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Published: February 4th 2009
Moston Town
Lets the hell of Dodge CityLets get ready to Rumble
I sat in the front room of our house, I was eager to get on the road again. Everything was set; the plan was a good one (on paper)
A taxi to the Chorlton Street Coach Station, coach to Luton Airport, taxi to the Travelogue for overnight stay. Taxi to airport next morning for our 1pm flight to Kiev, then another overnight stay at Marina’s Auntie’s apartment, and then we take an overnight coach to Chisinau. Easy hey?
The original plan was to take a coach at 3:55am to avoid the overnight stay in Luton but a week before the journey; we decided to the spent the night in Luton and so we would be bright and breezy for our flight. I got on the phone to National express and explained that we wanted to travel a day early and for him to change our tickets. He was very helpful man, and I was very impressed with his customer service. The ticket change was bit complicated as Marina and Lisa (our lovely 2 year child) are on a separate ticket as they are spending an extra 3 weeks in Moldova. After 20 minutes it
was all sorted out and he gave me the new codes for the tickets and he only charged me £5, so I was well pleased.
Take the National Express when your life is a mess
We arrived at the coach station early and already there was a big queue for our coach, the coach arrived late as normal for National Express.
Marina and Lisa got on first and found a good seat; I put the buggy and our big orange suitcase (see previous blog) in the luggage store. I showed the driver our E-tickets with the new codes on and took my seat. He checked them against the list he had, there appeared to be a problem with them. He only had my new code on his list and not Marina and Lisa. I explained to him that I rang up a few days ago and changed the times and days we were travelling on. It was no good, I was told to see the man at the info desk, I told Marina not to worry and I would sort out this misunderstanding. The man at the info desk checked the computer and said “Computer says No” well
The Return of the Orange One
Last time it went travelling with me i did not see it for a 4 days to Marina and Lisa it did. The very (un) helpful telephone operator had cocked things up and not altered my wife’s ticket. I was booked on this coach but they were not. The man at the desk now referred me to the ticket kiosk. With a heavy heart and worried frown I marched to the booth, I pushed in the queue and slipped my E-tickets under and I explained to man behind the glass what just happen. He tapped away on his computer and told me the bad news that the coach was full and my wife could not travel on it. I was furious and probably saying things like “I don’t believe it” and “unbelievable. He said then I can get you on the 12pm coach but I will have to charge you £23.50 for the change of ticket. “What?” I stammered I was gobsmacked. I felt like banging my head on the desk (Basil Fawlty style). Ok I said calming down, I going to have to pay it. “Before we sort things out, let’s get your wife and luggage off the coach”. I got back on the coach, and gave Marina the bad news, that this was going
to be the shortest journey she was ever going to make. Then I grabbed the buggy and the orange suitcase and followed him back to the kiosk. He printed off our new tickets and explained that we would now have to change in London rather Milton Keynes. Then amazingly he said “so you don’t think we are so bad, I will only charge you £5 for the ticket change. I smiled and thanked him, he was a decent guy and collected our tickets and went and found Marina.
London Loves
We got on the 12pm coach on time and told Marina that see always wanted to see some of London and now was her chance. We reached London at around 5pm and it was dark, so Marina could not see much.
We had an hour and half wait for the connection to Luton. The coach stop was on the main road, so walked there to check things and luckily enough there was Coach parked up that was going to Luton Airport. The coach was going in 10 minutes, we boarded gleefully. A few passengers got on and sat down, I relaxed and I even took off my warm
cardigan which I got especially for freezing temperatures of the Ukraine. “Hey Marina, looks like we will make the hotel in time for “You’ve Been framed”, (Marina’s favourite program) the traffic near the coach station was heavy with Christmas shoppers and rush hour commuters.
The coach had driven no more than 100 yards, when he had to stop as he hit another coach that was parked up. The driver off got off and went to speak with the other driver, our coach was ok, and I think he had just clipped the stationary one. The driver stood outside for an age yapping on his mobile reporting the accident back to base. So after about 30 minutes we were moving again. We drove about another 100 yards, when unbelievably the coach crashed again. This time it was more serious, one of the large side mirrors had been damage so badly that he could not carry on with the Journey. So more yapping on his phone and more waiting around. Then he drove to a bus stop and parked up.
He spoke on the microphone “Could everyone please exit the coach and get on the one parked in front.”
So we climbed off the coach again, I grabbed the buggy and the Orange suitcase from the luggage store and we got on the other packed coach.
We had been driving for about 10 minutes I realised I had left my nice warm cardigan on the other coach, damn and blast!
Luton
After an incident free journey to Luton airport, we took a Taxi to the Travelogue, bloody black cab ripped us off £12. We checked in and went to our room, I swiped the door and stormed in to the room I was just about to dive on the bed and lie flat out, when I noticed clothes scatted around, eh? I was knocked for six. We were obviously in someone’s room. So it was back down to reception and sort out the problem. So we got another swipe card and another room, this time it was fine. We were both staving so we sent to the restaurant, I made the ordered and sat down, they had a big screen TV, I got the waiter to change the channel just in time for “You’ve Been Framed” we toasted our expensive Budweiser, and laughed about how embarrassing
it would have been if the person/persons was in the room and doing something that people only do behind close doors.
We Have Lift off
The next morning we set of bright and early for our 1pm flight, I flagged a taxi outside the travelogue (£7) after arriving at the airport we had a mega expensive full English breakfast.
After checking in we found a bar with a TV and were just in time for the final of the world club champions. I sat and drank a coffee and preyed it would not go to extra-time. We won the game easily even after going down to ten men when Vidic was sent off, I boarded our flight in the safe knowledge that Manchester United were now Champions of the World.
The Wizz-air flight was on time and fine except that if you wanted to buy: a bottle of water, a small back of Pringles, a very small sandwich (cheese and ham) it would cost £2.50 (per item), a complete rip off, I suppose this how these budget flights make their money.
Nine Below Zero
Touchdown in Kiev and all goes smooth; we collect our Orange suitcase
and exited the terminal and there was Marina’s auntie waiting for us.
The weather in Kiev is freezing cold, minus 9 below zero, they whisked us away to there apartment, which was quite close to the airport but miles from the down town.
It may have been cold outside but it was warm and cosy in her apartment, after meeting her son and husband, we had a lovely meal, with lashings of Vodka and strong lager.
No Chickens in Kiev
The next morning after a good breakfast we walked out into the freezing cold into a jungle concrete tower block of flats and made our way somehow to the Metro station. After a lengthy journey, we had to change trains a couple of times we emerged slap bang in the centre. Lisa, Marina and I had our photos taking with Father Christmas; we had a meal in a buffet style place. It was too cold for walking around to see the sights (I have already been in Kiev 5 years ago with Jeff) it was only 3pm but it was getting dark so we headed back to the apartment to rest before our epic bus journey to
Chisinau. Kiev Bus station is basic to say the least it makes Birmingham Digbeth look like super high tech state of art building.
Dont tell them your Sane
As I stood shivering on the embankment waiting for our Coach to pull up I got a call from Robert (the most craziest person I know) “Hi Kris it’s me Robert”
“Hi Robert”
“Can I have your address? I want to send you a Christmas card”
“Rob, I am in Kiev, at a coach station”
“Oh….can I have your address anyway”
“Robert, what is the point in sending me a card, when I am not going to be home until 5th of January”
“Can I have Jeff address then”
“I don’t know it; you will have to ring him”
“Ok, hey much is this call costing to me”
“It’s costing you nothing as I have roaming”
Well thanks to Robert’s crazy phone call he managed to use up most of my credit.
Snow Joke
We set off at 9.45 pm into the snowy night, it was a horrid journey, there is no toilet on board so the coach stopped many times and much melting of snow
of was done. It is virtually impossible to sleep (unless you are Lisa of course who slept most of the way) Just when I thought I had got comfortable enough to sleep, my brain would scream at me. “Deep vain thrombosis” and I would have to adjust my legs.
At around about 4am we hit the Ukraine border post, the lights comes on and a solider walks on and collects all the passports and disappears into a hut, where I assume they are studied with Sherlock Holmes like scrutiny under infra red lights. This process takes never less than one hour, the only person allowed off the coach is the driver, who smokes with wild abandonment and I am sure is being watched in envy by all the smokers on board.
Eyes Down For a Full House
After one hour, passports have been returned and we are on our way, well for about 100 yards and then we were at the Moldovan Border Post. Same routine, Bright light comes on, solider climbs on and takes our passport, and we all settle back for another boring wait. After about 1 hour of waiting, our passports were returned us but
we still had to wait, presently more people started boarding our coach. I had an empty seat next to me, while Marina and Lisa sat in front, but no more. The coach became so full that people were standing in the aisle way, soon the coach was jam packed.
Who were these people? Why were they getting on at the border?
Marina turned around and explained to me the Mystery, the Coach which left Kiev at 7:30pm, had been stopped at the border and the driver had been found out for smuggling (smuggling what? I don’t know cos we never found out) the poor passenger had been stranded at the border for the last 4 hours.
I was thanking my lucky stars that we did not take this coach as I would have been ever more seriously pissed off than I was.
A taste of Aggro
At around about 7am we finally cleared the border, 3 f**king hours we had been stuck at border posts, oh the joy of travelling in Eastern Europe.
As the sun rose, I gazed across the snow white fields and put on my Mp3 player, Big Country’s melancholy song “Chance”
boomed into my ears
“Oh lord where did the feeling go”
“Oh lord I never felt so low”
These echoed in mind, I was shattered with lack of sleep. We arrive at the Coach station at 8.am, I got off the coach first, and I grabbed our orange suitcase but it slipped from grasp and fell into a puddle of melting black snow…shit-shit -shit.
Marina’s parents should have been waiting for us but due to a mix in the time of our arrival they were about 40 minutes away. We retreated to the waiting room, Lisa had now woken up and crying the place down, I sat there tired and hungry, I told Marina that it was her fault that we just endured this nightmare journey, and I if I had my way we would have travelled by train. Soon we were shouting at each other, much to the amusement of the other people. I put my head in my hands and sulked for five minutes, I ate a couple of biscuits and felt a little better, I apologised to Marina for saying what I said and we made up.
Soon we were collected from the station we
drove to Marina’s parent’s farm which is located about 45km from Chisinau. I ate a sandwich and climbed into a very nice warm comfy bed and I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.
I slept for about 5 hours and when I woke up Marina was besides me. I woke her and told her
“Hey I just had a nightmare, we were on this coach and then we were on another coach, and then we were another coach…………..
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Natalie
non-member comment
Ha ha
I take it the journey home was not as eventful???