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Published: January 26th 2016
"The quieter you become, the more you can hear". Ssshh...what is that sound? I can barely identify it because I don't hear it very often. It's the sound of silence...Ahhhhh. The sigh heard around the world.
Most of you can relate to waking up on vacation on the first day, in a new place & having no darn idea where the heck you are! (And I'm not referring to the dance with a bottle of Tequila the night before when you were young & foolish & waking up in a ditch...) I'm talking that first morning on holidays when you wake up in unfamiliar surroundings and have to give your head a shake and adjust your eyes to realize,
oh we're in Mexico! When I woke yesterday morning it was to the very distinctive sound of the waves whooshing as they hit the limestone shore. 'Tis nothing better in the world than that. While the lad who brought me to the dance was still sleeping peacefully. Hard to believe just mere days ago I'd wake to the sound of tires crunching on snow. The sound of waves whooshing is a much more desirable sound.
So far
this place is pretty well Xanadu for us; an idyllic magnificent beautiful place. If I was any more relaxed I'd be that flexible character Gumby. Gumby holding a margarita! Sunday was around 25, and yesterday 25 with a briza (breeze in Spanish). Today when I got up it was a bit overcast with a solid breeze and the night looks like it will be cool but hey, it isn't Canada-type weather so hallelujah.
We enjoyed having a coffee on the patio, watching the waves dance over the rocks. It's just so serene, with nature speaking through the palm trees, in the breeze, in the ocean, and in the melodic sounds from the birds. We have an iguana that likes to lie on the big rock on our property. He lies there like he's on watch or on guard. Never moving, face up towards the sun. He's almost camouflaged against the rock. He's got this big bulge under his neck - I think it's called a dewlap. It makes him look like he has a serious case of the mumps! Yet as I saunter by I can tell he senses me there. I think he nodded for a margarita but
I can't be sure.
We've hardly seen anybody here at our condo complex. I've seen a few people sitting on their terrace but all is quiet. Yesterday I had the pool to myself - a big beautiful pool and just me. Same as when we go down by the ocean to sit on a lounger, we have the whole spot to ourselves. Perhaps it's something we said? Good, glad we have it to ourselves! We enjoyed trying out the natural salt water whirlpool; what a cool feeling sitting there while the ocean waves overflow into the pool. (See pics below).
We are on our own clock - nowhere to be, no schedule to keep to, eat or drink when we want, tour when we want, and sleep when we want. All you parents need to pack your bags & join us. Lord knows we might not come home. (Just joking girls 😊 I do get homesick so easily for you all.
And to be sharing it with my other half, (note I did not say "better half" even though he is) makes it all that much better. We're like a little old couple sitting on the porch
watching the world go by, murmuring to each other now and then. Our view is like a moving picture - a feast for the eyes with sailboats & fishing boats going by. The waves are higher today, but I still find them music to my ears.
Many people including myself listen to the sound of water, (ocean, rain) to relax or fall asleep to water which is very soothing and calming, and I can tell you it triggers such a feeling of wellness in me. Perhaps it's because when we're in the womb we're floating our little buns off, and then when we're born we are 75% water. So coming back to the water must turn a part of our brain on that says, "I'm home". Looking out at the blue sky with the aqua marine ocean shimmering and rolling surely brings the heart rate down and soothes the brain. (Or is that the margaritas doing that?)
Because most of this area is built around 3 bays as mentioned, the beaches are calmer. And it helps that the 2nd largest reef in the world is right in front of us, so the beaches are protected by the reef
which in turn keeps the beaches soft and filled with sand. Beach erosion isn't as big of an issue here as in some other places in the Caribbean where strong currents erode beaches very quickly. When we rented a private villa in Playa del Carmen back in 2010, the government spent a fortune (the scoop is around $71 million) to rebuild the beaches. It was something to see the process they used to do this. But Mother Nature's mood can change quickly and her currents can wash those beaches away pretty swiftly.
But in this area the water is calmer, and you see a lot more non-motor water activities like kite surfing, sailing, snorkeling, kayaking and people just floating in the water. This is a fantastic perk; offering a tranquil playground for those that seek out that type of holiday without the noise of watercraft. There are a handful of resorts we pass on our journey, and people walking the cobblestone streets lined with palm trees and gorgeous flowers. Everybody here is just so darn happy walking around. Who wouldn't bein such a tropical paradise?
We rented a golf cart and have had fun zipping around on it.
We got a brand spanking new one and boy does it have some zip to it. Bruno from Quebec did us right! It's just so easy to hop on for excursions. It's so beautiful to drive around here; we pass the golf courses, water, ocean, cafes, mansions, the marina all of which is just so spectacular. I like to put my arm around Al as he drives. He thinks that is so romantic (I hate to break it to him, while I like the idea of being romantic, I also like the idea of not flinging off the golf cart if he hits a bump. 😊
This area is just so quaint, and already we've gotten to know a few ex-pats here. Lots of Americans and Canadians here including Gringo Dave who hails from Texas & owned a restaurant here but sold it a few years ago. I had been sitting by a cafe enjoying a drink while Al took some pics and he idled up to me to have a chat. He's a fascinating guy who LOVES Puerto Aventuras and I'm sure he could share lots of stories about this neck of the woods. And we met his
friend Vicky as well and we've had a few encounters to sit and chat. (If you read this blog Vicky, please get in touch with me to come over for a drink at our condo. We need to show it off to somebody!!!)
The majority of the action in PA is around the marina and some of the boats are jaw-dropping. Many of them are for rent for day charters, so I asked a guy on a boat what was the cost and what did it include? So he takes you out for a cruise, open bar, food, and you can swim off the boat, snorkel, and he takes you to a private beach where you can lounge and swim. The cost wasn't cheap, but I got him down on the price. Or perhaps we'll meet some other people who want to do it too and split the cost. I'd have to have a drink with them first to see if they'd be people I'd enjoy sharing a day on a boat, or people I'd want to toss off once we got out on the high seas. 😊
Each day we've headed out for lunch/drinks/happy hour and have
enjoyed watching the dolphins at the marina. Yesterday they were playing with volleyballs knocking them over a net to each other. They are such beautiful creatures, and their sounds are delightful. We also saw some sea lions too which was pretty cool.
The marina is a fair size, and is designed as a walk-about via boardwalks which is a really great way to explore the area. And they built restaurants and shops all around the marina, so no matter where you dine or enjoy a drink, it's ideal for views. There's a nice variety of restaurants from Italian, to pubs, to Mexican, to gelato, seafood etc. What we're finding is that it's a really jovial community, and the ex-pats notice if you're new in town and like to chat you up.
We've enjoyed some nice meals so far; fresh fish comes off the boats daily (mostly mahi-mahi) which is a real treat. Food has been top-notch with wonderful service.
I tell you, these people know how to make a margarita. And they don't measure, they just pour. We met Rachel the bartender at Cafe Ole and she's a firecracker. Lots of fun, and she gave us fish
fingers as a snack - freshly caught, made by hand with this zingy tartar sauce. So tasty...We just sat and enjoyed the sun on our faces, watching people stroll the marina, enjoying every nanosecond.
On our way back to the condo after lunch, we noticed 4 school aged kids on a golf cart ahead of us. They look like they went to a private school, and one by one they dropped off kids at their home. Finally they pull up to our condo so as we parked I got off and walked over to them. I was curious what the deal was, and I was right, they had just finished school, and they travel together. No school bus for them - and the driver was 10 years old!
Anyhow one student, 18 got out at our condo, and he lives with his parents in the penthouse. I have seen pictures of this condo and it is out of a magazine. I think I saw it listed for 1.2 million US which converted to Canadian is ah, hmmm, probably a billion bucks. OK, I guess our dollar isn't THAT bad...yet. Anyhow we introduced ourselves, had a chat, and I
asked him to put in a good word to the pool staff to turn the pool heater up. Next day pool was pretty comfy 😊
It was a leisurely afternoon, spent lying in the hammock by the ocean, and in and out of the pool and just enjoying this fabulous condo. Frankly if you saw us you'd be thinking we were filming a Corona commercial as it was that kind of day...
At 7 last night we hopped back on the golf cart and went back to Cafe Ole for a night of blues & soul music. We sat on these big cozy couches with candles and soft lights and enjoyed a fine glass of wine. The guitarist was really good playing a hollow body electric guitar. It was just so lovely and romantic 😊
HEALTH IS YOUR
TRUE WEALTH
This trip couldn't come at a better time. This year was again challenging for a few of us in the family health wise, including myself. I'm never sick, not on any medication, and overeall enjoy pretty good health. However, a number of months ago I ended up in the emergency after having a weird
"spell" which was very brief but it just felt odd for me. Thereafter I've been having a series of ongoing tests and appointments with the Heart and Stroke Clinic and neurologist etc. to rule something in or rule something out. Of course I don't make things easy for them as I present with NO underlying health issues or causes for a TIA (long referred to as a mini-stroke). Non-smoker, non-diabetic, no cholesterol issues, weight under control, b/p generally normal, regular exercise, healthy enough diet. The doctors keep looking at me saying, "What are YOU doing here? You don't fit any criteria"?! And I feel as fit as a fiddle, never taken any medication for anything.
They did determine that I have a congenital heart defect (from birth) which is an atrial septal defect which is a hole in the wall of the upper two chambers of the heart. IF I had a TIA (often referred to as a mini stroke), the chances of the blood clot going through the hole in my heart to the brain are very likely. But I have not been diagnosed as having had a TIA so please (family/friends) don't get yourselves all up in
a tether.
So after all types of tests, they did determine I do have a brain and a heart 😉 and now that all my test results are in, I will be referred to a heart specialist to see if they need to do anything with this ASD. Let's just say, if I wasn't focused on my health before I am paying particular attention to myself all that much more. We all need to take care of our health and our body as it's the only true home we really live in...
The fact my brother Bill died suddenly presented all sorts of red flags for the doctors. I am now almost the age when Bill died suddenly with no symptoms or diagnosis of an illness, so I'm very grateful for all the extra attention I've received. It is a very weird and odd feeling to think of Bill in relation to my health. If only he could've had in-depth testing that I've received, his life could've been saved. However, the "
if only" type of thinking gets you nowhere fast except to very dark corners of your mind. And I shall not go there especially given the gift
of this couple-only holiday.
TO LOVE HONOR AND VACUUM
So after all that, we decided we needed to do this trip for us, and for our marriage. Marriage is not really tested until a) you have kids b) your kid(s) get sick c) you or your spouse get sick d) you go through grief e) you have financial troubles etc. and so forth from F to Z. Geez it's a wonder any marriage survives as life is always a roller coaster. And we've been through alot of the above but our kid being sick and my brother's death tested us more than anything else but we remain united. I appreciate Al's support and reassurance through it all.
After all these years I gotta say I still REALLY like that guy. So much so that I can't think of a single time in our almost 19 years together that I wanted to smother him with a pillow. (No comment from Al about me 😊
I think most married people will say the hardest thing about marriage when you have kids is finding time for each other, or time to devote to each other.
What I've learned in my years with Al is that it's the little everyday things that make marriage tick along. Like when Al changes the sheets and I get into a freshly-made bed. Times like that Al is smoking hot I'll tell you. 😉 That deserves a double wink don't ya think? (Al will cringe with embarrassment when he reads this!) Al appreciates a warm dinner ready, or when I fold his clothes with the exact precision that he does (god I hate folding laundry - give me a root canal any day).
Parenting and marriage is not for sissies. It takes even an effort to remember to say "Hi honey" at the end of the busy day. Or just taking a second out for a little kiss while the pot of potatoes is boiling over while one of the kids is anxiously awaiting help with their homework. As a rule of thumb is we sit down and eat together at the end of every day, sharing a glass of wine and usually a laugh. None of these are huge gestures, but they can add up to a big hill of beans.
Marriage is not a sprint it's
a long dragged out marathon when you have children. It's a balancing act of raising and guiding the kids, and it's no small job being in charge of someone else's life. It's not like we're raising sheep here. The better we raise them the better the retirement home will be (I'm thinking nice pool, hot tub, and happy hour.) 😊 And when Al & I are ever in a retirement home (god forbid) I will insist on a golf cart after the few times we've enjoyed the use of one on holiday. It's just going to be the only way we ROLL 😊
The tricky part though is not getting caught up in the day to day routine while keeping a close eye on your marriage while raising intelligent, kind and independent kids. But man there are days. Days when I tell Al I'm fantasizing about running away to Mexico, and he says, "Buy 2 tickets please"...(And we've got great kids - it's just the run run run, and overseeing and well you all know...)
I was on a school trip a few years ago & talking to a 'helicopter' mom that felt every waking second of her
time needed to be focused on her kids. Motherhood had become some fanatical religion for her. I asked her if she ever did anything alone or with her husband, and basically I received a big fat NO. Kids slept in their bed, kids called the shots, kids couldn't go anywhere or do anything without her presence. (And she doesn't drink - that was the biggest puzzle for me 😉
Frankly I felt like kidnapping her to get her away from the cult. Sheesh. I felt I was a hands-on mom, but that was taking it to a level I did not want to go. I also think the kids needed to be kidnapped from her so they could learn some independence, and have some freedom to learn to make some decisions for themselves. It'd be interesting to check in on her marriage in about 10 years to see how that all worked out. A good motto on life is: "Don't spoil your kids. Spoil your spouse". (I just got Al a margarita so he's pretty spoiled right about now).
In the end if we do our job right, our kids will grow up and leave home and not
be embedded on our living room couch. When each one leaves, Al and I standing at the door together waving goodbye with tears in our eyes and a lump in our throat. That will be hard enough, but what would be worse is to shut the door and be standing next to a spouse I no longer have any connection to and need a GPS to map out where our marriage went.
When the time comes, I want to close that door to our last kid, have a moment of tears and hugs, and then yell 'YAHOO, AL GRAB THE CHAMPAGNE & LET'S PARTY!' (just kidding girls!)
On that note, I am just really happy that I found that one special person I can 'annoy' for the rest of my life and celebrate the fact we have wonderful kids that we are so darn proud of. (See funny image)
*Speaking of marriage (or divorce after you read this one)...Did anyone read about the husband (Walter) who recently stopped for gas on a trip in a foreign country, and then drove 60 miles before he realized his wife wasn't in the car? Turns out while he was getting
gas, she went to the washroom. Stuck in a foreign country she was forced to call police to help her out. Finally Walter was alerted to the situation & returned 2 hours later to pick up his wife. Apparently she was so furious she kicked the car when he returned. Gotta love marriage. (The difference between Al & Walter? Al isn't that dumb - there's no way he'd have returned to pick me up. He'd know better than that 😉 Drive on Geraldine...drive on.
Off to take a dip in one of those lagoon whirlpools. Just back from lunch & nobody is out of their condos. Lord we may be unknowingly part of some witness protection program! Where is everybody? Never mind - I don't care - we have the whole place to ourselves. 😊
Cheers,
Captain and Tennille 😊
*My secretary is on sick leave, so read at your own risk (i.e. spelling/grammar)
PS 2 pages of pics; click on them to enlarge...
PSS for all you romantics out there, take a listen to "Just the Two of Us" (Bill Withers)...
Home and Away
Bob Carlsen
Thanks for sharing the second half of your blog...
Linda and I agree with everything you said...good advice.