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Published: August 2nd 2009
As always, a word on transport. A sane person might safely assume that at 5 am on a Friday, an airport would be, if not an oasis of tranquillity, then certainly uncrowded. How wrong we were - Stansted was packed, heaving with Brits going away on stag dos. We spotted at least four of these groups, who had had the original idea of wearing t-shirts bearing quips like ‘Dangerous Dave’s Stag’, or some such rhetorical achievement.
Upon arrival we immediately attacked by rogue consonants. Poland has been invaded many times, and those who ransacked the place fiendishly stole all their vowels. I am going to suggest a linguistic exchange with some Polynesian islands - together they could swap vowels for some consonants and create a perfectly balanced language.
The wonderful zloty is the currency. It’s worth about 20 Zimbabwean dollars, which doesn’t get you many pounds, I can tell you. Within half an hour of getting to the city centre, we had both made purchases and whooped quietly at how cheap it was. An auspicious start!
Kazimierz, as we learned, is the Jewish quarter, which was used as the backdrop to Schindler’s list. The walls are pock-marked, by design or ill-management,
Political commentary
Very red is commies, little bit red is better, half half (Poland's flag) is just about right. Solidarity!which gives the place a slightly haunted look. I read a potted history of the area - it is a grim, repetitive tale of growth followed by disaster. One can only hope that the current revival does not foreshadow darker things to come.
Overall impression was good. Things seem to work, but in a faintly haggard sort of way.
Our highlight was a tour of Nowa Huta, New Town, one of the world’s two completely pre-designed Soviet cities. Our guide, Mikhael, was a self-professed commie car enthusiast who drove us around in an old Nysa van, (this means ‘box with wheels’ in Polish).
Krakow has seen it all - we visited a mound of dirt (handy) that may date from the Bronze age, there are Roman ruins, the medieval Old Town is a gem (complete with massive Wawel castle), Second World War buffs can cruise Kazimierz, and Nowa Huta is a Comrade's dream. To top it all off, the steel works (Nowa Huta’s raison d’etre) are now owned by an Indian tycoon, thus handily including globalisation in Krakow’s tour of the centuries.
Our last foray into official touristdom (nothing like a good neologism) was visiting Wawel castle. The hordes were
out in force, and not just yer basic tourist either - we were blessed with the company of a moustachioed muppet whose reaction when shown the ‘do not take pictures’ sign (a camera with a line through it - not rocket science) was one of bovine incomprehension. We left fairly quickly.
A word of caution, if I may. There are relatively few toilets, and they don’t have locks that say ‘occupied’, in English or Polish. This means that after waiting, you get to the loo, only to have the handle wrenched inquisitively mid-relief. Could do better.
Krakow retains a completely unblemished record apart from this minor flaw. It feels safe, it’s easy to get around and they do the basics well: coffee, beer, salads, pizzas, steak. The local food (dumplings, mostly) is tasty as well.
This was probably our favourite small-ish destination - I only found out we were going there the night before, which added to the pleasant feeling of discovery. It was a birthday present - thanks Mon!
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