Canada

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We made it to the border today, around 4:00-ish or something. After a lengthy interrogation from a friendly Border Patrol, we crossed into Canada. It was my first time in a foreign land, but both of us were startled by the immediate changes. Speed limits were in kilometers, bags of chips were written in French, moose roamed the sidewalks, and cars drove on the left side of the road.

The Niagara Falls are two tremendous waterfalls, both reaching over 700 feet into the air, and stretching over 8,000 feet wide. They pour a staggering 500 million cubic meters of water over their edges and into the rocky fathoms of its pits every minute. People can stand behind the railings right next to where the Horseshoe Falls drop, but those who veer too far over the edge for a better glimpse often find themselves overwhelmed by the implications which the sheer force of the waters bring to mind and they topple over into the rushing blue, too stunned to scream. The Falls were the main reasons we traveled to Canada in the first place. Yes, they looked pretty cool from our window as we drove straight to the casino.

Fallsview Casino was a new, top-of-the-line establishment. We put on our nicest pairs of shorts and shoes and entered. It was everything I imagined a casino would be and more. Bright lights, indistinguishable slot machine noises, beautiful buxom cocktail waitresses unloading complimentary drinks for men too distracted to appreciate, levers poised and waiting to be yanked. The powerful hurrahs of a victory, the more powerful wails of defeat. We exchanged $20 US for $40 Canadian, and promptly lost half in the slots. A minor setback. I sat down at a slot machine with a good feeling and slipped it five bucks. Ian pointed to the "Max Bet" button. "Do not press that button," he said. Wondering how much the maximum bet was, I pressed the button. The slots started spinning, i had just gambled $2.50. Amazingly enough I won $15, and I cashed out. The slots were a waste of time, we went to check out the poker tables.

The lowest buy in at a table was $100. Way too expensive. One of us would have to buy in for at least $400 to keep from being the small stack. Way too expensive. So we withdrew $400 and Ian sat down at the table. By no fault of his own, he lost $200 and left the table. We withdrew $200 more and I sat down with $400. By no fault of my own, I lost it all. There is a certain sensation that often follows an exciting day at a casino, and we were feeling it. But we were sensible, and knew when it was time to just cut our losses and move on. We lost $20 more on slots and left.

We walked into the Maple Leaf tavern, the weight of the night on our shoulders. We ordered a pitcher of Canada's finest beer. We had earned it. We spent the night drinking and playing pool, ($1 (one looney) a game) and mingling. We befriended Dominique, the bartender, who had been working there part time for years, back when people fought on a whim, prostitutes and drug dealers shamelessly advertised their goods and services, and you had to roll up your pants when you walked to keep off the ankle deep blood. We befriended Don, a sociable old man who talks smack, can hold his liquor, and was rusty at pool. "This is my second home," he said. "Are you gonna be here tomorrow?" "Oh yea, this is my second home." I wonder where he is now. We befriended Ron, Canadian born and bred, a not so old man with a kind disposition, who speaks modestly, and shoots like a pro. We befriended Sandy, a mom with a liking to bars who stood underneath the Falls and lived to tell the tale. We met Kevin, Rob, and Doria, who were not fond of Sandy, not fond of us, and, no surprise, from Ohio. They left soon after they came. After countless games of pool and countless glasses of ale (Dominique gave us some on the house), and after it was apparent that none of our newfound friends were taking the hint that "We have no place to sleep," "Do you know where we can sleep for free?" "I guess we'll just sleep in the car, but it kills our backs," "We just count on the innate goodness of people to reach out and help us," "We just need a floor, that's it, or just a yard to pitch a tent in, that is it," "For goodness sake, can we stay with you?" we decided it was time to leave.

We stumbled drunkenly out of the bar and tried to find our way back to the casino, where our car was parked. Ian claimed to be following me, but sped past me, leaving me struggling just to keep up. When I asked if he knew where he was going, he would yell, "I'm following you." After two miles or so, he finally stopped in the middle of a neighborhood, where neither of us had been before. We checked our little map of the Niagara Falls area which we found in the dollar store, but we were too far gone, far from the borders of our little map. We asked directions from a 7-Eleven cashier and discovered that we had been walking in the completely opposite direction. We hoofed it back the two miles to the bar, and then to the casino, where we lost $100 in slots, and went to sleep in the casino garage for the night.

Overall, a very successful first night in Canada.

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