Regret and Random Thoughts

Published: December 28th 2015
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Two years of blog neglect. I’ll blame work and school. And really poor follow thru on my part. And some fear. We went to Japan last April with our niece, who is far sharper and more observant than anyone I know. Yes, anyone. So there is intimidation on trying to capture that vacation. I will do that another time. The hotel in Hiroshima with the see-thru bathroom and the extremely late night Ramen Museum tour ‘I’m good to go’ really need to be shared. Soon.

I have notes in my Blackberry (yes, I still have a Blackberry, like all good Canadians) that remind me of the things I was going to write about. At this point they are starting to look like the rantings of a lunatic! When we travel, I make little notes to trigger my memory. It isn’t working. Here is a sample:

Sweat pant dinnerPicnic make out (and it sure wasn’t me)Hey army guy, how do you sleep?<li style="color:� font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">I’m grasping at my heart, while you pull up Plenty of Fish on your phone (this might be a hiking reference, but really, never my intention…)Loud bike. Sask is complainingBitch get earning (I remember this but it is too much)Roller Derby Cake Hole (I’m afraid this may have been Ed’s idea for a Roller Derby name for me. You know, if I could skate. And if Roller Derby took old women who don’t want to damage their teeth.)

There are a few others that I do remember. We were down in PS, last Christmas, we were at the hot tub of the big pool. Everyone is just relaxing and enjoying not being in the snow. There is a guy, about 65, talking on his cell phone in the hot tub. Very loudly. It is like men of a certain age love to talk loudly on their cell phones, like they are both super important and ahead of the technology curve. Not realizing that no one talks on a phone anymore. So we head over to the hot tub with the loud talker. Ed makes a rude comment, and I say ‘don’t be a cranky old man’ and he says, looking right at the guy, ‘I’m not. There’s a new sheriff in town!’ Needless to say I have to move Ed away from the hot tub to the pool. There are two older couples in the big pool, talking about how they love to go to concerts, basically telling everyone how hip they are. The one guy says, ‘the best concert I ever say was Elton Joel’.

The pool this trip has been uneventful, which is too bad since most of my best material comes from there! Well, and Ed. Guess it is too cold for non-Canadians. A few nights ago we were going to the pool and Ed comes into the living room, all ready to go. I am now laughing uncontrollably. He says ‘what, is my shirt on backwards’. He has his bathing suit on inside out. So there is a full bathing suit liner staring at me, gripping the legs of the suit. I’m actually still laughing about that.

Over the course of the vacay, I have been keeping a list of phrases that I would like to see banned. I’m not sure who to go to about this, but clearly there is a need for restricting all this ‘free speech’. I’d like to start a petition to stop the following from ever being said:

It is what it is (this is the one single most moronic phrase – what is it?)Party in my mouth (just gross) & To die for (really, to die for? I don’t think so)What happens in ___, stays in ___ (just so overdone, especially by people who really aren’t doing anything that needs to stay anywhere – an extra pina colada isn’t news or a party)Brother (unless he actually is your brother)Buddy (this isn’t cool. You either know the guy’s name or you don’t)<li style="color:� font-family: 'Calibri','sans-serif'; font-size: 11pt; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;">Any use of ‘journey’ or ‘soul mate’. It isn’t a journey. It is your life. That’s it. Nothing special, you haven’t overcome or conquered. Just your life, relatively uninteresting life. Yeah, I know, same as mine. Just your life. I’d like to do some research on soul mate. I think I could predict divorce rates. I’m quite glad my soul doesn’t have a mate. That would be one ugly pairing.Happy wife, happy life. Grow up.Bam. Boom. What is this??? You are making sound effects for your thoughts, to let the rest of us know that they are super deep or enlightened? Did Emeril Lagasse start this nightmare?And one for Ed: Drop the Mike. Haha. Like you are a superstar. Boom.

So yes, I have been making list of random pet peeves and thoughts instead of doing something productive. That is sort of what vacay is for. Last day today before we head north. End of vacay is always so depressing. My usual strategy is to book the next one so there is a reason to get out of bed and go to work.

Ed has been very stingy on the hikes this trip. He thinks I am trying to kill him. I have a history of poor navigation and very long, hot, dehydrated hikes in a desert. So this year he says nothing over 2 hours. Fine. A friend he made at J Crew suggests we go to Borrego Springs. We plan a day of it. I say, at least 5 times, if you want to go golfing there, let me know so I can book a massage. Over and over again I say this. I’m glad to hike on my own and meet up later. Did you want to golf or hike? I’m ok on my own. I found a spa for a massage. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Finally he tells me he is just going to go with it, and brings his clubs and hiking stuff. (here is the travel stuff) Borrego Springs is a very small place with a great State Park, super well marked trails that aren’t difficult and that absolutely no one could get lost on. Not even me. There are rocks, some oasis, good views and just generally nice hiking stuff. The ranger station is very helpful and gives us maps and suggestions. (that’s the end of travel suggestions). So off we go on the hike, all uneventful. You can see how nice it is in my pics. We then decide to go for lunch. I research where to go for lunch and have a suggestion. Ed drives by a place that he says ‘looks like his kind of place’, so we go there instead. It is basically a bar from the 70s. A few regulars drinking at the bar. It is about 2pm on a Tuesday. We have a giant pleather booth. Two very drunk couples come in and sit beside us. This pretty much makes my day. ‘I’ve got my teeth in, so I can order whatever kind of sandwich I want’. The one guy tells a story about a party in Hawaii that makes no sense and everyone laughs and they order another round. I enjoy this place! Then we go to see the golf course. As we pull in, I can see on Ed’s face that he is regretting his decision. We pull up to the huge Ram Hill gates and then the club house. The place is incredible. In the middle of nowhere, the greenest golf course you have ever seen! Everything is perfect, the water features, the greens, the chairs and fire pit on the club house patio. Everything. I take a few pics. Ed is just standing there, looking out over the 18th hole. He says, I think I made the wrong choice.


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