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Published: February 6th 2009
Our latest dispatch was from gay Paree, where we blissfully ignored our lack of employment and touristed away. One thing I didn't mention is that we didn't buy a singel thing - and Mon is a female! Amaaaaazing. So the whole jobless thing has hit home in a big way. After realising that post-taxes, we were worth all of 12 euros (about 300 quid), austerity measures were put in place. Our draconian budget involves cutting out all food-related outings. It really works! Not only do you save money, you lose weight! Seriously, look at your bank balance and you'll see that all the 'outs' are to do with kebabs etc.
It's sort of working - we still haven't been kicked out of the flat, and we can still eat, albeit at home. Interestingly, one expense we're not looking forward to cutting out is the gym! Let me explain. In the beginning, there was warmth and sunshine, we walked and ran happily upon the earth, taking pleasure in nature's bounty. And then July ended, plunging us into darkness. This is the thing - if you want exercise, you gotta have light. The only place with light and exercise is the gym.
Who was supporting...
Don McGlashan. He's actually written quite a few songs, dontchano...
- we joined, it's expensive but we kinda like the classes. Most importantly, it contributes to our carefully crafted illusion of routine. Being a bum means tough sacrifices, like foregoing the use of alarm clocks. But you do lose the sense of stability that comes with a job. Thus the gym is a useful way to remind us that there is a world out there that relies on order, momentum, and watches.
Looking for work and reading occupy some time, as does the ant-farm. Unfortunately, we don't actually have an ant-farm, we can't afford it. Indeed, a now-favourite saying is 'when we get jobs, we'll...' followed some unutterable delight, like 'buy milk'.
People, it's true - unemployment sucks. Especially when you can't get on the dole! However, I've been reading about other people who are worse off - one guy had his pancreas repossessed! No longer will he be able to, um... right. We have our down days and our good days. Mum and Dad have been wonderful at having us around and feeding us as well as indulging in trips to the Cotswolds. Nice pubs out there. That's really us - food, rent, and the occasional beer paid for
by wonderful friends and family. I have kept myself amused by indulging my hippie side, doing more stuff for Afghan Action (buy a carpet at once!), as well as doing some translating for another organisation. We get regular phone calls, but we're back to hating recruiters and just wanting a bloody job! On a chirpier note, I will hopefully be watching the Italians dismantle a hapless England at Twickers tomorrow.
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