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Europe » Spain » Canary Islands » Lanzarote
December 28th 2007
Published: September 30th 2017
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Sunrise on the ferry ride over to Playa Blanca on Lanzarote.
Geo: 28.9264, -13.7933

I had a horrible nightmare last night. I dreamed that a giant cockroach crawled into bed with me. I was terrified. But then it became a blissful dream - it turned out that it was a giant female Spanish cockroach. It began tenderly caressing me, gently nibbling on me with its mandibles, and whispering sweet nothings to me in a sexy, sultry, southern Spanish accent. But then it bit my head off.

These d@mn beds are so short in Spain! I couldn't even fit between the arms of the sofa bed - Ha took it instead for fear of B&H waking up to find my strangled, lifeless corpse in the living room.

We made some Serrano ham and Canarian cheese sandwiches for lunch later and headed out the door. It was a quiet walk to the ferry for Lanzarote. There wasn't any signage indicating where the ticket office was, so we ended up walking around for awhile before finding it. We cut it pretty close - we only got our tickets a few minutes before the ferry was scheduled to depart. There was a rather beautiful Spanish woman working at the ticket office. Hopefully this is a
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Picking up the rental car - Ha told us to "Make love to the camera", so that's what we did ...
sign of things to come in the Canaries! So far, I have only seen pasty-white people from the UK.

We arrived in Lanzarote, picked up our car, and immediately looked for a place for breakfast. The coffee was weak, and the anise-flavoured biscuit served alongside it was just as bad (soft and stale, maybe because of the humidity?).

Off to Mt. Timanfaya - it was very busy! There was a lineup of cars waiting to enter the park, then to pay, then to find a parking spot. The pre-recorded audio commentary offered on the included bus tour was pretty boring and caused me to doze off a few times. The volcanic landscape was neat, but nothing terribly special.

Next up was Caleta de Famara, a fairly secluded beach. It was a little difficult getting there - there were numerous dirt roads and not much signage. We just started driving towards where we thought the ocean was and eventually got there.

We ate our sandwiches there and nibbled on some tasty paprika potato chips. It was windy so we ended up with a lot of sand in our juice. After, we popped into the town of Haria for a
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Cafe Cortado. We had MANY of these during our time in the Canaries.
quick shot of caffeine (the quality seems to be slowly improving).

Mirador del Rio - designed by Lanzarote's most famous son, Cesar Manrique. He's got almost a God-like status amongst Lanzarote's people. This lookout looked like a super-spy's lair! Or maybe Dr. Evil's? Too cool - it was the ultimate bachelor pad, the kind of place that would magically make the clothing disappear of any woman that walked into it!

Next up was the Jameos de Agua, a pretty cool underground restaurant built into some caves. There were some other designer caves that we didn't have time to see. On the way back to the ferry, we stopped in the Cesar Manrique foundation. It was his former house and was built into a series of lava tubes.

After, we rushed back to the ferry. Upon arrival, we figured we had time to spare because of the lineup of cars waiting to board. But nope! The ferry left within 2 minutes of the scheduled departure time. Good thing it worked out for us because it was the last ferry of the night.

Dinner was at Cabana Asturiana, specializing in the food of the Asturias region of Spain.
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Ha went for the full English breakfast - it looked much better than my crepe. And nothing says healthy like French Fries first thing in the morning!
A piece of trivia - Asturias is the home to two-time Formula One world champion, Fernando Alonso. And though I've never been to Asturias, chances are that it's the home to countless beautiful Spanish women, as well!

We started with some cider - it's non-carbonated, so the typical Spanish method of serving it is to hold the glass as low as possible, and pour the bottle from as high as possible. There was some yummy garlic aioli served with some decent bread - crusty, crispy, and chewy. Bread is definitely better in the Canaries than the peninsula! I would have been happy just eating the bread for dinner.

Ben's getting a weird rash - like John and Mary in Spain! Maybe I'm the common link? We went to the pharmacy to get him something for it. Later on when Ben remarked that the pills had no effect, I wondered if I might have mistakenly asked for birth control pills ...

I noticed that "Muyeres" was written on the women's bathroom instead of "Mujeres". I wondered if it was a spelling mistake, or it just had a completely different spelling in Asturias?

Today was a long day. After,
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Ben and I went for the crepe with cheese, ham, tomato, and lettuce inside. I don't like lettuce in warm dishes because it simply wilts and loses its texture. It was a pretty average crepe. I guess you should go to France if you want good crepes!
I felt dirty like a backpacker - it's actually a pretty nice feeling! We had some gelato at a restaurant where the waiter told us that everything was "freshly made" on site. "What about the gelato?" "Uh ... it's imported directly from Italy so it's the best!" Nice try, buddy - you're lucky that I'll take any form of gelato right now! The Ferrero Rocher was only OK. He gave me a hard time for being cheap and only getting a small. It's because I had a plan to grab a second gelato from another place closer to the condo. Gelato is one thing I will NEVER cheap out on! He was actually a pretty funny guy - from Jersey in the UK, he had actually lived in BC for awhile.

The second gelato was Canarian banana - I guess it must be different or special from regular bananas? The gelato girl made it sound like it was something unique. I really couldn't tell the difference - I only knew that it was good. I really didn't want a second gelato - but my knee was hurting so badly that it was the only thing that could take my
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Sad, so sad - two engineers couldn't figure out how to get the gas pump to work.
pain away!


Additional photos below
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The barren volcanic landscape of Mt. Timanfaya.
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One of the camel caravan tours offered at Mt. Timanfaya.
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Ha and I both remarked that the devil's tail looked more like a squiggly piece of crap than an actual tail.
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Some volcanic crater. Blah.
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One of the tricks the park rangers do is shove a bush into this pit and watch it catch fire.
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Here, they pour a bucket of water down the hole and it shoots out like a geyser seconds earlier.
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Gimmicky restaurant - they grill all their meat using volcanic heat. Apparently it's not a very good place to eat.
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Does this sign mean there are bumps upcoming in the road, or a pair of large breasts? Tri would've liked this sign ...
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Tri would've liked this mountains because ... well ... they kind of resemble breasts.
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Caleta de Famara, unpacking our lunch.
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Cute pen. That's how my eyes look when I walk through the streets of Spain, gawking at the natural beauty.
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The amount of caffeine that Ben needs to survive back home is pretty crazy. Not being as readily accessible while driving around the island, he needed to pull over and take a nap. What is scary about the whole situation is when he starts yawning - he makes this crazy hissing noise, almost like a Maori Warrior tribe primal growl. It's difficult to describe ...
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View from the Mirador (lookout) del Rio. The actual lookout was more impressive than the views.
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Exterior of the lookout.
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Bizarre-looking plant. Reminded me of the cockroaches from our condo.


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