Arrival in Moscow – our carriage awaits (well, a man with a van!!)

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‘I hate the rain’, I thought to myself as I ate my somewhat soggy Weetabix. I stared out of the kitchen window watching the rain dance off the garden path.

‘Do you realise…’ I started, turning to Roisin,‘ …it always rains on the day we start on one of our jaunts.’ Gesturing to the rain spotted window as if Roisin wasn’t aware of the weather situation!! ‘Like setting your watch to someone’s routine or habit, if it rains, the Hodgsons are usually going on holiday!!’

‘But it rains a lot in these parts!’ said Roisin.

‘Exactly!!’ I replied clasping my hands together around the back of my head and leaning back on my chair like some smug lawyer having just delivered the killer blow. ‘I rest my case m’lud!!!’

Lao Tzu, a famous Chinese philosopher said: ‘A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step’

Our journey of a thousand miles began with a short taxi ride to Runcorn station!! From there, a two-hour train to London, the tube to Paddington, the Heathrow express to terminal 5 then a free local bus to the Hyatt Place Hotel where we spent the night.

It was an early start on the day of our flight to Moscow; Alarm at 04:45 for the 05:35 hoppa bus to T5. The hoppa bus is a specially designated bus that stops by all the local hotels to and from Heathrow terminals. We didn’t have to make the start so early as our flight wasn’t until 08:45 but having access to the Aspire lounge; an executive lounge serving complimentary food, drink and wi-fi or for a small fee, a spa treatment, nestled in a quiet corner of the terminal, we had to make the most of every luxury while we still could!!

The Aspire lounge was in such a quiet area of the terminal it took almost 25 minutes to reach our gate, C61!

On approaching the platforms for the shuttle train that would whisk us to sector C, all travellers were greeted by a hologram hostess repeatedly welcoming us to the shuttle service and explaining the process. I felt like I had suddenly entered the movie set for Total Recall!!

Our flight, a Boeing 777, the largest commercial twin engine aircraft with a 2-4-2 configuration (in World Traveller+) and accommodating a minimum of 314 passenger departed only half an hour behind schedule. The flight was far from full. I counted only 11 passengers in our Premium economy cabin. The 4-hour flight to Moscow’s Domodedovo airport was uneventful except for a couple of passengers from economy who, when seeing how empty Premium economy was, decided to sneak in and sit on the back row…

…and they would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for that pesky globetrotter (Roisin)!! Now no-one likes a snitch or a grass but Roisin gave a master class in indirect rephrasing that was sublime to watch. Instead of sticking her hand up like a spoilt 6^th grader: ‘Please sir, them thar people have just snuck in from behind the curtain!!’ she casually inquired of a passing cabin attendant, (whilst waiting in the queue for the loo): ‘Have those people been told to sit there…???!’ Pure brilliance! Nobody can criticise an inquisitive mind…although we all know her true intention!!

Despite the slight delay in departure, we landed approximately on time. A bank of a dozen or so passport control booths came to life with the clicking of stamps are we all gradually filtered through and were allowed to enter the county without hindrance….well almost!!

Roisin and I approached adjacent booths at roughly the same time. After briefly inserting my passport into a magnifying glass contraption, printing off a small chit that I had to sign twice despite it being completely in Russian, the double click of a stamp; my passport was handed back and I was waved on to proceed. The whole affair had taken less than three minutes. I waited at the other side…and waited. Ten minutes had passed and Roisin had not yet emerged. I had visions of her being escorted to an interrogation room because she had signed her ‘new’ passport below the line. This is something we had recently joked about as I had signed mine above ‘the line!’ Wouldn’t it be ironic, I thought, if she set off for Siberia without me!? All that planning and she ends up getting a free trip!! I was starting to get a little anxious (as she still had the snickers bars in her bag!!) As I was through the barrier there was no going back. However, I managed to sneak back so I was in line with the booth Roisin had originally approached. The rear of the booth consisted of frosted glass so I was unable to see what was happening. I stole a few more yards. No alarms went off!! A few more yards and I managed to peek around the corner. I glimpsed Roisin and to my relief she was still standing in front of the booth looking non plussed. Not surrounded by armed guards. Just waiting patiently. I quickly trotted back to my original position away from the immigration booths and waited. After a further five long minutes, Roisin finally appeared. Roisin felt, from her experience of working with the UK Border Force, that this Russian Officer has suspicions that her shiny new 48 page passport may have been a fake!!

After collecting our luggage from the carousel, we entered the arrivals hall and almost immediately focussed on a ‘Go Russia’ sign. This is what we were told by the company would be displayed every time we are to be met by a representative. Our ‘rep’ was probably late fifties/early sixties (either that or he had had a hard life!!) and as Roisin approached the rep pointed he said, what sounded like ‘Rowze??’ I’m sure he had been practicing the name ‘Roisin’ all afternoon, and now it was time to perform… I was a few seconds behind Roisin and as I came in to his eyeline, he looked at me as if to say ‘Who the hell are you?!’ Roisin introduced me as ‘Christopher’.

‘Ah! Kristofer..!’ repeated the rep as if he had genuinely forgotten he was supposed to pick up two persons.

He took Roisin’s baggage and without further ado, set off through the airport exit. I guess we were expected to follow him!!

For a rep he wasn’t very talkative. This was a man on a mission as he strode further away from the airport. Roisin was almost trotting to keep up with him. We had been walking for a few minutes and to break the monotony, I asked: ‘Are we walking to the hotel, or what?’

‘Da, Hotel’, he nodded as he pointed to somewhere in the distance.

He eventually stopped and he opened the back doors of a rather dour looking Lada van. I noticed the bonnet had been tied down with string. As we reversed out of our parking space, Roisin reminded me to ‘buckle up’. I was surprised that this vehicle was fitted with seat belts!!

It was a forty-minute drive to the Katerina City hotel, our base for the next two days. During the journey, our driver only managed three words: ‘Welcome in Moskva!’ If this guy is our guide for the next two days then the excursions that have been organised whilst in Moscow are going to be a barrel of laughs!!

The Hotel Karina City is advertised as a Russian Hotel based on a Swedish design. The walls of our room are painted yellow and blue and, apart from the door to our room opening outwards, I’m afraid that’s where the similarity ends!! The blue and red stripes of the sofa and matching blue and red checks of the chair gave the impression that the desk and coffee table may have been supplied by IKEA but the sofa and chair look like they’ve been designed by Dr Seuss!!

It had been a long day. After a short stroll along the Moscow river and a bite to eat we returned to the hotel bar for a night cap. There seemed to be a lot of commotion coming from the hotel restaurant that lies adjacent to the bar down a brightly lit passageway. I had to investigate only to be confronted with the Russian version of the long running UK charades gameshow ‘Give us a Clue’ complete with compere. As I stood watching at the entrance to the restaurant a lady who was stood just in front of me turned and spoke in Russian.

‘I’m sorry I don’t understand’, I said

‘This is a private wedding,’ she repeated in almost faultless English

‘Oh, I see’, I replied as I continued to watch.

Less subtley she then said, ’Yes, but it is private. That is what a private wedding is!!’ She couldn’t have been clearer if she had said, ‘Piss off specky! You weren’t invited!!’

Tomorrow is our first excursion. We will learn if we are the only ones on the tour or if we will have company for the duration. We have heard many English speakers this evening in the bar and the occasional ‘Go Russia’ so my guess is on the latter. We’re just grateful that we’ve made it. Let’s just wait and see what tomorrow brings!!

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Photos

One of the seven sisters, Moscow
The seven sisters are similar monolithic buildings dotted around Moscow. Two are Hotels, two are apartment blocks, two are Ministry buildings and one is a University.