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Published: April 11th 2013
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The day dawned...... the LAST day of walking the Camino de Santiago - Camino Frances - .... it was hard to get my head around it really... We set off early - at the same time as 'the texans' though we left them behind after a few kms .... the track was clear at first , and through lovely forests - but became more and more busy, with dozens of pilgrims both before and after us.....The closer we came - the more despondent I felt....There is a point about 5km out of Santiago called Mt De Gozo - and is traditionally the point where pilgrims could first sight Santiago and the Cathedral... I dont know if it's because of contemporary building etc but I couldnt see the Cathedral - though Santiago itself was in plain sight.... Diane and I were wandering around, taking pictures from and of the hilltop where there is a foursided monument with a representative picture on each side...... Suddenly I felt really teary..... there was no feelings of joy or pleasure at the coming reaching of a goal.... I just felt terribly terribly sad that this amazing time was about to end... I felt vulnerable and a
bit silly being out in public, in the open and wanting to cry, so I just sort of squashed it down really....
After getting our Credentiale stamped in the old church (and I think by some guy who was aiming to go to the Paralympics - and had devised his own stamp to use for a 1 Euro donation - enterprising I guess) we left Mt De Gozo and continued to walk towards Santiago....It was very strange.... one minute I felt detached and just devoid of emotion and the next I felt deeply sad and also petulant towards light hearted pilgrims walking the same path.....I swung between these two variations for the remainder of the walk into Santiago.....
We walked past the airport..... knowing that soon we'd be on one of the planes flying out of the Santiago and came again to a city world of shops and busy roads and street lights and noise and bustle ...Diane and I - not needing to say anything - shared a mute understanding of how horrible it seemed.....we walked mostly in silence and almost compulsively really because it was as if we were in a river of pilgrims, swept up
with them and almost compelled to go on until the end - even if against our own wills....when we were totally within the city centre and following the signs to Santiago Cathedral we delayed going in - not only to postpone that final moment but also because we'd had little to eat - no rest stops apart from at Mt Gozo and were feeling tired by the 20 km walk in ..... Had the usual cafe con leche and possibly the world's worst tasting choc croissant ...
Finally we could delay it no further and we set off for the Cathedral....... we walked at the back of it first off and saw groups of Nuns and Priests gathering and chatting ...... to get to the square requires walking down steps through a stone walkway/entrance - and there was a guy there in traditional dress ( I assume it was) playing 'bagpipes' - well the Spanish equivalent which sounds very similar.... that was kind of lovely but I wasnt endeared to him because he turned his back when someone wanted to take a pic of him playing and had not 'donated ' a coin.....We turned the corner... and walked into
the square... there were hundreds of pilgrims/tourists .....The Cathedral is an imposing building with 2 flights of steps leading up to the entrance..... we didnt go in immediately .... we wandered around looking and hoping to see folk we had started the journey with 800km back.... to no avail....it's hard to express how... aimless..... and flat and sad I was feeling..... there was no sense of joy of completion, celebration of a goal attained ...nada, nothing! We went and sat towards the back of the square for a while just watching others come in to the square and seeing their sometimes obvious delight and happiness just made me feel even more distant and disconnected...
Eventually we sort of shrugged shoulders and thought we may as well go inside Santago Cathedral ...A service had begun at midday and it was now just past 1 pm...... we walked up the steps.... and into the Cathedral....
We walked through the huge doors and I was thinking how many millions of pilgrims over the years had also passed through..inside the service was in progress ..... we were hoping to see the Botafumeiro in action.... ( this
is a large thurible - sort of a large ornate enclosed urn - filled with burning incense and swung from a rope across the cathedral above the heads of the congregation... traditionally this was done because the pilgrims in days of yore weren't lucky enough to have the facilities/equipment/clothing we have now and by the time they reached the Cathedral they were pretty smelly apparently . So the Bortafumeiro was used as a symbol of cleansing ( in the same way 'smudging' is done in some traditional cultures) and also to cover up the whiffy odours emanating from the massed pilgrims... So - this is a fairly major tradition of the Camino completion and we wanted to experience it.....but unfortunately we didnt at this service..... but what WAS happening was a fairly major service of some sort as many many priests were gathered at the front of the church and they and the congregation were all singing ......I found that very moving and it was for me an adequate substitute for being smudged by incense right at that moment.... I managed to video that part of the service
If video doesnt play - try clicking at the top left on the underlined 'Santiago cathedral Hymn singing'
After we had wandered around the Cathedral, numbly looking for folk we had formed a connection with 'back there' and NOT seeing them we went outside again to the square.... here we DID see James and Ange - the Texans' and spent a little time doing pics with them..... They had a taxi organised to take them to a hotel about 3 km away and urged us to come also and book in there. We thanked them but refused as Diane and I both wanted to stay close to the Cathedral and the square ... and we walked around the corner and booked into a hotel that was v inexpensive (64 Euro for 2 nights....) After showering and changing we went back to the square to just..... hang out aimlessly really - we'd left the backpacks in the hotel room and felt sort of... wrong without them. Having the backpack kind of identifies you as a pilgrim - especially with the Camino shell tied to it ! and walking with just money camera and
passport etc in a little day pack just felt.... wrong...... We ended up going to a Tapas pace for something to eat - saw Americans Jonathon and Lindsay - discussed our low, flat feelings with them ...... Diane and I also 'interviewed' each other - hopefully I can include that here... but you'll have to excuse the sound quality - it was noisy in the retaurant - but you CAN hear us . Also apologies for the 'landscape' orientation of it - just lay down while you watch it lol ... - hope one of these links works !
After we'd eaten, drunk a bottle of wine and interviewed each other - we walked back to the hotel and our beds...... despondent....but still hoping we would catch up with a Canadian and a Swede....... maybe tomorrow...
I WAS going to make Santiago - arrival - the last entry.... but it doesnt feel
right to do so......will leave that to the NEXT blog entry - Santiago - departure.
Lindsay
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Flashbacks!
Jonathan and I were just celebrating our 1 yr anniversary of starting the Camino last weekend. So great to see this post. As grueling and challenging it was with the weather, I miss lots about our pilgrimage and friendly folks like you and Diane we would run into. It seems so long ago already. I feel kind of aimless this year, thinking I need to start getting my pack ready and get walking! Hope you and Diane are well!