Time Well Wasted

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Marianne is a darling. She has given us her little house, with all the comforts we require, and even in her absence we are beginning to get the hang of Amsterdam living. (Of course, there have been some slip-ups. This morning, for instance, I mistakenly added buttermilk to Ron's coffee and it took us a long time to figure out why it was curdling so ferociously.) So our goals have been modest: to fit in as best as we can, take care of ourselves in every way, and have a good time.

We decided to start with bike etiquette.

Ron is riding Marianne's city bike, with its hand brake and gears, and I am on her sturdy workhorse, with a rusty bell and a big basket in front. It makes me feel quite important as I ride along. No spandex, no helmets. To wear either of these is geeky, and we'd stand out like sore thumbs. To be entirely cool, Ron should be cycling while talking on his cell phone and I should be wearing high heels, applying lipstick and having two school-aged children bristling out in the front and back. Obviously, we are not there yet.

Everyone bikes. This morning, I saw an infant straight from the womb barreling along (On a two-wheeler! No training wheels!) next to her grandfather. Next, I saw an octogenarian couple, riding side by side, he sucking on a cold pipe and she wearing a gold purse around her neck. They looked dressed for the opera.

We dress like Bag People. Ron wears a fuzzy ball cap with ear flaps, hunches over the handlebars and bears down with a death grip. He has almost been clipped, twice, by speeding vespas, and is no match for businesswomen chatting to each other as they ride in tandem. I have borrowed Marianne's yellow poncho and it reaches well past my knees. As an added touch, I trail a chequered scarf so Ron can pick me out in a crowd. You know those plastic shower caps they give out in hotels? Well, in a stroke of brilliance I used the one I stole from Dublin to keep my bike seat from getting soggy in the rain. Now, whenever I return from lunch or shopping, I can hop right on without getting my bum wet. So far, I haven't seen anyone else be half as clever.

My advice for a long and healthy life: always keep your front wheel at a sharp angle to the tram tracks. Head right across it, not alongside. I'm convinced that getting stuck in a tram track could be lethal. So far, I haven't seen anyone doing this either but, knowing us, we could be first.

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Comments

[Ron]

My two-bits
No fooling about the tram tracks....I almost fell in traffic......the amsterdamers collectively gasped at my faux pas. Avoiding the centrum. Pedalling past horses, farms and fields for several kilometers. The destination....super modern shopping centre (largest in Amsterdam) and euro therapy.

[Cales]

Paddington
You look just like a European Paddington Bear. I vividly remember the days when I would have been mortified that my mother was wearing a yellow moomoo and putting a shower cap over her seat. However, I must say that I now find it rather indearing and have shown off your picture to the ladies around the office. Please be careful on your bike...I would like my world travelling mommy home in one piece!

[Andy]

WPTs
Clipped by Vespas while riding + tram tracks +undoubtedly other obstacles and perils = possible disaster. WPT = What People Think = "If I wear a helmet I will look 'geeky' and random people who I don't know and will never know might notice me". WTF = What The F**K

[vera]

Fabulous
I'm still thinking of coming. Going to talk to Barb next week and make a decision. What do you think? Should we be able to talk or just e-mai? love, V

[betty purdy]

Priceless
You two can go just about anyplace and fit in, you look like you have been there for ever. Like your outfit. I wish I could have fitted in your suitcase. Have fun and stay away from the tram tracks, you have alot to see yet.

[zena]

Love the description of your day to day adventures. Look forward to reading your blog. Great picture. Be careful on those bikes.

[Miri Garaway]

WELL DONE!
Hi Liz and Ron, I can totally visualize you amongst the throngs of Amsterdamers. Is that a Zabar's bag in your carrier? Kol Ha'kavod for the shower cap seat protector. As long as you know that they ride with a vengeance...Stay safe. Love, Miri

[Ron Roth]

This is my little way of "micro travel blogging". As we were traipsin along a beautiful trail in Amsterdam Bos and listening to our respective Ipods, words of a nice Jewish boy from Minnesota seemed so terribly a propos at that moment: I'm ready to go anywhere, I'm ready for to fade Into my own parade, cast your dancing spell my way, I promise to go under it. Though you might hear laughin', spinnin', swingin' madly across the sun, It's not aimed at anyone, it's just escapin' on the run And but for the sky there are no fences facin'. -Bob Dylan Mr. Tambourine Man (1964)

[Mark]

fashion statement
What no wooden shoes.

[marianne]

the dutch biking world
from a beautifully canadian observed perspective in lovely writing