Possibly the most famous landmark in Ireland

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When I was a kid, I read about Blarney Castle and its famous Blarney Stone in an "around the world" type book for children. All I really remembered was the phrase "full of Blarney" and a picture of a person being dangled by the ankles to kiss a stone on the side of a Castle. Even so, the prospect of visiting a place I had read about as a kid was very exciting.



If nothing else, the town of Blarney is fully aware of the number of tourists, especially American tourists, that it gets. Everything is overpriced and signposted, the student discounts are tiny and in order to leave the castle grounds, you have to walk through a gift shop. They also have a professional photographer at the top of the castle so they can sell you a picture of yourself kissing the Blarney stone.

...I may have given in to that one. Oh well.



The Blarney stone is just above the top window on the left side. It is on the inside of the outer layer. The legend is that anyone who kisses it will be given the gift of eloquence.

Yvonne pointed out to me that the locals know how famous this stone is, so not only have literally thousands of people kissed the stone before, but there is the distinct possibility that locals have gone up there at night to pee on it. In the interest of avoiding the imaginative range of possible diseases, I decided to go through the motions of kissing the Blarney stone without actually touching it.

I will not have the gift of eloquence. But, on the bright side, I will also not have the gift of mouth herpes.



This was the family room, which we passed through on the way to the top. Proabably a bit more ornate and homey, back in the day. You know, when there was a roof.



Instead of being hung by the ankles, nowadays you sit on a mat, hold onto metal bars, and an attendant keeps you from falling. Which was nice. The stone was much farther down than I expected it to be. It looked very smooth, which was not surprising given how many thousands of people have touched it with their lips over the years. This is not the professional photograph, by the way.

This is:



What must it be like to be the Blarney Stone attendant? He must have hilarious stories.



From the top of the castle, a view of the Irish countryside.



The family room, chapel and Blarney Stone from the other side. I should mention that the family room is not on the ground floor, but is at least two flights up. One of the reasons they have so many safety precautions with the Blarney Stone is that it's really high up. Which you don't think about until you're hanging upside down with a stranger holding onto you.

After the castle, we checked out the poison garden on the grounds.



Which Yvonne appears to have visited earlier in the day.



This just really amused me. Anyone who has read Harry Potter remembers the mandrakes, but what are American mandrakes like in that Universe? I imagine them louder and more argumentative. So many stereotypes, so little time...

Speaking of American stereotypes, we went into a little rock garden on the castle grounds, which was full of signposts marking sites of ancient Druid or fairy myths. At this point, it was great to have Yvonne with me, because apparently most of that was complete crap. There was actually a place where they told you if you walked down stairs backwards, with your eyes closed, you could make a wish.

The same sign said they claim no reponsibility if people are injured while attempting this.

The worst part was, an American couple was there actually doing it. They were directing each other and everything. The guy at the bottom was amused to hear Yvonne tear the legend to shreds, but we decided not to tell the girl who was attempting it. Yvonne thinks there's a camera somewhere, and they just like watching Americans make idiots of themselves.

To which I say: go on You Tube, search "Fox News" and you'll get plenty of that. Ahem. Anyway.



The witches' stone. In fairness, looks a bit like an old hag.



The druid's circle. Not a circle, but what are you going to do? How lucky are we to have so many ancient sites conveniently on the grounds of one of the most famous tourist attractions in the country? What an amazing coincidence.



Tomorrow: the Ring of Kerry, a road around a penninsula on the southwest part of Ireland, with some fantastic views, frighteningly narrow and windy stretches and one sign that may amuse and/or terrify the Conan Doyle fans reading this.

Which may just be me. But that's okay.

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