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Published: August 19th 2006
I was sitting in what could have been the millionth “Double Coffee” I’ve been to since I came to Riga enjoying a nice cup of vanilla green tea and reading my Bible and I noticed an American flag by the bar. When I saw it, it hit me that I am going home in a few days and I realized a part of me is a little apprehensive, maybe even a tad bit scared. I haven’t been ‘home’ in 8 months and haven’t live there for a year. It is comforting to already know the plans God has for me once I return but I know it won’t be easy to see it all play out. I also know it’s going to be harder to seek God with as much fervor as this past year because I will no longer be surrounded by passionate Christians 24/7 (back to the real world). What keeps going through my head are lyrics from a song (not sure if it’s a real song or just words in my head accompanied by a melody), which goes something like, ‘Hold me tight Lord, never let me go. Hold me tighter than I’ve even know before.” And
another musical thought is about my desire to live for Him, for my life to glorify Him. I know that whatever happens when I go home, I don’t want to fall back or even remain in my current ‘position’ of my relationship with Jesus, but I want more. I want more, I need more. And I don’t want the people around me to stay the same either. I want God to use me, what He’s done in me to draw them closer to Him. (John 3:21 “But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.”) This year in JR was not just a season in my life when I lived 100% for God, but it is just the beginning of the rest of my life.
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