Oude & Nieuw, oude & nieuw...

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The Dutch welcome the new year in 2009 with this simple phrase which translates into "Old and New." In fact, the phrase is even pronounced in an eerily similar way to our own versions of the words. At this hectic yet calming time, a period wrought with binaries and polar opposites, I find "oude & nieuw" to be slightly more descriptive than our one-sided take: "happy new year." Yes, the reflective end-of-the-year-blog attitude is palpable, and it's just going to be one of those rides, so buckle up...

Of the many ironies of the "holiday season," here are some notable gems. In a time where people pride themselves on coming together and putting aside material things for the sake of brotherhood, you will find the most people clawing to rip x-box's from each other's respective kung-fu grips. In a time when everyone wishes to focus more (than they usually do?) on "what really matters" like family and love, people are most affected by the advertising bombardment that has absolutely nothing to do these values. Yes, in America, we say "happy new year" primarily because every year, we perpetually wish to bury the last year behind us. With our new year's resolutions, we silently confirm that fact that each year we find something lacking. 2009 will be a "good" year only because the respective 2008s were always bad ones. We resolve to fix problems with ourselves which represent a deep-seeded perpetual lack of self-confidence. We are a group of people who hate ourselves, one tiny flaw at a time. We hate the fact that we haven't been exercising enough, almost as much as we love pumpkin pie. We hate that we didn't make the most of our lives, but we love the creature comforts of home. We love coming together as a group, yet we hate awkward moments that result from these exchanges. So, yesterday's glazed ham perpetually becomes the flab-challenge of 2009. Oude & Nieuw...

This tumultuous time is only compounded by the economic "crisis" we perceive. (Is it fair to say "we perceive," or does the media already perceive for us? How do YOU know there's a "crisis" right now?)

Why is it, that we embrace the new year as a time of infinite possibilities? Why is it, that we we can rejoice in swapping the disappointing, concrete realities of 2008 for the up-in-the-airness of 2009? At our core lies a paradox. We are creatures of comfort and stability and also of adventure and uncertainty. We see economic uncertainty not as an adventure, but as disastrous because it destroys our false sense of complacency. In the economy, stability is good, but in our own lives, stability is the enemy, emaciating our lives one wasted day at a time. When the bell tolls for thee, only the instability of your life will standout as times worth living through. You'll laugh at how you survived one crisis after another, while you briefly skim over the years and years of boring repetition. When we are young, we want the stability that comes with age, when we are old, we want the uncertainty of youth. Oude & nieuw...

So with the new, always comes the recognition of the old in some way or another. Whether it's a direct, or subconscious realization is up the individual. Unless you, yourself are new, there is no new year without an old one.

6 months ago, my step-nephew was brought into this world. 6 months ago, one of my best friends also became a first-time mommy. 6 months ago, I became the owner of 2 newborn kittens. 2 days ago, my beloved grandpa passed away. 5 Months ago, my same good friend's mother passed. It's been an action-packed year, to say the least... oude & nieuw, oude & nieuw.

I can't help but realize at this time, how true it is that my very existence is both old and new. I am a relatively new person to this planet, yet my values and strengths come from my predecessors--from my grandpa. I am the version of my grandpa that lives in this time, and yet I am also completely unique. When we are old, what will we give to the new ones? If we are lucky, we can give them the courage and strength to love themselves so that new year's resolutions become a thing of the past. If you are not happy with yourself December 31st, January 1st can't offer you anything different. There is only this moment, only right now, except, of course, when there is not.

In loving memory of my grandpa, Victor Palmer. This blog is from his home.

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