Unexpected?

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Trick of the light - Matt Corby

It will happen. It happens to the best of us.
Side-stepping. Doubting. Looking back.

Did I head the wrong way? Why is my mind filled with regrets? Because I remember and my hurts come from the comparison. But there are many sides to a memory; in a weird way I am better than ever.
At least three times in a sedentary year will I retrospect and try to recenter. Because I loose my grip too easily, I’m emotionally clustered, I go blurry. Good thing I write, better thing I have fully lived.
I have seen the maritimes and the North-West of the states. Bike through two countries and camped in all kinds of weather. Crossed the Continental Divide five times and witnessed the midnight sun. I have connected, loved and learned. What else? What’s next?
If in one book pride and envy are evil deeds, then it’s not mine and will never be. Taking a step back at the moment I can see that my next dive is going to lose me and all of my landmarks in a blissful world of uncertainty and fear. It is the known but misunderstood that I dread. Seeing all that I cannot change and not possessing the acceptance necessary to feel comfort in normality.
I have let my anguish for living take the best of me through the quiet times. I should now appreciate the moments I can still have with my loves until I jump the ocean.
The plan is still pretty much the same : get ready for the next adventure. I have Europe in mind, especially that I now have ressources to get me on a boat to get there. I crave the North but also the other side. France, Scotland, Ireland, Germany, Norway, Swede, Austria, Russia, Mongolia, Tibet, Philippines, India, Australia and Kiwi-Land. And all that’s in between. I don’t know, I should look at a map.
For now my legs are finding their strenght back, slowly. My skin is burnt and my body tired. I am living in one of the most amaizing places I have laid my eyes on. I meet amaizing people a bit to fast; see new limits and make new moves I’m not sure about. I am well surrounded; some further some closer but beautiful people all around.
The Canadian Rockies have so much to show and as much hidden. I am constantly amazed.
And there I am. Right where I should be at the moment. Feeling too much and building patiently a universe to myself.
♡

Roll the bones - Shakey Grave

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Photos

It looks like the back of a fairly big fish
It is becoming even easier for me to connect with stranger, but it is on myself that I have no trust left. Stoney Squaw is only a montain's name now.

Here's to that rainy day
I appreciate the sky for all it has to offer and what it refuses to limit.

Good frens from afar
That I miss as hell.

Viggo is still the one
And I can't see that changing. Ever.

Comments

[Isabelle]

Love reading your blogs! I really enjoy your writing style and I find your thoughts very relatable. I catch myself nodding along or wanting to say “so true!” aloud. Looking forward to have a chat next time we happen to be in the same country at the same time! Take care of my little sis for me xx

[Michel Landry]

Settling down
Just read your entry. Still stunning, still good. There is wisdom, and a good one, in settling down. For a moment. It's harder to contemplate and assimilate all the road covered while moving. But settling down shouldn't mean to get immobilized. Leave that to the monks! Even better to settle UP, to raise our chin, our glass, from those adventures behind, to look at those that lie before us. A friend once told me that to do great (whatever great means to you), you have to give you the chance to build the tools you need to do so, instead of blindly jump everywhere. There is wisdom there too. But as one of your western folks once said: "A (moment) without movement should be a welcomed anomaly, not a way of life."