For my family...

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I sit here alone with my thoughts. Christmas day is nearly over here in Kosovo. The night is quiet and the stars are twinkling overhead and I wish I could close my eyes and magically appear back home where I belong. With my family.

It’s funny how we get in habits as we grow older. Doing the same things with the same people during the same time of year. Personally, I like it that way. I like to smell the turkey as it cooks slowly throughout the morning. I like to peel the potatoes and stir the gravy (of course that would not be perfect without a few lumps added in!). I can hardly sleep the night before Christmas because somewhere deep inside I still believe there is a Santa Claus. Who else could bring such happiness to so many people.

Being so far away today wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be. Of course, for those of you who know me know that I kept as busy as humanly possible. I did my best to see and speak to each and every soldier and I tried my hardest to create smiles and maybe put a little comfort in being away from home for some. But I would much rather be sitting in front of the Christmas tree with my pajamas on, rushing the family to sit down so I could pass out the presents. I have always been Santa at my house and sometimes I wonder how they can really get along without me. Who Ho-Ho-Ho’s and sings songs? Who sits in my spot on the floor? There are traditions. (I know my sister is doing a fine job but probably doesn’t get into it as much I would).

If I could reach across the miles I would hold all of you dearly and we would laugh together. I would wear the stupid holiday hats and wear crazy socks and shirts. I would go overboard and you all would tolerate me…Just for the day! My favorite time of year. The season I wait for throughout the year.

My Bismarck family has been gracious enough over the years that sharing an entire season together is common. The months of planning for the Christmas lights, and then putting them up through the most bitter of days, the flipping of the switch to watch hundreds of thousands of twinkling lights dance to the music, and watching the vehicles drive by to view the holiday masterpiece has become a part of my life. When it comes to the family meal I can tell that my cooking skills are not quite up to the Midwest expectations, as they still only have me bring the wine to the dinner. Of course I can mess that up though…As apparent by the year that I selected the wine by the animals on the label! (oops)

I travel back to Washington State usually on 26 December and it is always wonderful to be back home. The home where I was raised and learned life’s difficult lessons as I grew up. There were very few Christmas’s that were white but it was always the most important time of year. To be thankful for the family that I had and from a very young age made a promise that I would always be home for Christmas. Who knew that I would grow up to be a world traveler? But I have kept to my promise and I always been welcomed home with grateful hearts and a loving place to be a part of something bigger than myself. Who could have guessed that there would be so many deployments? Sorry.

I could hear my Mom say that today as she put the turkey in the oven that it felt as if I was standing right next to her in the kitchen helping and being her best taste tester. When it was time to hang up the phone, I could hear the tears in her voice, I could feel the love through the phone and I could feel the pain of missing home in my heart. For all of my Mom’s, the one I was raised with, those who claim me in fun and those I was born to, thank you for all the time you have put into making my holidays so memorable and special throughout the years. You have always ensured that Dad’s hung the lights and that the family be together for the holidays, I can never repay those lessons in life.

So many memories of the past and so many dreams for the future. This will most definitely be a Christmas to remember. I cannot give this time back, but I can look forward to next year. I would never change this time with Soldiers and it is my family who has made me strong. Strong enough to endure another Christmas away from home. Strong enough to have the courage to follow my heart and travel afar with other Soldiers and still know that my family loves me. Strong enough to always come home at the end of another adventure.

To my family…Merry Christmas…I Love and Miss you all so much!

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