Murderers and Thieves, Ghouls and Ghosts, Kings and Usurpers .

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Edinburgh Has Something For Everyone

Sorry Guys, this is a LONG one!!

From the moment of arrival, and even before because of the scenery, I loved Edinburgh (pronounced Ed-in-bra)!! With it’s Old City on one side towering up to the castle, and it’s New City on the other with monument lined streets, all separated by some beautiful gardens and parks and then surrounded by Calton Hill and Arthur’s Seat, I knew I was going to enjoy this city.

Kicking straight off, I took a "wee" stroll up the Royal Mile, which is the main street in the Old City. It's name is derived from the fact that it stretches from the castle to Holyrood Palace where the royals used to spend the Summer surrounded by gardens. It's actually a bit over a mile long so the term is now referred to as a Scottish Mile (around 1.13 miles). Taking in the sights of Edinburgh Castle, St Giles Cathedral, Mary Kings Close and a myriad of buildings dating back to the 16th Century. A lot of the buildings are covered in black soot still from when they used to burn coal for heat. This practise was only stopped during Queen Elizabeth II's reign.

It was only an hour before the castle closed so I headed next door instead to a place called Camera Obscura, deriving it's name from the series of lenses used to display an image onto a flat surface. It's an interesting place that deals in optical illusions, holograms and puzzles. Everyone knows how I like to mess with minds so this was right up my alley (or close as they're called here in Scotland). The only problem was that the "camera" uses sunlight to create the image, and as I was up there, the dreaded Scottish fog rolled in and by the time I left the building I couldn't see across the street.

The next morning, my first port of call was The Edinburgh Dungeon. Like the London Dungeon it gives you a insight into the history of the city and surrounds in an entertaining way. Covering everything from the Burke and Hare murders, Mary King's Close during the plague, the Sawney Bean family of cannibals and William Wallace, it shows some of the darker aspects of the city during more troubled times.

From there it was back up to the Royal Mile and all the way to the summit as I visited Edinburgh Castle. Rising above the city on a shaft of volcanic rock, the site dates back to the first and second Century, when it was a defensible place against the Roman invaders. The castle itself is a little more modern, coming from the 11th Century, and has been destroyed and added to over the years until the current structure standing today. Looking off the battlements to the North you can see out over the New City and up Calton Hill, where it's said to be a portal into the Faerie World (and Scottish Faeries are not the nice kind seemingly). This is also the site of the 1pm firing of the canon, and if you didn't know it was coming then you'd probably soil yourself... it's that loud!! With an audio-guide you retrace the steps of Kings and conquerors around the battlements and up to the inner castle where the National Memorial, Royal Palace and St Margaret's Chapel reside, taking in the Honours (Scotland's Crown Jewels) and the Stone Of Destiny before heading back. Unfortunately, Edinburgh throws this little party in August called The Military Tattoo, so the view to the East down the Royal Mile was blocked by enormous stands. I later found out that the stands get erected in about March and stay up until about the start of December so I wasn't the only one that had to put up with it.

I had heard about a free city tour that began just a little down the street so I decided to join on and see some sights. BEST DECISION EVER!!!! Sandamans , the tour operator, holds these tours all over Europe and gives excellent information in a entertaining way. This one went for about three and a half hours, covering all the Old City, and the guide works only for tips. Considering that most of the tours of the city only last about two hours and cost about eight pounds, this was a fantastic approach.

Starting at Tron Kirk (Kirk being Scottish for church), we headed up to the House Of Parliament to be given a brief history of how the land around Edinburgh became how it is. The House Of Parliament is a building with eleven stories though from the front it only has four. This is due to the steepness of the hill that Edinburgh sits on. Further up the Royal Mile and we stop at St Giles Cathedral, which is actually poorly named due to it being called a Cathedral even though the Scottish religion doesn't have Bishops. This Cathedral is also where all Scots are knighted so people like Sir Sean Connery have graced it's walls. Outside the Cathedral is Mercat Cross, a structure built in the medieval times for all proclamations to be given to the people from the city or any royal decrees. One such decree came from a little liked King of the Scots when he said that "For 24 hours, wine will flow from the Cross for all to enjoy", trying to buy popularity. The citizens made good use of the wine (being Scottish and liking a drink) but the plan backfired when the King was blamed for the hangovers caused. An interesting thing is that Mercat Cross is still used to proclaim new Kings and Queens and royal marriages, but the announcement is made three days after the event takes place in London due to tradition, being that it takes three days for news to travel from London to Edinburgh by horse. On the other side of the Cathedral is the Heart Of Edinburgh. The place where the people used to come pay their taxes used to have a heart painted on the door and people hated the place with such passion that they used to spit on the heart when walking passed. Where the Taxbooth once stood, a heart has been paved into the ground and people still walk passed and (legally) spit on it out of tradition. Gross if you ask me!

Continuing on up the Mile, we pass Mary King's Close, the alley that was blocked off during the plague and the people inside were left to die. A little further and we see one of the oldest buildings on the Mile. With both a thistle (emblem of Scotland) and a fleur de lys{?} (emblem of France) on it's roof, it signified the close ties of the two nations and their united hatred of the English. At the top of the Mile is of course the castle, that hasn't seen any action since 1745 when a group of 30 men managed to scale the North wall and take the castle during the night (although some say it was invaded again in 1996 when J.K. Rowlings did a book signing there). Next to the parade grounds in front of the castle is a tiny plaque set in the wall dedicated to all the witches burned at the stake at this spot. It mentions that some of them were witches that used their power only for good, though some were bad and destructive. Interesting considering you could be called a witch for having red hair or a birthmark and were found guilty by way of throwing you into the Nor' Loch with your thumbs tied to your toes. If you float, your hoisted out to be burned at the stake, if you sink then your innocent and they say sorry but your still dead. Funny.... at no point on the plaque does it say that they weren't witches and the plaque was only erected in the 1990's.

South from the castle and a little down the hill, we come to Victoria Street where William Burke and William Hare were enterprising young Englishmen. After moving to Edinburgh for jobs in construction, they found them selves out of work and poor. The medical department back then was only getting about one body a year to study so were offering big money for subjects to be given to science. These two fellows thought they could hurry the process along a little by taking the sick and elderly back to their apartment after getting them drunk and suffocating them. It all fell apart when they ran out of sick and elderly and started on prostitutes which, by coincidence, one of the doctors had seen the day before in perfectly good health.

At the end of Victoria Street is Grassmarket, the place that all the hangings used to happen. There is still a pub called The Last Drop operating since that time. This establishment was where the convicted were offered their last drop of whiskey before being hung at the gallows. One lady was said to be hung, proclaimed dead and carted away in a coffin to be buried when the gravediggers heard noises coming from inside. They took her back to the gallows but because she had been hung for her crimes and proclaimed dead they couldn't hang her again, double jeopardy. It is said that she was let go and every hanging after that she used to sit across from the gallows yelling that "It's ok boys. I've been there. It'll be fine." There is a mound on the spot of the gallows commemorating the Covenanters that died there during one period, without trial and sometimes up to one hundred in a day.

For all the Harry Potter buffs, you would know that the first two books were written by J.K. Rowlings in Edinburgh. She used to sit at the window of the second floor in a coffee shop, looking up at Edinburgh Castle and dreaming magic. She was allowed to sit here all day just for buying one coffee, which suited her down to a tee because in those days she was poorer than poor. Now.... she's the richest woman in Britain (richer then the Queen) and when the last two movies come out she will be the first female billionaire. Not bad for a rags to riches story if you ask me.

Greyfriars Kirk is considered to be the most haunted place in Scotland and one mausoleum in particular. The Black Mausoleum has been chained shut for the protection of the public (!!!) due to people being thrown against walls and all sorts going on inside. But it's not all doom and gloom. There's a story about Bobby the dog who was the faithful companion of a policeman, patrolling the streets with his master every night. Was he a big scary dog.... no. He was a Scottish Terrier. When his master finally passed away and was buried in Greyfriars Cemetery, Bobby stood vigil over the grave.... for 14 years, never venturing further than cemetery gates. People often ask "Why isn't he buried next to his master?" and the reason is because being a church cemetery and hallowed ground, you must be a Christian and a human to be buried there, sadly of which Bobby was at least not one of those.

On the other side of Greyfriars Kirk is what most people refer to as the "original Hogwarts". With the coffee shop only down the road that J.K. Rowlings sat in, George Heriot's School has some remarkable similarities to the fabled institution. Although not a castle, it does have spires and grand grounds surrounding it and with a little imagination you can almost see it. Put that together with the fact that a lot of the gravestones in Greyfriars Kirk bear names of the characters in the books and most come to the same conclusion.

Heading back to the Royal Mile we take in the story of the real Dr Jekyell and Mr Hyde. Seemingly there was a locksmith just off the Mile that came upon hard times. After noticing some rather nice belongings in a friends house one day, he made himself a key and robbed him at night. Over the next couple of weeks he managed to do the same without getting caught because there was no signs of entry. The police were stumped so the council decided to put an upstanding citizen in charge of an investigating committee. Who did they pick.... the locksmith. After another few weeks of always being close to capturing the thief but never actually succeeding, the council got a little angry and told him to hurry up. He planned one last big score on the Taxbooth when it's coffers were full and got a few others to join him. They were to go in every hour on the hour and take as much as they could carry out with them. The last bloke through the door must have been a little tipsy and ended up dropping his loot which brought the police running. The guy said he'd turn everyone in ans the locksmith got a knock on the door from the police letting him know that they'd caught one of them. Thinking he was going to get done he escaped to Amsterdam that night and was only caught and brought back after the police found he was sending letters back to his wife with a sender's address on the back. Not the brightest thief after all!!

The tour ends down in Princes Street Gardens, which is where the Nor' Loch used to be. When draining the loch to create the gardens it's said that hundreds of bodies were found with their thumbs tied to their toes from the witches' "trials". Now days the gardens are a beautiful area full of grassland, trees and excellent views of the castle.

The last story of the day was of the Scottish drive to be a free governed entity again. In the 13th Century, when King Edward (not sure which one) usurped Scotland after they couldn't decide who was their monarch, he took the Stone Of Destiny, a huge lump of rock that the Scots had crowned all their Kings on since the 10th Century, back to England and placed it under the coronation throne in Westminster Abbey. Inscribed on the stone are the words "Wherever this stone lies, so does the Might of Scotland" and so the two nations became intertwined under one ruler. The stone stayed there for the next 600 years until Christmas Eve in 1950, when a group of university students decided they wanted it back. Consisting of a history major, two friends and a female librarian, they set off to London in two cars and broke into Westminster Abbey. Now, the stone is huge and weighs a fair bit too, and you can imagine three uni students and a librarian trying to lift it. Inching closer to the door, they drop it and it cracks into two pieces, one piece being about two thirds the size of the original. Freaking out, the two friends grab the smaller piece, get out to the car and take off leaving the larger piece with the librarian and "mastermind". Laying a jacket on the floor and rolling the stone onto it they manage to get the stone to the car at about 5.45am. Being Christmas morning and with Christmas mass starting at 7am, they don't have much time to get out of there before someone shows up. Where's the keys to the car??? In the pocket of the jacket. Are they still there??? Of course not!! Tracing their steps from the throne to the door in the dark, looking for a set of keys, they're just about to give up and run for it when they kick them.... they were only 10 inches from the stone. On pure adrenaline, they get the stone into the boot and drive off as the first car rounds the corner. The driver of that car actually remembers seeing the car drive away before heading to the abbey and finding the doors broken and the stone gone. He makes a call to the police who call the royal guard and for the first time in 300 years the border between England and Scotland are closed. Knowing this would happen, the student drove South to Kent and found a field and buried the stone there before heading back to Scotland. On arriving back to Scotland, the other two friends who made it through ask where the other piece is and when finding that he buried the most important piece of Scottish history in a soggy field in Kent, told him to go get it as soon as it cools off. Arriving back in Kent a few weeks later, they returned to find a gypsy camp set up on the exact site the stone was buried, and gypsies are not the kind of people you tell to move without a bloody good reason. Telling them the story, they laughed with the Scots because of their hatred for the English and not only moved, but helped dig up the stone and so by returning it to Scotland. The students had a friend that was a stonemason thankfully and he managed to put it back together fairly well but having the Stone Of Destiny back in Scotland wasn't any good if they couldn't tell everyone about it. After a while they decided they should leave it at an small church just South of Edinburgh with a note saying sorry and hoped that they would be able to retain it in Scotland. The priest at the church got so scared that he would be blamed when he found it that he immediately rang the police and within twelve hours the stone was back under the coronation throne in Westminster Abbey. Along comes 1996 and an election in England that Labour needs the Scottish vote to retain power. He asks the Scots if he returns the stone will they look on him favourably?? The Stone Of Destiny is returned to Scotland with a lot of pomp and flair, the election comes around and labour loses in a landslide. The opposition offered Scotland something far more important.... the chance to govern themselves with their own parliament. And so in 1999, three years after the stone was returned to Scotland, the Scots power rested back in their own hands. Now remember the inscription on the stone... "Wherever this stone lies, so does the Might of Scotland". Freaky!!!

"Travel makes a wise man better, and a fool worse." - Thomas Fuller

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Comments

[amy denning]

arrrrrrrrghh!
omg edinborough castle is exactly how i remember it! not bad memory for almost 20 years ago!!! and those light tunnels look amazing i woulda loved that!!! good to see your having a blast! did you go check out where Billy Conolley grew up?