The Rest of Canada

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We woke up groggy. We had slept amazing but we weren't feeling 100%. We decided to take a gander at the Falls, snap some pics, and then hit the road.

We had some trouble figuring out the crazy Canadian highways and road systems. We got a few tickets for speeding, reckless driving, running a red light, leaving the scene of an accident, etc, which we aren't paying because we have diplomatic immunity.

We snuck into a middle school gymnasium to take showers.

We were clean but we were burned out and sick of the car. We decided to go camping and cook hotdogs no matter how much it cost. (It's only Canadian money anyway)

We found a campsite, set up our tent in the rain, bought firewood (not kindling), hotdogs, and mustard. We tried to start a fire but were unsuccessful. We borrowed kindling and an axe from drunken merry campers down the road. Ian finally got a fire going and we roasted up some dogs. We returned to the campers, some of whom went to bed, one who probably should have been in bed (she was almost passed out on a picnic table) and the rest who were enjoying the country music and gabbing in unique vernacular. We hung around until their neighbors told them to shut it, because it's one o clock in the morning. Then we went back, ate another dog, and hit the sack.

In the morning we packed up, showered, rearranged our car, and got moving. On the road, we created the most delectable treat, which we appropriately dubbed "Cheerey Butter Yum Yums." Hunger is no longer an issue. No matter what happens, we will always be able to make Cheerey Butter Yum Yums. The recipe will not be shared on this blog, though, because it's a public blog where anyone could easily steal it. But any significant event that I ever host will have Cheerey Butter Yum Yums as an hors d'oeuvre.

Our goal that day was to leave Canada, so our time in that country was waning quickly. We stopped by a grocery store and used the rest of our Canadian bills on cheese, meat, chips, and peanuts, and ate like kings in the parking lot. Afterwards, we only had enough time to do one more thing.

I heard from an anonymous source that Canada was home to the best strip clubs in the world, that you just can't get that kind of quality in the States. Well, naturally, Ian and I did NOT go to one. Under no circumstances. We couldn't find one anyway.

Instead, we stumbled upon a casino 14 miles from the border and tried one last hurrah. Amazingly enough, through a combination of choosing the right slots, counting the right cards, finding the right chumps, and maximizing our luck, we managed to make back all of the money we lost in our first night in Canada! We won it back piece by piece, and we worked for every cent. We could not have been more proud of ourselves. Then we lost $1000 at the poker table and hightailed it out of there.

What better highway to take us back into our native land than 81 South? We entered 81 right where it started, where it was born and grew into the 81 we know and love today. There was something comforting about driving down that road. I follow it long enough and I'm home. Ian follows it a little farther and he's home too.

But we're not going home, no matter how much we may want to. And a part of me does. I miss it. I miss my home, my family, and my dog. But we're far from heading back. The trip has really just started. For the first time, we have no deadlines and nowhere we need to be.

My mind races as we park in an empty lot and lean back our chairs for the night, comforted by, if nothing else, the familiarity of my own country.

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Comments

[Chris Baglio]

welcome back!
sounds like an eventful and priceless experience in Canada, glad to have yall back in the U.S. of A. How will you stay busy until the wedding?

[Lera]

you guys are absolutely crazy!! i'm glad you are having a good trip! :)