The American Dream...


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Published: February 11th 2010
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Everyone has a star!Everyone has a star!Everyone has a star!

...even if you have to bodge it!
Pacific Islands all the way to our LAX...

The US of A here we come, first stop the home of the rich and famous in Los Angeles and landing in LAX, whoop whoop to the America, burger me!

So we’ve got three days to visit three iconic places, first port of call is the Walk Of Fame, which famous person to walk on first… Then onto Universal Studios, back to the future rides, terminators and dinosaurs! Finally, it’s time for the home of the Walt’s in the land of Disney, awesome! We are staying in North Hollywood so should be able to see the sign, if the smog clears that is…

Day one and we get dropped off in North Hollywood, aka Dodgeville USA! Our hostel, NoHo is like a loony bin with an old granny who lives in the kitchen, a card playing crazy lady in our room and a silent girl who sleeps below us on her laptop all day and, and get this; As soon as the lights go out and everyone is going to sleep she gets up and starts walking into stuff, random, yes! Annoying, also yes! After making sure all our expensive
Wacko Jacko..Wacko Jacko..Wacko Jacko..

..could hardly get to his star through the people and the rip notes/gifts!
stuff is on our person we get out of Dodgeville and onto some public transport, unfortunately for us it was going the wrong way, which we didn’t notice until 20 minutes into the journey and the final stop wasn’t where we wanted to be, doh! Back to where we started and 2 minutes down the road is where we actually wanted to get to! On getting off the train we head up the escalators and find we are on Hollywood Boulevard!

Wellety wellety well, Hollywood is a crazy old place, the stars are in the hundreds of thousands all the way down the streets, not quiet the glitz we were expecting to be sure as it mainly seemed to be full of hobo’s and crazies; although it made for some pretty funny people watching. Standard issue meander around the streets with our fingers on cameras like an orient and were pretty much spent by this point; we find a random little bar and grab a cold brewski and watch the mentalists do their thing. It’s getting dark now and probably not safe to hang around the nutters when the sun goes down, off we trot as were up early
Universal Studios...Universal Studios...Universal Studios...

...way, way before opening time!
for the Universal Studios where I hear they have a Simpson’s ride, woo-hoo!

Universal Studios

We wake up to another gorgeous day in are crazy hostel in NoHo, we are out by 6:30am into the sun, this time on the correct train and at Universal Studios before the doors have even opened, no queues for the tickets and we get sucked into the promise of an “all you can eat pass” so we can stuff our hungry poorper bellies. After a little waiting around and getting pretty excited about getting inside they open the gates in true movie style with a giant clipboard and a lot of over excited American employees.

We had straight for the Simpson’s ride which looked pretty much like Krusty Land and got straight in, no queue’s! The ride was awesome, so good indeed we can back later and did it again! The rest of the day consisted of a hell of a lot of delish food, think in total we must have had about 6 mains and a lot of sides from every food store at Universal! (Got to get your dollar’s worth!)

Mid afternoon roles around and we have done
Kwik-E-Mart!Kwik-E-Mart!Kwik-E-Mart!

..check out el-lardo on my right! No she's not disabled, just fat!
a lot of the major rides; Jurassic Park (Not a ride but a zoo apparently!) where I almost lost the camera as I wanted to get a photo of the T-rex before getting soaked with water. Back Draft were we got to play with fire and get nice and roastie to dry us off, not before the Mummy Returns ride which was a bit like a Nemesis kind of ride, pretty good. We also got an all you can drink cup so also got a hell of a lot of fizzy drinks, so far so good on the Universal frontarge.

The Universal Hollywood Tour passing Wisteria lane (where they were filming Desperate Housewives) that was being used but we didn’t get to see any of the house wives, boo!! We saw war of the world’s airplane crash site, which was pretty cool, minus a tom cruise running scene though! Standard jaws and earthquake experience as well which was good fun. Funny side note; on the tour you have to queue for a bit, well you do if you’re anyone but a large German family that pushed in and then said they couldn’t speak English. Only to start chatting seconds after we started driving in English, pretty funny as they sat there looking confused by the queue system and when asked to get off just looked even more confused until people gave up - mental note, pretend to be German to get onto rides!

We also did one of the Hollywood Special Effects studio tours which Helen enjoyed a lot more than me, mainly because of the guy who presented it been a bit of a poof and screaming out “superstar!” at any given opportunity! Time for some 90’s 3D movie for at Terminator 2 3D which was awesome followed by Shrek 4D and Waterworld were we got burnt from sun been so strong! The Waterworld show is class, much better than the film!

The sun sets and it’s time to head back to crazy town; aka the hostel! It’s been an epic day and we are both spankered and looking forward to a hardcore sleeparge if we make it through the ghetto to our hostel…


Disney Land:

We did indeed make it back through hostel territory and even managed to sleep a little through the weirdo’s movements throughout the night. Up early and off
JP - Trex...JP - Trex...JP - Trex...

...almost lost the camera for this shot!
we trot to downtown LA to get a bus to Disney Land; 2 hours something later and we are nearing Disney Land, nearly… who knew it was 50 odd miles away, that's like Birmingham to Manchester! Madness!

We arrive around 10ish after 2 and half hours or so of travel and are pretty tired, we see the land of Disney and rush to get our tickets, bit of a queue but hey it’s Disney!

We got in a queue for the star wars ride next to Space Mountain and tried to get some shade as the sun was mighty wham. The star wars ride was fun, much like a less good Simpson’s ride… off to Space Mountain and past Buzz Light-year who is swarmed by kids, quiet large American kids, put that cookie dough down you! (Hmm cookie dough…)

After meeting Mickey and getting him told off for trying to get him to sign our dollar note (apparently this is illegal!) and snapping a shot of Mini Mouse after we snuck into her house, avoiding the queue! It was time to relax on the Mark Twain Riverboat just south of Big Thunder Mountain. We need to get
Drowned after JP Ride...Drowned after JP Ride...Drowned after JP Ride...

..awesome ride and awesome weather!
out of the sun, it’s a baking California day and we are feeling it! We venture into Old Orleans for the pirate ride which was awesome, got wet and it was pretty much a game of spot Jack Sparrow!

We decide one more ride before food as we are flaking at this point, Indiana Jones ride via the jungle seemed like the best option and we timed it just right. The queue went from a pretty large queue to a massive queue in minutes, fortunately for us we were on the home streak. The ride, once we got to it was like a runaway mine train but in a WWII jeep which threw you around and went backwards which made Helen feel a bit sick! Was fun though, time for some shade and food!

Standard burger and chips for us Americano’s and some shade, on eating we are interrupted by a kid screaming his head off, obviously been ditched by his parents!
After this it’s time for some more queues for queues and trying to make our way through the hordes of kids, kids and more kids! We decide to risk another huge queue for the Finding Nemo
Jaws...Jaws...Jaws...

...universal tour around all the sets.
ride which had water so we needed cooling off! An hour later and we get to hop into the submarine and it was pretty dam good, not sure I’d like to stand in the sun for an hour again but it was good!

The sun starts to set and I am not feeling to hot right now, I fear I have fallen pray to the dreaded sun strokarge, so short of dieing we decide to get a taxi to the bus station so we can head home. We hung around the bus stop for an hour and no bus arrived, finally a bus arrived and took we were told the buses don’t run this late but can get a train… oh dear… last stop and we get to the train station and can see a train has just left, no drama we think as there will be another one… won’t there....!? In short, no, that was the last one and we are stranded on the wrong side of LA with 50 or 60 miles to go to get back to our hostel! Doh! Out comes the trusty credit card and a hundred or so dollars later in a taxi
Hollywood baby...Hollywood baby...Hollywood baby...

...well, almost!
we arrive in dodge-town aka the hostel and hit the hay! Thoroughly defeated by a pretty hard day both on the bank and us! Time for sleep and an early rise for the greyhound.

Next day it’s time to head out of crazy town and down to San Diego, which if anchorman is correct means a whale’s vagina! We hoof our backpacks back onto our backs and make a sharp exit from the hostel and to public transport with the promise of an comfy bed at Helen’s aunt and uncles in San Diego, they have a pool and I feel the sun will always be shining in California, can not wait…

La to San Diego

As usual we are up crazily early and with our backpacks lugged onto our backs we depart crazy town and make our way through the ghetto just one last time. We public transport our way to the greyhound bus station with plenty of time to spare after hearing some nightmare stories from James & Kim and a lot of other travellers. On getting into the bus station it looks like some people have been there all their lives, curled up all over
Waterworld...Waterworld...Waterworld...

...better than the film!
the place waiting for that bus that just never came... Anywho, after a lot of boredom and a few crazies we get our bags on the coach and are on our way, bye bye LA! We both fall asleep when we get to Disney Land, about the halfway point and then wake up in sunny and clean San Diego.

San Diego arrival was all nice and easy as we have our trusty "Helen Helen" to guide us with her photographic memory, handy! Been guided by Helen on a few trams we got the right one and are off to the San Diego Chargers tram stop which is the San Diego's Football team. On route we meet a random, lets make that very random girl who started talking to us, usual stuff - "wow you're english!" and then asking if we knew the queen..? Followed by the observation that there little river wasn't quiet as big as the river tame? I think she meant Thames! Got to love the yanks! Ha-ha!




Ok, we arrive at the trolley stop for qualcomm stadium and hail a taxi man. Little did we know but the guy had no, I
Helen & Marge..Helen & Marge..Helen & Marge..

...lady et lady!
repeat no idea where the hell he was going! Must have passed the road about 5 times before Helen lost it and told the guy to stop and that we aren't paying, low and behold, like a bolt of lightening he then knew exactly where to find our previous mystery address..! In the words of Helen, what a douche!



Arrival at Gillian & Bills.


Additional photos below
Photos: 19, Displayed: 19


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Homer & Me..Homer & Me..
Homer & Me..

...thief!!
Main Street...Main Street...
Main Street...

...Disney High Street
Space Mountain..Space Mountain..
Space Mountain..

..check out the front row!
ToonTown...ToonTown...
ToonTown...

...Helen and her toon car!
Mickey...Mickey...
Mickey...

...wouldn't sign our dollar note!
Arghhh!!Arghhh!!
Arghhh!!

..jack sparrow you say, no, just me!
Buzzlight year ride..Buzzlight year ride..
Buzzlight year ride..

...on the rails shooter!
Disney Castle..Disney Castle..
Disney Castle..

...was pretty wee compared to the one in eurodisney!


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