The Moscow I Never Knew

---

We set the alarm clock for 5AM and when I awoke I realized that I had a real problem with the big toe on my right foot. It hurt… a lot; but only when something touched it. It was red, slightly swollen and it did not like it when I put my red sneakers on. We caught a bite in the Lido, and I got a couple of cold-cut sandwiches just because I know how much it bothers Sharon; but, also because they are pretty good. But one thing was certain, I wasn’t going on any tour today wearing these red shoes. Back in the cabin a changed into a pair of Sketchers; which, at least solved the big toe problem constantly complaining and I thought, maybe I could survive today’s 17 hour tour after all.

We were in the first group dismissed from the World Stage staging area for tours; but, we were held up at the gangway. Local authorities had not yet cleared passengers for disembarking. It was over 30 minutes waiting in the hallway of Deck One before the line finally begin to move. I’m sure that you remember that classic commercial about sloths dressed as DMV clerks; well, that’s what the passport and immigration control line was like, one person at a time. We’d gotten in the line for Booth 31; but, had to restart in another line because of a computer problem. Watching them stamp the passport and four other pieces of paper as well was sort of like watching the sous chef methodically place each berry on the dessert dish last night just so. I guess it’s good to take pride in your work and to take the time to do every action perfectly, but give me a break. We made our way to the bus; and, of course somebody didn’t find their way to the bus. And so we waited. Eventually somebody did show up with some lame excuse. It’s going to be a long day, and now my left heel is beginning to hurt the way that it had during our walk about the red-light district in Amsterdam. And while my big toe wasn’t constantly hurting, any pressure at all on the side or top caused excruciating pain. Yes, it was going to be a very long day.

Once at the train station in St. Petersburg we were herded towards the platform. I was doing my best to keep up, and Sharon served as an intermediary keeping in touch with the main group. There were two tour guides wrangling us tourists, and one was bringing up the rear, so I really wasn’t in danger of losing contact with the leader. Still, that was a concern, especially in Russia. Prior to clearing security in the train station, our guides seem to momentarily abandon us. We later learned that they had in fact lost one in our group. The problem is, we are a group, with a group visa, and with a group train ticket. We finally did get approval to continue. Fortunately, we were Group 1, so we should be most likely to catch the train. We were told that these trains don’t wait for anyone. Well, as it turns out, that isn’t exactly true. As we got through security and onto the platform we heard and announcement in Russian and then repeated in English “Train 760 to Moscow departs in 5 minutes from Track 3”. Our guide was still moving us down the train to reach our car when the 2 minute announcement came. It seemed that we must have just got on the train in time. Most of the seats were taken when we entered; but, were directed to another section and found two seats together; but, we’d be travelling backwards all the way to Moscow. Then we spotted Group 2 from our ship (there were a total of 5 groups doing “Moscow in a Day by Train”); and, then we also heard the 5 minute announcement for our departure. I guess they play that announcement for each tour group as they clear security!

It was an uneventful journey to Moscow. They fed us a snack at 10AM; but, Sharon mostly stuck with her peanut butter crackers though she did eat the 3 small slices of turkey they provided. We both got a Coke, served lukewarm and without ice. I don’t know if it was the temperature, but the taste was off, it seemed weaker somehow, perhaps diluted, despite seeing it poured directly from a can into my glass. There were a couple of “one minute” stops and some three and one-half hours later we arrived at Leningrad Station in Moscow. There was much more walking and I struggled to keep up; but, I finally did get to the bus. This was the first time that anybody did an actual count of the people in Group 1 and wouldn’t you know: somebody was missing. There were some frantic calls, some rechecking the train-station, and lots of questions. How could this happen? The person did finally appear, having gotten separated from us in St. Petersburg and arriving on a different train (they seem to run quite frequently).

We had nice weather, about 65 degrees Fahrenheit and only slightly cloudy skies. We met our Moscow Tour Guide and her first announcement did not fall on happy ears. “Today we will not be visiting Red Square.” Terrific, if I had known this 8 hours earlier I might have decided to spare myself the ordeal of this all-day marathon. It seems that in combination with a 780-year anniversary of Moscow and the festivities and celebration that that entails, there is a public outdoor concert being held in Red Square and so tour groups can’t go there. I can understand an 800-year celebration; or, a 700-year celebration. For their 700 celebration there were seven wedding cake buildings erected about Moscow (grand columnar buildings with imposing facades and as seems to be common with Russian architecture, each pretty much identical to the others. Needless to say, I’m not a happy camper.

We caught a brief glimpse of St. Basil (in Red Square) but sped away, winding our way towards where we would be entering the Kremlin. We’d started to exit the bus, when our Moscow guide urgently called everyone back on the bus. She was communicating with us through the Whisperers that shed provided us. There was police activity ahead of us, and every thirty feet or so there seemed to be a security patrol person (most of them seemed to be still teenagers). We weren’t sure what was going on. Someone suggested that the bus wasn’t in a proper offloading zone. In the end, I think that we had a specific time to enter the Kremlin, and we were too early. We drove around a bit, and not too long later we wound back at the Kremlin. In after thought, I’m wondering why this time wasn’t used to have a nice Russian lunch. This time we all got out of the bus. She hadn’t explained that we wouldn’t see the bus again for six hours, or we might have opted to take some things with us (Like hand sanitizer, bottle of water, peanut butter crackers or Famous Amos chocolate chip cookies). We were in a garden like area just outside the Kremlin. Kremlin means fortress, and what the Kremlin is, is a massive fortified enclave containing many churches and iconic buildings of ancient Russia. The guide gave us one hour of free time where we could peruse the souvenir vendors if we chose; but, mainly this was an opportunity to use the public “Free WC”. There was no waiting in line for me, and it seemed a pretty decent rest room. Sharon had a much longer wait, and she was much less impressed with the accommodations. Fortunately, she didn’t need the spare toilet paper that she had the foresight to bring (but that is back on the bus).

After the hour of free time, our guide herded us to the line entering the Kremlin. It was a long slow moving line, people were cutting in front of us, including other tour groups (Tour Group 2 from our cruise ship was particularly aggressive. Sharon took some pride in cutting off the aggressive tour group leader from the rest of her group, and standing her ground. It was quite an operation to get all 28 people in group 1 to pass by the gate consecutively so that they could be counted on the group ticket. But we did it. Once inside the Kremlin we were on a natural hill and had a view of part of Red Square and St. Basil. There were many gold onion-shaped domed structures on several buildings all around us in what they call Cathedral Square in the Kremlin. We entered one of these, a cathedral, and our guide went on and on about the history. Our guide mentioned how Moscow was The Third Rome (and that there will never be a Fourth). The first Rome of course was in Italy and became the home of the Catholic Church. The second Rome was Constantinople, and gave rise to the Eastern Orthodox Catholicism. But Istanbul is now mostly under Islam. So Moscow is the Third Rome and home of the Russian Orthodox Church. She noted that this is where the Russians cam7e up with their title “Czar”; which is the Russianized version of Caesar. Our guide showed us a giant bronze bell that Catherine the Great had commissioned that weighed about 200 tons. It’s tolling was expected to be heard from 40 Kilometers away, but it still sits where it was cast. A fire burned down the foundry and when firefighters put out the blaze water caused the overheated bell to crack.

We then took a long walk to The Armory, now a museum housing items like the garments of kings and queens. Several floors of these were all that I could take, and I decided to go back and wait at the entrance. My feet were killing me. Sharon went a bit further; but, even she did not make it to the top floor where the Faberge Eggs are housed. I would have liked to see those; but, I would have liked to stand in Red Square too!

There was a lot of walking ahead of us when we got back to the train station. When we finally got to the security checkpoint and we needed to check our 28 people through the checkpoint, two had gone missing. If I can stay up with the group as it moved swiftly through the throng of weekend travelers; well, you know they didn’t fall behind. They decided to go on a “walk-about” not caring that everyone was held up and the guides beside themselves trying to get everyone safely on the train. Once we got on the platform we realized, we were actually early, more than one hour early. So there was plenty of time for a decent lunch. We had to stand forty-five minutes on the platform before the train showed up, and there was no place to sit. Then we had to walk half-the distance of the train to get to “our car”. And we can only sit in “our car”. Our dinner turned out not to be salmon, as promised, but were tough thick pieces of chicken meat smothered in a cream of chicken sauce. It was too tough for Sharon to cut, much less eat. Evidently, the trains don’t travel as fast at night as they do during the day, because the trip that took 3 and one-quarter hours this morning took 4 and one-half hours tonight. It was 1aM before we got back to our cabin.

If you’re considering taking the Moscow in a Day By Train tour, be sure you are prepared to go ten hours without food, and to do a lot of walking. And maybe you should be considering, not taking this tour. And if it’s a holiday, I guess you need to be prepared to eschew Red Square altogether.

---