To Munich or bust! Part I...


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Europe » Kosovo » East
October 4th 2009
Published: October 6th 2009
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Leave it up to me to come up with some hair brained idea about providing the soldiers a chance to see a part of Germany. It all started when I found out that the active duty soldiers here were going to have a four day weekend which in turn meant that we would not be able to do any coordination with anybody. There were only about 100 of us here on the ADVON party so away my imagination went. I enlisted the help of a few logistic soldiers and off we were making a plan. We only had 10 mini-vans assigned to us, so I knew we would need more transportation assets and mostly I knew that I had to make this trip legitimate with the military post and the post commander. So we divided and conquered. The post leadership had no issues, the MWR (morale, welfare and recreation) office said that we could follow their bus to Munich and the driver would ensure that we parked on the outside of town so we didn't have to deal with the city traffic. We borrowed a bus from the motor pool and then suprised the soldiers with the idea about the trip. They were so excited! I like it when a plan comes together and you can show soldiers that the military is more than just training and serious stuff. It's about teambuilding and taking advantage of the opportunities that just happen to pop up!

So it was up early the next morning, there were going to be 60 soldiers who would take the trip with us so had alot of preparation to get them prepared. Just like any military operation I wrote a safety briefing for them. You know, the don't talk to strangers part, don't look too american and don't drink beer! I spent an hour the night before hand writing my telephone number out 70 times so that everybody would have an emergency contact, just in case something would accidently go wrong. So it was time to load the bus and no kidding, the dang thing didn't start...It's so hard to look cool when 60 soldiers are looking at you, disappointment in their eyes, and disbelief that this could be happening to them. Instantly, my logistics team went into action. Somebody ran up to the main post and borrowed a set of jumper cables from a german security guard, while they were doing that some of the men were touching parts of the engine, while some just looked at the engine like it might magically start. Crap...I can't believe this is happening. So much for my good plan. Now mind you, we only had 15 minutes to get all these soldiers to the rendezvous location to meet the van we would be following.

Think Frenchy... I refused to let a little dead battery issue ruin a day the soldiers were looking forward to participating in. So I activated all the mini-vans to immediately report to the logistics headquarters and within three minutes I had six vans parked directly in front of me. Soldiers were jamming into the seats, into the back storage areas and within minutes we were loaded and on our way to the link up. Only five minutes late. As we drove into the parking lot a couple of us realized that our soldier to seat belt ratio was very off. Dang it, this is making me crazy. "Quick, somebody go get another van and hurry up and get back here." While we waited, the tour van was very patient, but I was having these funny nervous feelings I get when my perfectly laid out plan goes a little off. I paced and smoked and paced a little more until that other vehicle showed up. After loading all seven vehicles it was a miracle, we all fit and everybody had a seat beat!

Following that little red van was perfect for my mind. I got to relax during the 90 minute drive and took a few pictures of the country side. It seems a little weird to me, but most of the houses in germany are white with steep brown roofs. Every once in a while a yellow one would pop up, I assume they didn't get the memo that said that white was the proper color. Lots of farm land between Hoenfells and Munich. It was very peaceful and really was a terrific way to get a lay of the german land. It's a cross between Seattle and North Dakota for me. Lots of trees like the pacific northwest and acres and acres of fields just like Dakota. Every small town has a church with a steeple and seems to have some historic significance according to the signs on the side of the autobahn, too bad I can't read german.

Everything was going just perfect with the drive until one very significant moment. There I was taking pictures out the front window of the van and I suddenly realized we had just started driving into the city. "Oh my goodness, what in the world are we doing? We aren't supposed to be driving in the city" I blurted out in our vehicle. I know that red van driver said he would drop us off on the outskirts of town so we could ride the train into the city so we wouldn't have to deal with the traffic. Ugh...This could get ugly...

Sure enough, on the first right turn I was assigning tasks in the vehicle. My peace and quiet erupted into a controlled chaos environment. "Gunner, watch your targets and give me a vehicle count on every corner. Take an assistant with you. Driver, don't lose that red van at any cost. Middle seats, keep and eye on the terrain so we can do previous site recognition if needed." I barked out orders that sounded very military but really meant that the back seat had to keep a count on all six of the vans following us, the middle seat always try to know where we were and driver just drive while I write down the streets we turn on.

It got ugly real fast. At the second corner the gunners were reporting, "one, two, three, four, four, four, Ma'am that's all that's behind us." Oh no. We'd lost two vehicles already. Seven turns later we were down to just our vehicle and the one behind us. I kept looking at my phone like it should ring any time. I told them that if anything went bad to call. What are they waiting for. My patience was over, I called the fifth vehicle. "Why didn't you call me and tell me you guys were lost?" I needed to know where they were. Their reply. "Heck Ma'am, we didn't know we were lost, we are still following two vehicles in front of us, but we did lose the last vehicle in our convoy." Okay kids, don't worry we will all get back together, and then I gave them the last three turns they needed to take. My vehicle was not panicked, in fact there was quite a bit of humor when the gunner report would come forward and all they were counting was us. We would nervously laugh, but we just kept following that little red van.

Easily it had been 20 minutes driving around in circles, turning onto every side road, a left here, a right there and then going straight across intersections that had five inlets. The street names would change halfway down the block and finally I had to give up writing the route down, it got too confusing. If only I had a map...

I was a nervous wreck inside, here it was my first field trip out with soldiers in a foreign country, I'm the officer in charge and right now there is absolutely nobody following me. The phone isn't ringing. I'm getting a little worried, Munich is a big city, how in the world will I ever find everybody again. To top if off, there is a Medical Colonel in my vehicle. Thank goodness he was taking it all in stride. Honestly, he was probably thinking...Thank goodness I'm not the one in charge, this is gonna be ugly if she loses a soldier in Munich!

Then it was that magic corner. The little red van took a right, and dang if there wasn't a couple of vans parked on the side of the road. Yea! As we passed them, we waved for them to follow us and now we were back to three vans. A couple of minutes later we found another van and they lined up back behind us. The phone rang and it was the aviators. "Hey Ma'am, where are you guys? We've been parked for 15 minutes and can't see you guys anywhere. We are right outside the gates to the event." I took the phone away from my ear and just looked at it for a split second, no words came out but I was in shock that the aviators didn't have a clue that they were lost and I had left them behind a long time ago. Sometimes it's good to be clueless! "Don't move from that location, I will call you back when I get parked." I was so glad to hear from them!

The little red van pulled over to let their passengers out at a small little bus stop. I jumped out of my vehicle and ran up to the driver and was very urgent about my message. "What in the world are you doing? You were supposed to have stopped on the outside of the city and we were going to ride the bus. Yes, I know we are well past that point but I have lost half my vehicles. This driving madness needs to stop." That poor driver felt pretty bad and promised me that he would help us find parking spots. I climbed into his passenger seat and he realized at that point that I wasn't going anywhere. We were stuck together until my soldiers were okay.

Turn after turn, right..left..right..right..I was hanging out the window counting the vans. For a while I would have three, then two, then five. This van accountability issue was pushing my buttons. I was no longer having a easy relaxing trip to Munich. But as quick as the chaos had started, the entire tracking of vans came to a great ending. We rounded that final corner, and there they were. Parking spots! Hot dog! I was so excited I jumped out the moving red van and started to direct traffic right there on the streets of Munich. It was all about gathering my soldiers up. Got four of them parked, knew that the aviation van was stopped somewhere and so only one van missing. Then from around the corner came that sixth and final van. I was so happy I did the "happy to see the van" jig right there in the middle of the busy Munich street!

Finally, I found all the soldiers. Or should I say. The soldiers were so responsible that none of them gave up until they found me again. It's gonna be a great day now! Stay tuned...

Welcome to Munich...




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