Boogerbun

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Geo: 55.9503, -3.18761

On the plane to Edinburgh, while I was eating my Clif bar, I thought how it was such a relief not to have to attempt communication in another language. Since Ireland in 2011, it's been Germany/Austria/Switzerland, Belgium & Holland, France, and Bulgaria, for all of which I tried to learn a little of the language. Not that I didn't get by just fine in those countries, but I always felt a bit guilty about eventually having to default to English. So being in Great Britain is a little less stressful.

The City of Edinburgh recently extended its tramline all the way to the airport, so I bought a ticket and hopped on. I kept my eye on the map and the screen showing the upcoming stops, and also listened to the lady who would announce each stop. The first station after the airport was a park and ride. The next station, according to the lady, was … Boogerbun? Surely, that couldn't be right. I looked at the map: the next station was Gogarburn. And then the lady, who didn't have an especially Scottish accent, announced the next station again: Boogerbun. So much for feeling relieved about being in an English-speaking country!

I got off the tram at West End-Princes Street, and it was a straight shot, five-minute walk to my hotel, The Bonham. The cheeky guy at the front desk correctly guessed my identity. Apparently, there were only three of us Rickniks left to check in, and as the other two are a couple, it didn't really take Sherlock Holmes to figure me out.

I'm in room 307, which is up the lift, down the hall, through a set of doors, through another set of doors, across a grand staircase, through another set of doors and around the corner. I'm not even sure I'm still in the same building! My room looks toward Leith and the Firth of Forth, and what seems to be an old but restored church. The room is done up in shades of brown and maroon, which is far less depressing than it sounds. Instead of a pen there's a pencil, which strikes me as very Scottish: everyone walks away with pens, but no one walks away with pencils.

The group met at 4:00. Our guide is Martin Somethingpolish and our assistant guide is James Somethingscottish. Martin is actually from Wales, and he's been guiding for Rick Steves for 18 years. James has been in tourism for something like 35 years and is training to be a Rick Steves guide. Martin asked what we thought of the wind today (it's very cold and persistent). It's called a lazy wind because it's too lazy to go around you, so it goes right through you. Boy, does it! I should have remembered that the third coldest I've been was in Scotland in July. I brought a scarf but am wishing I brought an old pair of gloves. Oh, well. I'll live.

Martin is easy to understand, though he tends to be a bit quiet, and doesn't really sound like a Welshman. James is from the Isle of Lewis in the Hebrides and has a soothing Scottish burr. While we were all introducing ourselves, James and Martin did a little back-and-forth about men in kilts:

"What is worn under your kilt?"
"Nothing but what God intended."

"What have you under your kilt?"
"The future of Scotland!"

"What is worn under your kilt?"
"Nothing is worn; it's all in perfect working order."

"What have you under your kilt?"
"It's like the Loch Ness monster: you rarely see it, but when you do it gives you a big surprise!"

We took a chilly walk around the New Town, which consists mainly of Georgian architecture and nice straight streets. Martin told us all sorts of things about St. Andrew, King George, the First Minister for Scotland, but I'm so food-drunk right now that I'll be damned if I remember a bit of it. I do remember that he started teaching us window theory — i.e., that you can successfully date a building if you know something about its windows. So all of the windows we saw in the New Town were sash windows with flat horizontals. The flat bit tells us that we're looking at Georgian buildings. If the flat bit actually had little horns, then we're looking at Victorian. We did not see any with little horns; hopefully, he'll point some out tomorrow.

Dinner was at a pub called A Room in the West. We were banished to the basement … good thing, too, as we immediately became so noisy that I couldn't hear a blessed thing. I have the feeling that James, who sat across from me, was being very interesting, but I could only make out one word every six or seven seconds. I did manage to hear him talk about his home island, which is dying out. The old people will all be gone in ten years or so, and all the youngsters have already left. Now people of the middle generation, who have tried to make a go of it on the family land, are leaving. It's sad and reminds me of the stories we heard of the Blasket Islands in Ireland. To be fair to the leavers, island life sounds pretty bleak: the land isn't especially arable and isn't permitted to be sold, they regularly get winds of up to 150 miles per hour, and there's virtually nothing on the islands in the way of industry. It's no wonder the younger generation wants to strike out and live somewhere else.

For dinner I had chicken goujons for starters, salmon, beet and truffle risotto for the main course, and raspberry cranachan for dessert (raspberries layered between whipped sour cream). It was all very tasty but I am so full right now. That's what I meant by food-drunk.

The wi-fi doesn't want to work in my room, so I'll be schlepping down to the lobby to post this. Tomorrow, we conquer the Royal Mile.

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Photos

View from my window
Looking toward Leith and the Firth of Forth

Comments

[Mary]

I was thinking there are those who would question whether Scottish is an English language, and then you told the Boogerbun story. May be easier to understand Italian. Have you read any of the John Rebus books. Detective in Edinborough. I t
hink you'd like them. Also, the Jimmy Perez series--he's in Wales. Anyhow, lovely room, and thank you for schlepping to the post office for us! Ps, how did you remember all those jokes??

[Aunt Marianne]

I'm wondering how you remember all that you do in a day and the details. I'm so impressed. Also, did you check to see if your room was in the same building--sure didn't sound like it.

[Szyperski]

wow, the view from your room is gorgeous! Glad you have your scarf with you! By the way, you crack me up!! Eager to read your further adventures in Scottland!