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Europe » Norway
June 27th 2008
Published: September 30th 2017
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The Bilbao airport - bye bye Spain, until next year!
Geo: 60.3881, 5.33185

A disgusting sleep last night - like an oven in my room, so I woke up drenched in sweat. Leaving Spain today ... I felt so ... empty 😞 I thought of poor Pervez, whose first experience with Spanish food was the beautiful Basque tapas. I did warn him that it was all downhill from there - that the food in the rest of Spain would not measure up. But it's ok, because while not a feast for the stomach, Spain is still a feast for the eyes 😊

A rainy day - perhaps I should've listened to the hotel receptionist who told me to take the tram from the old town to the bus station, rather than walk to Plaza Moyua and take the bus from there. I don't know if it was Spain's way of mocking me, but I couldn't believe the number of beautiful senoritas I passed on the way, presumably all heading to work. Spain, Spain, Spain ... I will miss you, and your countless beauties. It is my life's goal to check out every one of your beautiful women - I'm probably at the 50% mark right now so many return trips are still in
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The last cafe con leche of the trip. I shed a tear as I drank it ...
order!

Plaza Moyua - the rain was nice, as it kept the walk nice and cool. It suited my mood for the morning - a little dreary and depressed. I walked around the perimeter of the circular plaza to find the bus stop - I ended up walking almost the entire circumference until I found it. I could've simply crossed the street in the opposite direction when I arrived at the plaza and would've immediately found it.

I shielded myself from the rain by a nearby building, where three beautiful senoritas asked me to take a picture of them. Spain, why are you mocking me again?!!?!? They're headed to Ibiza - is it too late to change my flight and join them? You need to be careful in Spain - it only takes an instant to take a photo of a beautiful Spanish senorita (or in this case, three), but it only takes an instant for a beautiful Spanish senorita to take your heart! I've learned this piece of wisdom the hard way - I've taken to creating backpacker proverbs, as I'm becoming a wannabe backpacker Confucius. But instead of dispensing wisdom, I dispense little bits of cynicism and sarcasm
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Grabbed a quick sandwich for breakfast at the airport - stunningly good wheat bun, crisp and chewy. The Iberico ham and cheese was delightful - a small, but delicious sandwich. I wished that I bought another one to take on the plane with me because despite the check-in girl telling a meal was included, there was only food for purchase on board.
to any young backpackers I come across!

I think I need to adopt a new strategy while traveling in Spain - I'm simply going to ride the airport buses, since I seem to meet more cute senoritas that way! On the bus - I gotta say that their luggage racks suck. They're too small to accommodate most suitcases, so nobody uses them.

I was pulled aside as I went through security - as I took a seat in the office, I was quite worried that the security guard would pull out a rubber glove ... but luckily, he asked if I had a metal fork in backpack. Whew! He chuckled when he saw it - it's actually a titanium spork, not really good for harming anybody. Perhaps I could scoop out somebody's eyes?

I tried to purchase a juice box from a vending machine before boarding, but it stole my 2 Euros! More mockery from Spain! I had wanted to try a Pascual-brand Canary Islands juice mix. I tried to have it several times unsuccessfully in the Canary Islands - either the grocery stores never seemed to have it when I wanted it, or the one time I ordered it in a
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Bryggen, the old historic part of Bergen.
restaurant they brought me the wrong one. Finally trying this juice is yet another excuse for me to one day return to Spain ...

Now that I am leaving Spain, I can now listen to non-Spanish music - I no longer need the practice, sadly. It's unfortunate - after four days here, I was just becoming comfortable with the language again, but now I am leaving.

On board - I read the local Bilbao newspaper and came across an article saying that now was the time to buy vacation property along the coast. Demand and prices have fallen, there's more choice, and developers are willing to throw in extras. I might as well save on money at hostels by simply buying a place here!

Another interesting article - only 15.4% of Spanish kids eat ice cream - a study states that eating ice cream three times a week helps kids get the calcium and carbohydrates they need. I can imagine all the kids back home quoting that study to scam more ice cream back home ...

Starving, I was forced to buy a meal on board. For 7 Euros, I got a breakfast consisting of a tiny ham and cheese sandwich (multi-grain
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Norway is reknowned for producing sweaters. Spain is reknowned for producing lovey ladies. Conclusion - Spain contributes far more to the world than Norway.
bun), melon yogurt with muesli and little rice puffs that tasted like rice cakes, 125 ml of juice, and tea. Very expensive for what little I received, but it turned out to be a bargain compared to the obscene prices I would soon see in Norway.

While traveling, I love listening to songs about being away from home - today, it was Stone Sour's "Zzyzx Road" ... ahhh ... so therapeutic. I took a nice nap and the next thing you know, we were landing in Oslo. People started clapping for the landing again - it's my new pet peeve! It's like unnecessary standing ovations! You people suck!

I'm just passing through Oslo, but I'll be back in a few days. It's airport looks a little Ikea-ish - customs was a joke, as everybody walks right through without so much as a question. But can you blame them? They probably want as many Spanish women to enter their country as possible ...

I barely made my connecting flight to Bergen - some dumbass was in my seat. I offered to switch with him, but then somebody else was in HIS seat. Why not just stick to your assigned seats, dumbasses? I thought the
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Norway is also famous for trolls. The score is now Spain 2, Norway 0.
first guy was just wanting to sit with his friends but then I realized that my seat was in the emergency exit aisle and that there was no seat in front of it. The bastard just wanted a better seat! So he left and I took my seat with a beautiful amount of leg room.

We landed in Bergen, and there was no applause this time (thank you!). I checked into the hostel - pretty plain and quite cramped. Sadly, I booked the place because I saw a review from a Spanish girl named Isabel and thought "Hmmm ... any place that hosts beautiful Spanish girls named Isabel is good enough for me!"

I went off in search of food. A pizza bun and 1.5 litres of water cost me almost 4 Euros! And this was at a grocery store! Cool thing - your change is actually dispensed automatically (bills included), and you deposit any coins into a slot.

I went for a walk and booked a scenic train/bus/boat tour of the fjords. A nice surprise down at the harbourfront - tons of Spanish tourists! Unfortunately, it was mostly an older crowd. Off to the Galleriet shopping centre - a Norwegian lady
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Underneath "We Speak English" it says "We Speak Spanish". Could it be? Does this mean they receive lots of Spanish tourists here???
scared the crap out of me - she was selling something and approached me quickly. I don't often meet women so much taller than me, and from the corner of my eye it looked like she might knock me over.

I walked over to the Bryggen historic area - there are some beautiful Norwegian women working in the area, but sadly they seem to do much fake and bake! An unnaturally dark tan for this part of the world, I think.

Up the town's funicular - pretty cold at the top! Nice views, despite some clouds. A free play entitled "Three Kinds of Fire" was being put on in the tiny amphitheatre. A bit of a pain to find, because it was so tiny and not well marked.

It was a nice setting, with birds chirping. The play is about the 1916 fire that decimated Bergen, and was told through the eyes of an 8 year old girl, who drew parallels with her own crumbling family and personal life. My ass was cold, sitting on the stone seating.

After, I went to the cafe - the guidebook mentioned a soup buffet, which would have been perfect on a chilly night
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Caviar in a tube - I can imagine the look of horror on some tourist's face, if they bought this at the grocery store, thinking it was toothpaste.
like this, but it looked to be finished already. The funicular back down was absolutely packed. Being offended by the food prices here, I looked for something cheap and ate at a sausage stand.

Unsatisfied, I stumbled upon a kebab shop - wrap-style, stuffed with corn, a sweet sauce, and ground lamb. The wrap was a little too chewy, but still tasty and not a bad value, compared to the sausage I had earlier. I sucked it down back at the hostel, where I noticed some Chinese people have a VERY high-end hostel dinner. They cooked themselves crab! In stark contrast to that, I saw another Chinese family eating instant noodles and scrambled eggs. Lots of Asians are staying at this hostel.

Up to the room - very cramped, especially with three Aussie girls showering and getting ready for bed. Since they were all using the bathroom you would think they were all staying in the room, but then more people started showing up ... only two of the girls were actually staying in the room! Terribly rude ... they occupied the bathroom for almost an hour. All other rooms have their own bathrooms, so why not use them? Unless they
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Hmmm ... not a very politically correct caricature.
are in the big dorm, but there are also bathrooms there. If there's a line, wait - don't use ours!

It's tough falling asleep here - the sun doesn't go down until after 11:00 or 12:00, but there's still light out. Kind of cool ... but not so much so when you are trying to sleep!


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Though it's a crappy chain restaurant, it's definitely housed in a cool-looking building.
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View of Bergen from the funicular. Imagine how stunning it would have been if it weren't so cloudy?
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The play "Three kinds of fire" that was playing at the top of the funicular. Do you realize that there is a famous actor playing a bit role in the play?
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It's Mr. Bean's Teddy!
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I wanted to try the reindeer sausage but it wouldn't be ready for 5-10 minutes, and I was too hungry to wait. I settled on the wild game sausage - nothing special and not very filling. The mustard was quite yummy, though. Friggin' thing cost me 5 Euros!
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"Salg" is Norwegian for sale ... so what exactly are they selling?


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