No Monogamy in Mexico

Published: February 19th 2017
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"Next week I'm meeting my boyfriend in Oaxaca" is a startling phrase to say on the third date. My mind raced, in limited spanish vocabulary, for the right response to her declaration. "Tienes un novia?" I stuttered incorrectly seeking clarification on the vacationer. She laid it out including her relationship motive, the open agreement, and where I stand in the love triangle.

Dating in Mexico was not what I expected. I've heard rumors of Spanish "I love you's" that arrive at the end of date #1, Friday evenings spent with family, green card social climbers, but little matched my expectations. My immediately obvious blind spot was monogamy - it's not a priority in the middle age mexican crowd, and my romantic commitment-oriented mind was blown.

I spent the week with Berenice enjoying the mountains of San Cristobal, exploring city streets, musicians, and puppet shows. She told me about her life back in Mexico City, her open relationship, and her work doing cultural research across Mexico. On the last day we kissed and said we'd see each other again someday. It was raining on the horizon. A rainbow stretched across the the alley, and I walked towards the bus station.


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