The night before we go!

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I can remember the first time that I was going on a real vacation. I think I was about 11 years old and I was going to Disneyland with mom and my brother and my great-granny. I couldn’t sleep for days.
My brother had matching twin beds in his room and we’d lay and talk all night about what it would be like when we finally got there. What rides we were going to go on, how much candy we were going to eat….I was so excited that it almost consumed me to point that I couldn’t function.
I kinda feel like that about this trip. Well the consumed to the point I can’t function anyhow. It is less than 24 hours before we go and I still have so much to do….but can’t seem to get moving at all….
Don’t get me wrong. I am thrilled to be heading out on the trip of lifetime. I have spent most of my adult life dreaming about touring around Europe and after so much time in the hospital to research and google I knew I had to go.
And then we found the chemo treatment that Loggie did in 2008 originating in Italy. There were so many signs and synchronicities pointing to that regimen that we knew it was right. So, after completing 18 months of barf festival, I promised her that as soon as she was better and stable long enough that it was safe to travel that far we’d take her to Italy.
The planning started almost immediately (hell it’s a big bill to pay) and nearly 2 years later….we are packing our bags to go.
Only one glitch.
She started having seizures….and was formally diagnosed with them 11 days ago. We don’t know what is causing them or why they are happening…..the fact that she has residual brain tumors doesn’t help alleviate the stress nor does the fact that the radiation she had is damaging her already fragile brain….all that matters is that numerous times a day Loggie zones out….or gets dizzy or goes limp and now we know why.
Epilepsy.
And that makes getting on a plane for the “trip of a lifetime” more nerve racking than exciting.
But just the same as anything else we’ve dealt with in the past we will move forward with this too. We will get on that plane in 24 hours and we will get to Italy…..we will eat our faces off, and pray to the dickens at the Vatican for a miracle or two. We will ride double decker bus’ and watch flamenco dancers. We will take a Gondola ride. We will pick sand out of our asses after too much sun on a beach in Greece….and in between the moments where we lose Loggie for a brief period of time we will grab a hold of the life and experiences around us we are blessed to be living.
Cancer is a nasty thing. It is greedy and just keeps taking. I used to think I had some bit of control over it….but now I am smarter than that …..and I know now that all I have control over is how we are going to deal with it.
Is going to Europe 11 days after you find out your daughter is sick again….while just starting new meds….not knowing if they will work……the smartest thing to do?
I don’t know…..but what I do know…..is that I am about to find out.
And like Logan said to me…..”well mom, it looks likes from what the doctors have said I am going to be having seizures….I guess we just have to decide if I am going to have them in Maple Ridge….or in Europe…”
Europe sounds much better don’t you think?
So there you have it…..we are almost ready… Not that we had much room to pack anyhow…..33lbs isn’t a lot of weight in a suitcase when you’ve got 30lbs of meds!
Wish us luck and please feel free to follow us !
Lots of Love!
The Lays

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Photos

Our own little emergency room
This is all the meds we need for our "carefree" trip to Europe...and sadly....no, the Ativan is NOT for me!

Comments

[lori]

No Ativan?
Eat , Pray , Love in all you exciting, adventurous destinations, but please pack the ativan, or at least do some serious wine tasting in Italy. Will be touring the Copeland islands while you are gone but planning to bring the laptop (so i can chronicle this new boating/exploring adventure of ours) so hope to keep up with your blog. Take good care and may God grant you the miracles you pray for. Much love and peace to you all ..Bon Voyage..lori and gang

[Patty]

Wishing you safe travels and amazing adventures! Love to all.

[Anita W.]

YaY!
So glad you are back and blogging, Jen! I love to hear your perspective day by day. An it reminds me to keep you all in the forefront of my prayers. I love to travel also and get to live vicariously thru your tales and adventures. We will get sand in our butts this weekend in Grindrod. Last weekend we dodged downpours and photographed lightning storms in Sask, and Alta. And had a blast watching the prairie relatives dance all the old time dances... Man! those people can boogie... and polka and waltz and jive and shauteuse and do Ukranian dances I cannot begin to pronounce or spell! It is always the highlight of the reunion for me... watching my aunties and uncles dance with everyone and continuously until they kick us out! On the 10th it's back to Childrens for what we hope will be Jake's last foot surgery. Just before he starts his first year of college! Then I get a week in Bella Coola, where I have never been! This will be 1/2 work and 1/2 play. And summer scurries as we try to grab her and hold tight... wringing out the joy and the memories.