diarys of the reluctant traveller

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Let me let you into a little secret that travellers rarely tell people..not everyone who has been biten by the travel bug, welcomes its sting, i feel like i'm breaking the masonic code, that ive told you the ending of the da vinci code, that bruce willis is actually dead in the 6th sense, kevin spacey is the kaiser in usual suspects and that dumb and dumberer does not get better the more you watch it. but its true, ive always romantasied about travelling, discovering new parts of the world (apparently there are other towns on tenerife apart from play las americas) discovering new cultures and wearing beads to prove that ive found myself.

but dear reader if thats what i can call you, wanting and doing is very different, and herein lies the secret, some people dont like travelling, but feel they have to do it to tell their friends about it and one day put it on a CV so that a big corporate firm will give that job over the oxbridge educated son of a..who your competing against..thats why i teach by the way..

i've maybe misled you in a way, which is always a good thing to do in your first blog, travelling, going on holiday or leaving the radius of your family home could all be rolled into one for me.live away from home for uni? eh, madness, move out before you're 28? good god you're brave..and this sets the tone for me. i decided that travelling was going on holiday without family and let me tell you now, all the things i mentioned..especially the beads..made me nervous and feel like crying. tenerife with the boys, drinking all night sleeping all day, sometimes with a lady next to you..a bar tan..superb..well, i thought so..i went to tenerife for a week, after 4 days i came home, i didnt sleep with anyone, called home 3 times a day, didnt drink as i was scared and watched on as englands finest went about confirming all manner of sterotypes..and this is my first hint: when you go to the airport to fly home..lie. use every excuse you can, but above all, if you're a grown man;cry, cry like youve never cried before and that will get you on the next flight home with all manners of shame and an under cooked curry on you deliroiusly happy flight home to the warm embrace of everything thats familiar..and what you wanted to get away from..

i wont keep you any longer, but i wanted to explain to you, to tell you its alright, and to reveal the truth, that i have spent 16 years of my life travelling to try and get rid of that bug i got when i was 16 years old and a girl asked me for sex on the beach and i said i didnt like tequilla..

here are my tales
Laugh,mock, welcome
the reluctant traveller

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