Anne's first week in Dubai

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After a long wait, and several delays, I finally got to Dubai at about 3am last Saturday night, to be met by sweltering heat, absolutely no snow, and a customs official who clearly didn’t care who I was, what I was doing or where I was going. After a nice trip down an empty Sheik Zayed Road (the only time you’ll ever see it like that), we got back to Lee’s place, which is so much bigger than the photos make it look! It’s such a nice flat, with air con too 

The first day Lee took me to Mall of the Emirates, which is huge and has the world’s largest indoor ski slope – everything in Dubai is done to excess, it’s always ‘the biggest’ or ‘the longest’ in the world, nothing is ever ‘well this will do’, even if it doesn’t serve any purpose at all. We didn’t go skiing, but I was just flabbergasted by the whole thing. In fact, I was wondering around in such awe I couldn’t even shop! We got all of our Christmas decorations and some other bits and bobs, and came home and half decorated the Christmas tree (Lee would finish it while I was having a lie in) and then back out for tea. We went to this place called St. Maxim’s back in the Mall, where you order either from the stone or the grill – we both chose the stone and it basically means you get to cook your own steak, definitely the way to do things. We also took a nice little trip round the outskirts of Dubai looking for our pick-up point for the next day. Finding the place wasn’t TOO bad, but getting back took us miles out of our way where they tricked us with false speed bumps – there were speed bump signs, and the markings on the road were there, but there were no actual bumps. Cheeky gits. Anyway, when we got back, it was an early night for us.

We were up at 4.30, and left the flat at 4.50 to get picked up for our hot air balloon ride. After our excursion the night before we thought finding the place would be simple – and it would’ve been, had we not missed our first exit. One other thing about Dubai roads – there is nowhere to turn around for miles. And I mean miles. So, we had to reverse about 500m down the side of the motorway back to the exit. Luckily at that time the roads were quiet, otherwise we almost certainly would’ve been killed. We met our crazy pilot Peter and drove, along with 22 other people, into the middle of the desert – apparently it doesn’t have a name, it’s just the UAE desert. We got there about 6.30 and watched them blow up this absolutely enormous hot air balloon – light was just beginning to trickle into the landscape by now. At first I just wouldn’t believe that the basket would hold 24 people, but lo and behold it did. We all scrambled in (I managed much better than I thought I would) and got up in the air just in time to watch the sun come up. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. We stayed in the air for about an hour, and got up to about 3000 ft, and Peter later told me we’d travelled about 25km, which is more than they usually do. We saw some Bedouin farms, and quite a few gazelles, and also these huge ‘fake forests’ as Peter called them, which were tree plantations in the middle of the desert, again with no apparent purpose. When we landed – which was a little bit bumpy - we enjoyed a bit of a chaotic off road ride back to the highway. We were being driven in a mini-bus by Peter, who kept yelling ‘YOU STUPID’ at the top of his voice to the driver of the land cruiser in front, who apparently wasn’t going fast enough. There were a couple of scary moments where we narrowly avoided going into the back of the cruiser, but we got back to the road in one piece. When we got back, we slept. And slept some more. After this nap, we went round to George and Debbie’s villa, which is stunning, and had a barbecue. There was so much food! Lee was happy as there were shish kebabs, and I accidentally filled up on Debbie’s amazing minted potatoes. We then piled into a taxi, which was the most horrifying drive of my life, much worse than the off-roading mini-bus, to the Madinat Jumeirah. After my legs had recovered, we went to the Christmas markets in the middle of the Madinat. I couldn’t believe it. I’d travelled over 3000 miles to the Middle East, wearing shorts, and was drinking gluvine as I had been in Manchester not long ago. There was a Father Christmas for photos, and a giant bear that some Filipino woman seemed obsessed with. After this we went and had a drink in Zar Bar, on big bean bags next to the lake. It was so chilled out, and relaxed. Everyone there was drinking, yet there was no rowdiness, or shouting, or generally drunken behaviour, it was amazing. I wish bars in England were so easy-going. We spent the night chatting about George and Debbie’s Australian adventures, before heading back for a much needed good night’s sleep.

The next day saw a return to modern Dubai, as we visited the Dubai Mall. We got the metro down there, and it might seem like a daft point, but I was really impressed with the metro! On time, regular, not confusing, and really really clean. I’d thought the Mall of the Emirates was big, but it was nothing compared to this place. No surprise really, as it’s the biggest mall in the world – again that need to be the best at everything. But it is an incredible place. Determined to do more actual shopping today, we wandered around, I chose my Christmas present and bought some gifts, and we did a bit of clothes shopping. For lunch we sat outside on a deck above the big fake lake, and had an awesome view of the Burj Khalifa. We couldn’t even see the top of it from where we were sat. As I say, everything to excess. Perhaps one of the most amazing things about the mall is the aquarium and zoo – I just didn’t expect it in a mall. The aquarium is massive, and sits right opposite some sweet shops. Bizarre. We went through the underwater tunnel and up to the zoo, which isn’t too bad. They had some things I’d never seen before –like the American Paddlefish, and Giant Water Rats. Also, some Giant Spider Crabs which just freaked me out. They were massive, biggest crabs I’ve ever seen, and they really do look like aliens. Lee had his photo taken with a rather frisky snake, while I stood at the back of the room with my back against the wall, trying not to look at it. We also did a glass bottom boat ride across the tank, which wasn’t that thrilling to be honest, but we are going diving with them tomorrow which I’m ridiculously excited about it. Admittedly a little scared as I’ve never been diving before, but mainly excited :D After this we went to eat in one of the restaurants out by the lake. They have these really good fountain displays every half an hour – we saw 4 and they were all different, set to different pieces of music. They were beautiful. However, sat next to us were two really annoying women who insisted on chain smoking horrid smelling cigarettes and basically moaning the entire night. Other than that though, it was lovely.

One thing we’ve managed to do really well is make sure that each day is different. So the next day Lee took me down to Old Dubai, to see some of the proper souks down there. We got a little bit lost on the way down – well, I say lost, it was me not being able to find us on the map and us getting there much sooner than I anticipated that was the problem. We eventually found a parking space too, after a bit of driving around. I have to say, I couldn’t drive on these streets – Lee was totally right when he said how mental they are. Whether you’re on a big motorway or little back streets, people are always weaving in and out, trying to overtake you, and just being generally impatient. Our name for them now is weasels. And no one pays any attention to traffic signs, or lane discipline. Madness. Anyway, Lee found us a parking space, and we walked down to the creek. After the bustle of the malls, and the almost clinical precision of ‘modern Dubai’, it was nice to see the Creek and an area of the city where locals live and work. Where not everything is the biggest, or the best, but felt more real, and more every day. We were there just after 10, and although everything was open, it was really quiet – I did expect it to be busier than it was. We went to the textile souk first, and I got some gifts, but as soon as one of the guys has seen you buy something they all swoop in, trying to get you into their shops. We walked through there, and then got on a dhow across the creek. After the heat of the little souks it was nice to get some breeze on the creek, even if it was only for 5 minutes. On this side of the creek are the Gold Souk and the Spice Souk. The Gold Souk wasn’t what I expected – I don’t know if it was the time of day, or just that I had some completely crazy idea of it in my head. There were just rows and rows of shops, all with garish gold in the windows but no one trying to entice you in. However they were loads of guys waiting to whisk you up to some little room for some knock off watches and bags if you let them, but we weren’t having that. Then we went to the one I was most excited about - the Spice Souk. It was amazing. You’d just look at a bag of something and suddenly you’d be smelling a sample of it and being told how to use it. Some things I didn’t know if they were for food or soap. And all sorts of amazing smells teas – they’d just have dried hibiscus or rose hips in giant bags, which were amazing. After some more gift buying, we decided to head back, and had a lazy afternoon. Sometimes you just need an afternoon of watching films and chilling out.

Day five was something completely different to anything I’d ever done before – we were heading out on a desert safari, with some dune bashing, a meal and entertainment out at a Bedouin camp, and then spending the night camped out in the desert before heading to the mountains in Oman the next day. We met our driver Shan and the two other passengers – two middle-aged Swiss women called Berge and Annalise – about 3 and headed off. We went to the Dubai Desert Conservation Reserve, and there were about 30 vehicles, of which we were the only one doing the overnight stay. After some quick photo opportunities, we got to the dune bashing. It was mental – some of the dunes were huge, and there were so many cars! Even in a huge, comfy 4x4 it was a very bumpy ride. Shan even made a dodgy turn and ended up breaking one of the back lights with the frame for the spare tyre. We stopped at the top of some dunes where they were some absolutely amazing views across the desert, and we took plenty of photos. I never thought I’d find the desert beautiful, but it is, it’s one of the most stunning places I’ve ever seen. Just little things like looking at the camel and gazelle tracks, and the way the wind moves the sand. I love it. Anyway, after this little stop we got back in the cars and went further on, over more dunes, with Shan being a little bit more careful now. We drove through some wadis and past some of the recently released antelope that they’re reintroducing. Our next stop was for sunset. I didn’t think I’d be getting a sunrise and sunset in the desert in the space of a few days. It was amazing – we took more photos here than anywhere else I think. I’m trying to think of ways to describe it but can’t without sounding horrendously cheesy – I reckon it’s better just to look at the photos. Next we headed to the Bedouin camp – it’s a permanent feature there in the desert, and all the staff live on site. Shan dropped us off and headed off to set up camp with Berge and Annalise in the desert, before going to get the report for his broken light. The camp was absolutely huge – there was a large shisha area, buffet areas, and then a large stage surrounded by large tents on three sides which had tables underneath. I had a henna tattoo done, and we went to “experience true Arabic life” which meant putting on traditional dress and posing for some photos with a falcon and some shisha. Sat next to us on our table were a family from Bury, who had been on my flight out – talk about a small world. After some really good food, the belly dancer came out. She did about half an hour of dancing by herself, she must’ve been knackered. She was very good though, and did some impressive balancing acts with a sword. And, as Lee pointed out, she did look like she’d been collagened, which wasn’t particularly Bedouin. About 9pm everyone else headed back to the city, and we were taken out to our camp, which Shan had already set up. Berge was scared of some little desert mice that I thought were really sweet, and kept trying to get at the food. We sat and chatted to Shan for a while, he was telling us crazy traffic stories of Dubai and Abu Dhabi and asking about Lee’s job. One thing that amazed me was the temperature – I had expected it to be absolutely freezing out there, but I was wandering around with bare feet and it wasn’t a problem. In fact, the sand felt quite nice – as I was to realize later, much nicer than the sand you find on beaches. No bits of rubbish or shell or cigarette butts. We then set up our tent and tried to sleep. I don’t find tents particularly easy to sleep in at the best of times, but this one was too small, and then we had Annalise throwing up most of the night next to us (Berge was sleeping in the car because of the mice). Overall we reckon we got about 3 hours sleep, but it didn’t really matter. We got up the next day and Shan had set up breakfast – croissants, cornflakes, eggs, turkey sausages, tea and coffee – and after that we helped clear up and headed back to the road. Annalise really wasn’t well and I think Shan took the easiest the route back. When we got on the highway we headed out towards Oman. We drove past miles of open desert, where people had just driven out and camped. Lee got really excited about it and started mentally planning his trip with Scott and Dave for April ha-ha. You could tell when we got near to the Omani border – the landscape just changed. It went from open desert to rocky mountains. We pulled over a little way in, in what looked like a Wadi. There were these trees just sprouting up out of the rock, it looked bizarre. Good, but bizarre. Lee went scampering up to the top of the rocks to see what there was, and it was more mountains, which he definitely plans on exploring further. I think Shan would have taken us further had Annalise not been so ill, so after this we turned around and came back to Dubai, when we went home and – you guessed it – had a nap.

In all this excitement I’d completely forgotten it was Christmas Eve. I have to admit I’ve never felt less Christmassy, but that wasn’t a bad thing. I’d already made Lee open two of his Christmas presents (although he didn’t put up much of a fight), and we did have our Christmas tree and had bought all our food for Christmas dinner, and the rest of the presents were set up under the tree. We decided to go out for tea, and went back to the Madinat Jumeirah and the Christmas market. Firstly, the car park was INSANE. Everyone was all over the place – luckily we managed to nip into a space that someone else had just left, but I could have seen us spending a good 20minutes down there trying to park. We went back to the bar we’d been with George and Debbie, and had the chilli cheese fries (which I’d been told were good) and BBQ chicken wings, again not very Christmassy, but I didn’t care. And I have to say, it was very very good. Proper chilli, on proper chips, with the best chicken wings ever. I was very happy. We then took a walk to the Jumeirah Beach Hotel and walked back through the hotel parks, past the Burj Al Arab, which I think is the most beautiful building out here, and through all the grounds back to the Madinat. From here we walked through the other side of the Madinat, with the restaurants and boats on the lake. I’ve got to say, Jumeirah are massive out here – numerous hotels, the Madinat, the beach park. They know how to market themselves.

Christmas Day was quite a success – we had a bit of a lie in, and opened our presents. Dinner went very well (although there’s still some chicken and pigs in blankets in the fridge) and then we did what everyone’s supposed to do on Christmas Day – vegged. We stayed in our pyjamas all day and watched An Idiot Abroad and some films. You can’t go wrong with that.

As you have gathered, this was written by Anne, so I’ll just add a few things to that. While Anne has mentioned my navigational errors, she failed to mention the amount of profanity that has come out of my mouth whilst driving here around Dubai. Cooking my own steak was the best thing ever and I’ve never eaten one as good. She also forgot to tell you about the Brazilian tourists on the balloon ride who despite several instructions and demos from Peter on how to brace for landing still decided to squat in the basket holding on for dear life. We also did the gauntlet of running across a busy motorway to get to where our car was parked after the balloon ride which was fun...... I couldn’t tell if Anne was scared for me or for herself when I was handling the snake at the Mall as she was near enough climbing the wall to get further away from the incident. The us getting lost on the way to Old Dubai was definitely down to Anne’s lack of navigational skills as mine are second to none. One of the guys offered me some special sex spices to increase sex drive whilst we were at the spice souk. The desert safari was one of the best things I have ever done and the Bedouin camp entertainment evening was unlike anything you can imagine. Anne looked very fetching in traditional Arab woman dress. Finally whilst walking along the hotel parks which weren’t illuminated that much, we indulged in some illegal body contact and held hands during the walk.

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Photos

ST Maxim's
Cooking my own steak

Crazy Peter
The pilot Peter

Amazing view
The view of the lake and the Khalifa from where we ate lunch

Underwater tunnel
Walking through the underwater tunnel cutting through the aquarium

Frisky snake
Getting some pics with a snake in the underwater zoo

Bertie
One of the mice that the Swiss woman was scared of.

In the middle of nowhere
Our camp for the night after moving from the bedouin area.

View from the top
Just some of the smaller mountains in Oman.