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Published: June 25th 2017
Geo: 25.27, 55.33
Dubai is one strange city. Good strange or bad strange seems to depend on your mood and what you're looking at.
Because of oil revenues, a large modern city exists where none should exist- on the edge of an Arabian desert. And because Dubai is the one city state within the UAE that is actually running out of oil, it is rapidly trying to diversify into a financial centre, airline hub, tech centre, and just about anything else it thinks might guarantee the future of Dubai citizens who live simply to shop. And if you're building a city that is looking to attract attention, you will need to veer off the path of bland and ordinary (hello Toronto), and step outside the box.
Dubai steps so far out that it becomes a strange jumble of buildings that, on their own, are wonderful but together seem oddly mismatched and randomly scattered. Not only is the architecture Las Vegas-inspired but the societal culture is also curious. Dubai is the place where a British couple were jailed after a local woman claimed she spotted them kissing on the lips and stroking each others
backs. Public consumption of alcohol prompts immediate arrest; adultery is an imprisonable offence; and mall shoppers are advised against "overt displays of affection", such as kissing. It is also a place where an estimated 30,000 prostitutes (out of a total population of 1.5 million) operate with relative official tolerance- Emirates and other Arabs (Saudis in particular) form a large portion of the customer base.
The high water mark of strange for us was the building of a snow ski hill inside a large shopping mall in the middle of a desert!! There are 5 slopes of varying steepness and difficulty, including a 400-metre-long run. With that as our first obsession we dropped our bags at our hotel and headed to the Mall of the Emirates. DH was signed up for two hours of downhill skiing and, over the same timeframe, I was going to be taking snowboarding lessons. Imagine the disappointment when only DH's voucher was processed properly and I was left on the other side of the window watching DH pretend to need skiing tips and suggestions from two Russian downhillers (probably both named Rasputin). Missing out on learning to snowboard in the desert was
a big deal and now I might be stuck taking lessons from Deb P (although I might skip the one where you land on your face and break your sternum). Snowbunny DH (who has now picked up more Russian than she did during the entire time we were in Russia) had a great time and has started pushing for a ski holiday and a skin-tight snow suit.
Given that it was 43C (for our American Fahrenheit readers, that's really, really hot) and about 80% humidity (for our American readers, that's really, really damp), it didn't take long to warm up so we headed out to the desert to do some sand dune bashing in a 4x4. The objective of this exercise seems to be getting airborne without actually hurting anyone inside the vehicle (although the first part is definitely more important than the second). We never did get the cultural or sporting significance of racing around the desert like a madman but than again Dubai is a strange place. And we weren't too sure why we needed to go to the desert for hair-raising driving adventures given that virtually all high-performance vehicles are available in Dubai
and everyone seems to speed- relative to the number of vehicles on the road, UAE has six times more deaths from road traffic accidents per year than the U.S. & Europe.
On day two we headed to the Dubai Mall (all together there are well over 40 major shopping malls in Dubai, including the Dubai Mall which is the world's largest shopping mall based on total area- the Dubai Mall alone attracted over 65 million visitors in 2012 which is apparently more than New York City?) and this was to check off another item we have had on our list- scuba diving in a shark-filled aquarium in the middle of a sea full of shoppers. This turned out to be a very pricey activity, with a difficult schedule to accommodate, and, although the aquarium was a good size, it was hard to see how you might stay entertained for half an hour (other than staring out at the burka clad shoppers wandering by). Reluctantly we took a pass and wandered to the other side of the mall and that's when we saw it!! Could it be?? We had to be careful because we were in a
hot desert climate and mirages are common, but there we were standing in front of that bastion of Canadian coffee, Tim Hortons. The Filipino staff in this Arab country even knew what a 'double-double' was!! Still not wanting to get our hopes up, we grabbed our coffee and an apple fritter and moved quickly to the intimate security of a booth. It looked like a Timmies, it smelled like a Timmies, and, most important of all, it tasted like a Timmies. Perhaps Dubai is not so strange after all!
After this warm memory of home, we headed for the elevators next door and sped (60 kilometres per hour) up to the observation deck of what is currently the tallest building in the world, Burj Khalifa. At over 828 metres (over 2,717 feet), and more than 160 stories Burj Khalifa holds a number of records- tallest free standing structure in the world, highest number of stories, highest occupied floor, highest outdoor observation deck, highest nightclub and restaurant, elevator with the longest travel distance, and worlds
second highest swimming pool (what happened there??). Unfortunately the Burj Khalifa also highlighted another Dubai oddity- imported labour. Burj Khalifa was built primarily by workers from South Asia and East Asia. The current generation of UAE locals who do 'work' prefer government jobs (often ceremonial) and consider private sector jobs to be below them- because of the benefits available from the UAE government, most locals would rather rely on these benefits and not work at all (more time to shop). According to a BBC investigation and a Human Rights Watch report, the workers were housed in abysmal conditions, and worked long hours for low pay (about $5 a day). Engineering marvel and yet another example of mans inhumanity.
Back on terra firma we jumped on a double decker bus to see the other sights of Dubai (not surprisingly, in a town that has an annual Shopping Festival, shopping malls were a big part of the tour), and we even had time to do a little Segway tour along the abandoned sidewalks of Dubai (the citizens of Dubai do not walk anywhere outside- the daily routine seems to be a combination of air conditioned car, air conditioned home, and air conditioned shopping mall with short brief walks between the three). After finishing with the Segway in a stifling
heat, DH was in serious need of medicinal a/c and we tried desperately to get into a mall only to find that they don't have entrances off of the street- it's just assumed that you will be driving your air conditioned limo into the cool confines of the attached parking garage. Apparently only Canadians are desperate enough for heat to want to play on the streets of this town.
Dubai is a strange city.
Since I missed out on my snowboard lessons, we decided that we'd have to give flyboarding a try in this truly bizarre and strange town. What is flyboarding you ask?? You head to the beach, strap on a snowboard-like piece of equipment with two jets attached underneath (that are also attached to a Seadoo floating nearby). When the Seadoo operator guns his engine you are launched ten feet into the air and theoretically steer yourself by tilting you feet back and forth. I say theoretically, because my attempts to steer resulted in a very degrading series of belly flops (very much like Deb P trying to snowboard). It was also mandatory to do something they called the
"dolphin"- probably because the motion resembled a dolphin jumping in and out of the water, but equally likely, because you need the brain the size of a fish to think this is a good idea. Because no speedo-clad Russians were participating, DH took a pass leaving the fun, and humiliation, all to me.
The heat (even the water was uncomfortably warm) once again forced us back indoors where we were able to catch up with a mysterious friend of ours- so mysterious that I'm not even sure we're allowed to talk about her. She has three official names, numerous pseudonyms, is constantly on secretive missions around the world, and her situation fits in perfectly with Dubai. She hooked us up with a number of our Dubai activities and that was very much appreciated (although she also begged off going flyboarding with me). She also managed to get us to our early morning flight leaving Dubai.
If Singapore is a wonderful urban garden with buildings that seem to compliment one another, Dubai is the garden that results after you visit the Home Depot Garden Centre and you buy 1 of everything- some of the plants turn out to be spectacular but
there's no flow. The building still showing up on all the tourist brochures is the sail-shaped Burj Alarab, but there's buildings that twist a full 90 degrees, a building shaped like Buddhist hands praying, there's buildings you drive right through, there's a palm shaped neighbourhood jutting into the sea, and there's the aforementioned tallest building in the world, the Burj Khalifa. Lots of individual Wows.
I may have mentioned that Dubai is one strange city (and I struggle with financial excesses of the citizens and the dreadful treatment of the imported labour force) but it is certainly memorable and we're glad we dropped in. If you love high-end shopping, this is your town (although we never did find the vending machines that dispense gold bars).
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debp
non-member comment
omg, I can see you trampling women and young children.