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Published: February 16th 2010
You know you are a Swiss Au-pair when...
* you know how to 'properly' tuck mittens into coats
* you've picked up some bad gramatical habits instead of teaching the kids some good ones
* you can navigate the roads and roundabouts in zurich and find the place you need to go to...even if it happens by accident
* you wonder if you'll ever see sunshine again
* you can... carry a months worth of supplies up a snowy mountain side in the pitch dark to stay for 36 hours and then carry it all back down and load it into the car again
* you find yourself with extra charges...neighbours, dogs, etc.
* you think that the house you live in probably has the best view in the world
* you watch WAY too much tv online
* you get REALLY excited to hear other people speaking english in public
* your kids try to give you 'german lessons' that are more confusing than helpful since they decided that teaching you swiss german would be more fun.
* you somehow end up on class trips with your kids?
* you break up your year into 'time off' times
* you're REALLY good at playing EVERYTHING
* you remember who doesn't like what foods to avoid meltdowns at mealtimes
* you give good hugs that make tears go away
* your paycheck never lasts long enough
*you're okay with working late nights and early mornings
* you can magically fix the nintendo, wii, dvd player, etc. and s...uddenly it's like you're god
* you're good at brainstorming for school projects
* you can't quite figure out how hurricanes ONLY hit certain parts of the house where the children have been..but clean up the wreckage anyways
* you can make playdough AND papermache
*you know where everything is, ALWAYS..or else you must find it as quickly as humanly possible
*you have a purse full of 'kid' things (sugar free gum, kleenex, a juice box or two)
* you work more hours than you signed up for
* you love the kids to bits even though you'd never be an aupair EVER again
* you've put an entire families health (mental & physical), safety and wellness above your own
*you could quit your dayjob and become a private investigator for figuring out what they get into while you leave the room for quite literally one minute
* you know that to get them to stop complaining about a healthy snack afterschool you only have to strategically place a couple of chocolates or biscuits on a fruit pl...ate..and they won't question your motives anymoe
* you can arrange activities to occupy between 1 & 18 children for an unknown time frame with five minutes notice or less
* you can nap at the drop of a hat to compensate for a lack of sleep
* you make lists. and lots of them.
* you know that messes are okay..as long as your boss doesn't have to see them
* you can convince a child that there aren't monsters under the bed, nor are robbers going to steal them in the middle of the night
* you know the difference between a REAL tummy ache and an 'i don't wanna do something' tummy ache
* you have dance parties at the drop of a hat, anywhere..anytime..and its awesome.
*you've ironed for more than four hours straight (while on the phone THE ENTIRE TIME)
*you're not prettier or more put together than the mother you work for (and that's the way it should be..lest you want to be in ww3)
*you have the qualifications to be a chauffeur, short hand cook, teacher, referee, maid, gardener, play... date, lifeguard, etc.
*you start to anticipates spills and messes and just keep a wet cloth beside you at all times
*you know that the last bite of your sandwich will probably be gobbled up by one of the munchkins
* you're able to put together new furniture or figure out how new toys are assembled and put them together effortlessly, as if the instructions aren't in another language and you're not completely baffled
* you know how to do french braids or put up pony tails while child is brushing their teeth and screaming simultaneously
* you become"'THE MOST FAVOURITE BABYSITTER EVER!" when you turn up the "good song" while driving somewhere
*you wake up on a weekday with a headache from "too little sleep" to get grumpy children ready for school...while wondering how you got home..and why your room smells like mcdonalds
*you've ever resided in a playroom
*you've perfected the art of 'smiling and faking it' while being repeatedly scrutinized for the most ridi...culous things
*you can scrape together a meal for picky children when there is nothing really left in the house
*you're old enough to be responsible..but young enough to not value yourself and speak up for your rights
*you read stories with voices for different characters out of habit
*you've got playdate phone numbers on your mobiles speed dial, or better yet, know the numbers by heart
*you've got your charges convinced that you know EVERYTHING in the ENTIRE WORLD.
*you can pack and unpack suitcases in your sleep
*you're good at coming up with spontaneous baking challenges
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