Grand Canyon - awsome views but terrible jokes!!

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The South Rim trail of the Grand Canyon is about 30 miles from Hermits Rest to Desert View. An area close to the rim is known as the Village and is spread over a mile or so. It is this part of the trail hugging the rim of the Canyon that is the bit that seems to be the most popular.

We drove to and parked at a lodge called Maswik and from there it was only a short walk to the rim of the Canyon. No photos can do justice to the view that greeted us. The size is so vast, looking across the canyon could easily have been a painted backdrop to some mega blockbusting movie. Although the Canyon is only one mile across, it is a five hour drive around to the north rim, unless you are one of the many condors that can be spotted above on the lookout for any small rodent that may get a little careless!! Squirrels and small furry things that look like baby squirrels scamper about obviously not seeing the human as a direct threat. Yet none of these defenceless animals have ever thought to look up!!!

Free shuttle buses ride a circular route through the parkland. There are two routes. The blue route travels between all the lodges in the park whilst the red route drives along the rim from the edge of the Village to Hermits Rest. We arrived at the bus stop where the blue line finishes and the red line starts.

A Park Ranger appeared with a dozen or so tourists. He stopped by the bus shelter, begged everyone to be seated and started explaining the geology of the Canyon. He reminded me of Professor Brian Cox: He made the subject sound interesting without me actually having a clue what he was talking about!! At one point he compared layers of rock to pancakes, the one on the bottom of the pile is the oldest.

One thing I (sort of) understood in his explanation as to how the Canyon was formed is that it all began about 1,200 million years ago (round about tea time!!) 13,000 feet of sediment and lava were deposited in coastal and shallow marine environments. When mountains were formed about 725 million years ago a plateau 5,000 to 13,000 feet above sea level was created that lifted and tilted these rocks. The plateau's arid climate and the carving power of wind and water have over time produced many striking erosional forms, culminating in the Grand Canyon. He went on to add that the initial layer of earth's rock is known as the crust. This is, in geological terms, a very thin layer. Think of an apple and the earth's crust is the skin. Despite this, man has never been successful in drilling through the earth's crust, although many have tried. That said, the canyon's mile-high walls display a largely undisturbed cross section of the earth's crust extending back some 2 billion years. Now that's interesting!!!

Although the Canyon is only (ha!, only?) one mile deep it is a nineteen mile round trip and takes two days to hike. You'd need to take enough provisions with you as I doubt there would be a Tesco en route (although if McDonald's had their own way..!!!)

Our walk took us past the Bright Angel Lodge. This was my refuge last time I was here in 1980. Nothing's changed. There is still a giant Navajo carving of an eagle above the fireplace!

Looking down in to the Canyon, the Colorado River is well hidden by multiple ledges and crevices that run throughout the length of the canyon. In many places along the South Rim trail there is only a small wall, perhaps twelve inches high separating us from the oblivion! It is not therefore recommended to stroll around the rim path after dark on ten pints of lager!!!

The colours and lighting makes the canyon vista a painter's paradise. There were several artists spread out along the rim all adding their own interpretation of what lay before them on to blank canvas. One lady was managing to paint while she was on the phone. Now that's multi-tasking!! Although I was going to tap her on the shoulder and tell her not to give up her day job but on reflection, this might be her day job!!!

Part of the trail we were on now is called the Trail of Time. Every few metres is interspersed with a slab of rock that has been cut from somewhere in the Canyon. The plinth they are on gives the name and age of the rock. Some of the names sounded made up such as Tapiats sandstone, Supai formation and Vishnu schist. The oldest slab we could find dated from 1,850 million years ago.

We were stopped by an elderly man who was sat on one of the many benches that are spread along the Rim Trail. He asked us the way to the Shrine of the Ages. I referred to my pocket map but before I could answer him, he had asked another young couple who spoke very little English.

'Is it this way?' the elderly man asked pointing in completely the wrong direction.

The foreign couple looking like they really hadn't understood but obviously recognising a question just answered, politely, ‘Yes!'

I didn't bother putting him right. The walk would do him good!!

He then turned to us and said, out of the blue, ‘From the UK, eh? Do you want to hear an American joke?'

‘Go on then.' We said

He started, ‘A duck walks in to a pharmacy. Do you know what a pharmacy is? He asked us.

We both nodded

‘The duck asks for a chap stick. Do you know what a chap stick is?

‘Yes!!' we replied impatiently

‘The pharmacist replied to the duck, ‘Yes we do'. The duck said, ‘I'll take one and put it on my bill!!'

Laughing politely I said, ‘Hehe, the old ones are the best!!' although, truth be told, we both knew this was not the case with this particular example of wit!!

‘Have a good one!!' he said still chuckling to himself as we were already walking away.

Ten yards further on and we picked up the woodland trail that moved away from the rim passing the Canyon amphitheatre and the Shrine of Ages back to the Yavapai Lodge located at Market Plaza.

Whilst Roisin was browsing the gift shop, I popped over to the general store to purchase a few postage stamps. The store was set out similar to a super market with a line of check-out tills. Stamps could be bought at any of these tills. A straight forward request, I thought, as I said:

"Two global stamps, please"

“Excuse me?” the assistant replied.

“Stamps. I would like stamps.“ I repeated..

The assistant then shouted to her colleague who was standing by a display of logs. “Do those things scan?” she asked, referring to the logs.

Talk about short attention span. Nevertheless. I waited there patiently. No idea why the assistant had seemingly ignored my request.

“Yes!” her colleague replied.

The assistant beckoned one to be passed to her, she scanned the item then said to me “That will be $33.65!!”

“What!” I exclaimed. “What's this all about? I asked for stamps, you know for letters”

“Oh, you mean Sterrrrrmps. I though you said stumps!!! Sorry it's your Australian accent!!!!”

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!!

Postcards written it was time to find a post box. The friendly lady at the reception pointed across the cark park back in the direction of the general store. I deposited the postcards in the only thing that resembled such a repository. As there was no sign to indicate having found my mark, I had to think back to episodes of Sesame Street when the mailman made an appearance to recall the shape, size and colour of US mail boxes. So, the postcards are now either safely on their way to the UK or I had just put to postcards in a blue recycling bin!!!

We couldn't come all the way to the Grand Canyon without watching the sun go down over this magical setting. We thought that it could be something special and we were not disappointed. To quote the tagline from Casper – Seeing is believing!! As the sun disappeared over the horizon, the shadows cast on the Canyon and the changing colours of the rock were simply stunning. Don't take these photos for granted. Go and see for yourself (tell them Chris & Roisin sent you to get 7 ½% discount in the gift shop!!! )

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