My dearer Madeira and a double thud from C525


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Europe » Portugal » Madeira » Funchal
October 18th 2014
Published: June 26th 2017
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After a night's rest the swelling on my ankle had receded and felt much better although it was still very tender. I was able to put weight on my foot but when walking I was still unable to do anything about the pronounced limp. My limp had reduced from the ‘Herr Flick' category to a Jake the Peg(without his extra leg) category!! I took the bandage off to assess the progress and gasped at the colour of the side of my foot. At first I thought it was just the dye from my cheap pair of Primark socks but as Roisin immediately testified, it was the fall out from my ‘fall over'!! I decided to give it as much rest as possible today whilst exercising the joint in the hope that it doesn't seize up altogether.

Because I intended to spend a lot of time in my cabin today, the cruise director told me of a few games to play if I get bored.

Game 1:
Unravel a toilet roll. Put one end in to the toilet bowl whilst unwinding the rest of the roll around the cabin. Flush the toilet and watch the paper snake around the cabin as the toilet paper is rapidly consumed by the vacuum flush - inch by inch. He added that it is even funnier when you're drunk!!

Game 2
Roisin and I put our lifejackets on and just run and body slam each other!!! This is very good aerobic exercise although it helps if you have a litre bottle of tequila handy and no sprained ankles!!

‘On reflection', he added, ‘these are probably drinking games that, with you taking medication and in your current condition would be unwise to try…..but always great to bear in mind for your next cruise!!'

Roisin and Kaye flew the flag in the Great Adventure Trail – round 2. Their brain teaser to be solved in order to get the first clue was: ‘UP IT IT IT IT' (Up for it!) Not being in the race it gave me time to look at the opposition. There were 4 teams that had turned up. 2 of them had very young (teens and 20-somethings) members. The quest took them up to the Lotus Spa on deck 19 where Angelica was waiting to give them their task. They had to get a poster from the Photo Department. The other teams made the grave mistake of taking the nearest elevator.
This was strategically naive on 2 counts:

1. These are the busiest lifts on the ship and would probably stop at every floor.

2. The nearest lift doesn't go all the way to deck 19!!

Roisin and Kaye made their way to the front of the ship and took the elevator, uninterrupted to the Lotus Spa. 8 minutes later they both returned presenting their quarry to the hostess for a valuable 10 second bonus. After the false start to yesterday's challenge where we finished 3rd, the weakest link in the team has now been identified (clue: NOT Kaye or Roisin!!)

I have been taking pain killers and anti-inflammatories for the past few days so the champagne I won the other night remains unopened. I did promise the rest of the trivia team that I would bring the champagne to this evening's trivia but due to my medication decided to postpone the celebration until a later date. Anita from Gibraltar looked somewhat disappointed as she was sat there clutching her bitter lemon mixer as she doesn't like champagne straight.

On Princess Cruises there is a morning show called the Wake Show. This is hosted by the Cruise Director and is a 20 minute slot highlighting the day's events, reading out a few dedications and setting a trivia question. The questions so far have been in the form of a TV show theme tune. So far we have not bothered to switch the TV on but this morning we caught the trivia question. The theme tune started ‘ Let me tell you a story ‘bout a man named Ged…' Straight away we both recognised the theme tune from the 60s sitcom The Beverley
Hillbillies about a family of rednecks who discover oil (Texas Gold!!) and move to millionaires row in Beverley Hills but bring with them their country bumkin values and way of life. We decided to enter the competition. The following morning, on the day of arrival in Madeira we switched the TV on to the Wake Show: ‘Drum roll..trrrrrr…..and the winner is…..Caribe 525 congratulations Roisin Hodgson, you're a winner winner, chicken dinner although at no time will you receive a chicken dinner!!', said Kelvin the Cruise Director. We had no idea what the prize was. The Cruise Director mentioned something about a free casino chip to be played on a special game where you have to get a key in to the hole. This was in addition to our prize. We were still none the wiser!

We arrived in Madeira at 07:00 and all on board by 15:30. We had plans for our time in Madeira but as I was still feeling the effects; I was unable to walk too fast and was still wincing from time to time as well as feeling unsteady on my one good foot, we decided to put on hold our original plan and reassess our options. We will be revisiting Madeira in March 2015 so neither of us were disappointed with this turnaround of events.

Funchal, the capital of Madeira is named after the fennel (funcha) that once flowered there in abundance. Madeira was discovered in 1419 by Joao Goncalves Zarco who just happened to be venturing south into the Atlantic.

The island, of course, is noted for its superb wines. They are perhaps the world's most complex and long lasting wines. That's what the guide book says but I say ‘Rubbish!' Uncork, pour, drink. What's complex about that? And as with most alcohol, they're certainly not long lasting in the Hodgson household!!

We decided to venture in to the main thoroughfare of Funchal just to get off the ship. Perhaps stock up on one of these so called ‘long lasting' wines just to see how long I can actually make the wine last. The trek in to the centre is about 3km. So as not to over exert my ankle, we took the shuttle bus. Normally we would have walked the picturesque route but $10 each return seemed fair price under the circumstances.

We decided to disembark after the morning trivia at 11:15am. In order to play, the host required 8 people. 9 turned up but unfortunately 7 were on the same team!! For our dedication, Marcus, presented everyone with a prize, a Princess key chain. This is the easiest trivia prize we'll ever win!!! (albeit the crapiest!!)

There were 4 ships in port today. As well as the Emerald Princess. We spotted the MSC Sinfonia, P & O Oriana and Fred Olsen's Balmoral. Funchal town was heaving more than a desperate housewife's cleavage!! Normally in Monte, where the wicker bracket toboggan begins, priority is given to cruise ship excursions. As everyone will more than likely be on an excursion the priority line will become the norm!!

We were dropped off opposite the Madeira Wine museum on Avenida Arriaga. Slowly but surely we hobbled up the Avenue (isn't that the name of a song?) I made it safely to the cathedral some 600m from the drop off point. Roisin suggested that we visit the embroidery museum which was only another few hundred yards further on. Now I don't like tempting fate or milking a situation but for a visit to the embroidery museum I made an exception. The limp became more pronounced and the face slightly more contorted with every step I made and every breathe I took (oh no! I'm in song mode again!!) The best form of medicine would be a cup of coffee at the nearest free wi-fi toting café. Turning into a side street, we wandered for about 5 minutes until we settled on a small terrace coffee shop. I noticed the cake they were selling was quite diverse in price. A slice of one type of cake was €1.29 when a similar size slice of a difference cake was €3.50. I asked the assistant why the difference in price.

That's Madeira cake!!' She replied.

After being fully refreshed with an Americano, a Lipton's Tea and a Portuguese Custard Cake it was a little after 1:15pm so we made our way back to the ship via the shuttle

On walking down the passageway toward our cabin I noticed an envelope had been clipped to our door. Great, I thought. Roisin's prize. Hopefully dinner for 2 at the speciality restaurant, Sabatini's? Perhaps it is a free cocktail of the day?' as soon as we were in the privacy of our cabin Roisin opened the envelope.

‘Oh, you're having a laugh', she cried. ‘A 1 dollar token to be played in the casino!! That can't be it, surely'. She then thought for one moment then added, ‘Oh, wait. The envelope was fastened to the door by a Princess bulldog clip fridge magnet. That must be the prize! She said as she tossed it on the dresser with the other 6 we had already won!!

The afternoon trivia was made entertaining when the Brazilian host, Marcus asked the following question: ‘Which famous actress co stared with Leonardo di Crapio in Titanic!!' The lounge burst in to spontaneous laughter. He couldn't see what he had said wrong. He read the question for a second time with the same results. It was the best spoonerism I had heard in a long time. When several members of the audience corrected him, Marcus apologised ‘I'm sorry, Leonardo di Caprio…' Some quick witted individual them blurted out, ‘No, you were right the first time!!!'

We ate dinner in the restaurant where I had Red Wine and Shiitake braised beef. Message to Princess Cruises: ‘Avoid further embarrassment to the guests by only listing dishes that cannot be mispronounced!!!

Several nights ago we were woken up at 4:30am by a loud ‘Thud…thud' It was so loud that the whole cabin vibrated. It repeated at intervals of 5 or 10 minutes or more throughout the night: ‘Thud…thud'. It sounded like a heavy trolley unsecured and crashing into something metallic but as the cabin shook when this occurred we knew that couldn't be the cause. The sound seemed to be coming from behind the bulkhead. We reported this anomaly to the passenger services and were told that this is probably due to the movement of the ship in the rough weather we've been experiencing but they'll send a carpenter around to climb in to the deck head and adjust whatever is causing this noise. Roisin and I knew that this was not the cause due to the velocity of the banging. However, it was useless to argue and at least they were being proactive in seeking a solution. Last night, Roisin and I had a relatively peaceful rest and this evening we had an aftercare call from the duty manage to see that things had improved. I couldn't lie. The noise had not returned so it was as you were. On returning back to our cabin after the evening entertainment, a plate of ‘6' chocolates were waiting for us on the dresser with a note which started: ‘Please accept these handmade chocolates as a small token of our apology for the inconvenience you have experienced.' Roisin took one look at this meagre offering and commented, ‘A VERY small token indeed. They could have at least left the rest of the box!!!' My feeling was ‘mmmm handmade chocolates'. The time was 00:18. In just under 8 hours we'll be arriving in sunny Tenerife. As I was just about to pop one of these delicious mouth-watering chockies in to my mouth, I froze. ‘Thud…thud…' The bulk head had awoken!! (to be continued….)


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A meagre apology for the inconvenience!A meagre apology for the inconvenience!
A meagre apology for the inconvenience!

You could have at least left us the whole box!!


20th October 2014

That banging noise would have me worried too! It reminds me of a line from the classic duet 'Windy Days'. It's one of my favourite Berni Flint songs in which he duets with the utterly marvellous Stephanie De Sykes. Windy Days: "Babe I'm no
t sure,I heard you right,what the hell was that bangin'In the night?" keep on cruising, loving your world-wide-web log! T
20th October 2014

A couple of mates have been to Madeira in the past. One said it was great , the other the opposite. What's your view?
20th October 2014

Dave. You will love Madeira. Plenty to do or see or not if you so desire. Loads of reasonably priced bars and restaurants. I'd love to see you and your missus try the wicker basket sled!! Truce, Glad you're enjoying the blog. I like to thi
nk my writing is a mix between Ernest Hemmingway and Viz Magazine!!
20th October 2014

Although the bulls have long cleared the streets, the young men were still sweating and leaping for the amusement of the beautiful spanish women. He walked among them lamenting his own lost youth. The evening quickly fell into clear night a
nd all around the sounds of intoxicated voices wove around him like a school of minnows caught in a strong undertow. He pushed open the door to the closest watering hole and stood at the door for a moment before going in.His name was Johnny Fartypants I think you will find that the above is more like Hemingway crossed with Viz. I feel your blog is more like an Alan Titchmarsh novel crossed with the legendary wit of Derek Nimmo. Ciao. Truce Grovellar
20th October 2014

Banging NoisesA few years ago whilst cruising on Balmoral, we were accused by our cabin neighbours of making loud banging noises at 5am - we wish !It transpired that the upper deck swimming pool was emptied and refilled at 5am and that the
water pipe ran down their cabin wall ! They got moved to another cabin.
20th October 2014

Are those Maderia chocolates? Can't believe you repeated the cake joke again!! Get well soon Chris
20th October 2014

I don't remember repeating the cake joke. Enlighten me. It ,must be an age thing!!!

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