face and was doing the whole "ooh and ahh" how "good this tasted" and blah, blah, blah when all of a friggin sudden I see a CUBAN FLY IN MY PIE!!!!!!! Don't ask me how I knew it was Cuban, I just did!!!!! I almost died, but I didn't because someone had
Key West: Historic Seaport
Conch Republic Restaurant. Kenny Chesney look-alike singer. to keep their eye on Mel. So I took a deep breath and never looked at the pie again. I motioned for the waitress to come over and I pointed to the fly on my pie. She gasped in a truly honest, OH SHIT, way and tiptoed away with the pie wording to me that she would bring me a new slice. Before I had a chance to say "no thanks" she was back with an even nicer looking piece, but of course I could barely eat it. Which is good, because remember...I didn't even want it! 😊
The fun started just before 8:30pm. I called the mamas on the phone and told them to go to www.twofriendsrestaurant.com and click on the web cam link. There we were! Waving hello to the mamas in all our geeky fashion. It is so strange how that happens! We are practically in the Bahamas and the mamas are up north and here we are waving hello and talking. After we hung up people started singing and they were actually pretty good. Lots of great oldie songs and country. The best, by far, were the two ladies from Kentucky singing 'Back in Baby's
Arms' by Patsy Cline! Wow, so good! I was going to sing a song to Mel, but I cocked out. If I had more people with us, maybe, but I was too nervous. Maybe next time, plus Mel was way sleepy. If I was going to humiliate myself I would want Mel fully aware! ;-) OH, but wait, I did slightly humiliate myself. I walked out without paying for the pie or soda. As if some big hand slapped my forehead, a few seconds later I was like - OOPS!!! I ran back in and saw the look of horror the waitress's face. She was so happy to see me. People had to witness this on the cam. Hey, at least we spiced things up a bit.
Walking back to the car Mel squeaked out that she was a tad bit hungry. Luckily we were next to the cutest little Crepe stand. A little hole-in-the-wall place, literally! Unfortunately I was still grossed out from the Cuban fly so I sat back and watched Mel eat a banana and strawberry crepe. Yummy!
What a great, long day it had been. We headed back to the room where Mel worked
a bit and I started working on my blog. Before long we fell asleep.
I am finishing this blog this morning around 9:45am. We are going to enjoy every last second of our last full day in Paradise.
Until next time...
Happy Travels!
-Des
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