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Beer Harbour
Place's name is perfect !29th May - 31st May 2004
Well, last weekend I decided, it being a long weekend, that I just did not want to stay at home. So I packed the car, fetched Colly and we headed for the hills. Took the map book and Col did the navigating bit, and we went thru Dorset, Devon and down to the coast, and back again in 3 days.
No planning on where we were going, just see where the road takes us. We packed the car, with full intentions of sleeping in GG to save on money.
The only rule, we stay off the major roads to avoid traffic, and see the countryside. All the little white roads on the map, in other words, strip roads and country lanes!
All in all 430 miles travelled in 2 half days.
We planned on leaving at 6am from Col, but, well, the bed was snug and Colly snores, so I needed to catch up on my sleep! I think we eventually pulled out at 9am, and headed for the New Forest areas. In no time we were there, and our first sight was 2 forest ponies right on the roadside, waiting for us
Beer Harbour
Down on the rocky beach. to cuddle them. One was so bold as to stick his whole head in the window, scrabbling around in the packets of stuff at Col's feet.
Guess you could say the "Don't feed the animals" sign has been systematically ignored by the general members of the common public!
Said pony, on getting nothing from these 2 members of public, proceeded to stand in front of the car and wipe his / her snotty nose all over my bonnet and windscreen! Bet if it could talk it would have said something along the lines of "Feed me, you cow, or next thing I do is reverse up to the car and do the same thing..."
We took a walk, petted the ponies, I itched and scratched and sneezed (allergic to horses, did you know!) and jolly near got my photo taken by Col taking a tinkle behind a Rhododendron! Lucky for me, the camera decided not to work that time. Hope it was not the view that frightened it!
By the way, did you happen to know that Rhododendrons are amazingly pretty, considered invasive weeds almost in the countryside, and in their wild state, are only purple or white? Just
Boot Bedroom
Well - not comefort in style, but loads cheaper than a B&B .. thought I would throw in some local knowledge there for you....
We wended our way thru New Forest, totally awe struck with the beauty and peace of the place. No wonder kings of old decreed it was NOT for the common unwashed masses. After living in the city jungle for a while, the soul cried out for nature, peace and birdsong - well you get plenty of that here. We were lucky enough to spot a deer in the woods, which stood and stared at us for a while before deciding to leg it off into the undergrowth. It was an overgrown version of Bambi, spots and all.
We passed thru cute stone villages and towns with names like Puddletown, Cold Harbour and Three Legged Cross.
First night, we need somewhere off the beaten track to sleep, where people wont see us. So, luckily we find a wide sort of firebreak between 2 farms, nice and green etc. Go down it, and tractors etc have left bad ruts, so drive very carefully, cos some of those things are like bleeding cavities, man. We get under a nice big oak tree, go for a walk around, and come back.
Bunny Ears
Coffee stop - firsr requirement of each day! Settle in, have dinner (cold chicken again!) suck on a bottle of cherry brandy and relax a bit. Col say, I can feel someone looking at me, we peek out, and lo - about 20 cows with little yellow earrings are literally stretching their necks over the hedgerow to see who is there!! It was too funny for words!
Next morning, around 9am, yes, we slept late - out and about around the car. The badger and various wildlife forms have taken away the bread I scattered for them, cows have moved along just leaving their rather strong odour behind. Decide time for bath; so out with the wet wipes, kit off, and toosh in the fresh morning breeze, proceed to perform morning ablutions.
I have to tell you, it is rather refreshing, doing that out in nature, with nothing but cows, trees grass and the odd bird for company.
Well, all done and dusted, brushed our teeth with mouthwash and a toothbrush, we felt ready to take on the day. I navigated out from under the tree, and started down the gap, but halfway down, miss-judged the distance of the left front fender to what was, previously, and
Wardour Castle
Or what is left of it - more accurately. unknown ditch alongside the hedgerow.
GG dropped her front paw in there, and damn if we could not get it out!!
Col and I began moving mounds of dirt and rocks to pack under the wheel, an all G did was spin her paw around, to absolutely no effect! Col looked under GG, no, she was not sitting on her sump, looked free and clear - so why? Now, you have to realise, GG is front wheel drive, and now, literally rendered one-legged, with the engine up front, she was just throwing a bloody fit and refusing to budge!
After about 15 minutes of damaging my fresh nail polish, getting scratched on the nearby bramble and swearing at GG, along comes a trusty farmer, his wife and dog. Col and I both immediately said, "Chips!" and thought of running and hiding, then we thought how ridiculous that was! We just thanked all the powers that be they had not woken up earlier and caught us taking a wet wipe bath with our bare asses to the sun!
Anyway, said farmer tried to lift GG whilst I gently rev her in reverse, to no discernable effect, other than another
Mum and Foal
New Forest Ponies . wheelspin. Along comes another farmer, goodie - 2 men, a car and a well versed driver - surely now GG will come out the bloody ditch! Fat chance!
Farmer number one, now known as Brian, say, me go fetch man in tractor! Good idea, we says, since it has now begun to rain in the traditional English style of something between a heavy drizzle and a smoking downpour...
Off he goes, throwing over his shoulder - don't know how long I will be. Ugh!!! Great, as far as Dorset we get, sit in a bleeding ditch for the rest of the holiday, and spend all night with GG firmly hanging one paw into a ditch! NOT my idea of a great camping weekend...
To Brain's credit it was only about 20 mins later he arrived in his little beaten up car, with a farmer training behind in a mucking fonster of a tractor! I swear, the darn things tyres were taller than me, and when he put his foot on the gas, the thing belched, it did not growl or roar!!
Said tractor driver (with cute rosy cheeks!) proceeded to ride all over the ruts, ditches and cavities like
Chesil Bay
Them rocks instead of breach sand they were absolutely nothing, until neatly positioned behind GG. Then, with an extremely gently motion, pulled GG backwards out the ditch.
Now, never let it be said these farmers are rough and ready, because this one proved to be kind and gentle, and GG did not complain, scrape sump or any other parts of body at all!
I was incredibly impressed. Although not so much when I dished out a tenner to each farmer in way of thanks and compensation! Bit of an expensive ditch dump, that was, twenty quid's worth!
Well, off we went on our merry way, moo-ing like kids at the cows we passed, (screamingly happy to be on the road again!) and oohing and aahing at the magnificent countryside. Have to say, Dorset is fantastic. Col broke out the map and steered us to Evershot, which was in the process of having a little fair. Goodie, could have murdered the next farmer for a cup of coffee, even if they are helpful and pull you out of ditches! Not much in the way of things to look at for the fair, true small village stuff, but Col did manage to throw a kid in the
stocks with a couple of wet sponges, paying a pound for the privilege!
Off to Lyme Regis - cos that is where I heard you can walk the beach and pick up your very own prehistoric fossil. Well, have to admit, after all the peace and quiet of the countryside, Lyme with all the Tommy tourists was just a tad irritating! No parking (naturally) and could not find the road to the beach either! Hell, signposts are not the nations strong point!
Gave it a miss and hit the beach right next door, Chessil, and whoopee - parking and beach and all.... off scrabbling in the shale and found my own fossil, whilst colly sat on the beach thinking this was the most stupid thing she had ever heard of! Destroying the area, digging up dead things that have been there so long they are now stone!
We got our feet wet in the sea, rather chilly it was, and then picnic'd on cold chicken, pork pie and mayonnaise (again!) Well, I don't cook, and I bought 3 cooked chickens cos we were away for 3 days - that is the way I budget. Turned out to be too
Seaton Cliff
View of the cliffs and sea. many chickens, but hey, we did not go hungry!
Off again to the town of Beer, just to see it and have a beer! I mean, you just have to! Frankly, thought we would drive thru acres and acres of hops being grown, but na - just Devon rolling hills and dense wooded land. Beer is cute, fishing village set in some seriously steep sided coastline. Just the walk out of the car park and back was enough to give me a fear of heights for life! I even had to walk backwards to get up the hill.... yes, with a ciggy in my hand, of course!
The fishing boats were coming in, on a pebble beach and it was fun seeing them being winched up the shore. Yip, winch baby, I told you it was steep there, even the shore is at a 45 deg angle! Unlike I am used to, gently beaching a craft on the banks, these chaps line the under carriage of said craft with metal. Sit just off shore, rev the motor until fumes and smoke billow out its tail, and then gun for the bank with gusto! Seems to be the way you
Forest Lane
Where we wandered - and nearly got stuck have to do it on pebbles (rocks as Col calls them!)
Must be a grip thing.
Could have done with some of those pebble-rocks to get GG out the ditch earlier!
Left the coast at 8pm because we needed to find a place to sleep, and I wanted daylight so I could
check for ditches this time! Col guided us thru some seriously narrow lanes, most definitely single traffic, to a place called Blackbury Camp. Grand spot to sleep over, besides an Iron Age encampment and some lovely woods surrounding us. 2 other vehicles chose the same spot, despite the national parks sign saying No Overnight Camping. We figured if they can, we can! And if someone official comes along, we just play like we don't speak English - we are Polish or something!
Only trouble with Blackbury was we were severely restricted in our morning ablutions the next day! No wet wipe bath with being butt naked in the sun this time round! Frighten the locals!
Well, the next morning we looked at the map, realised how far we had gone, and thought it time to head for home. Next stop was higher up in Devon, for
Toe Ring Jam
Two girls - a car - wide open country spaces - mad sense of humour - makes for fun times traditional English Cream tea, the thick clotted kind you have to kick off the teaspoon with a takkie! Bargain, darlings! One tea, 2 home baked scones, lashings of home made strawberry jam, takkies full of thick cream, and a hunk of carrot cake to go with it! Bleeding hell, no wonder they are the sizes of houses down there! And for a measly £3,50.... wont get rich that way for sure!
Sticking to secondary roads all the way, we managed to avoid heavy traffic, and I dropped Col off at home around 5pm that night, wended my way on home, and then had to face unpacking the car! Ugh!
But, it was all worth it.
Next trip planned- Peak Districts in mid August when the heather is in full bloom!!
But for that, I have to hike up the mountain! Well, plenty of ciggy breaks can see that one coming!
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