Adults Only

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August 21st 2016
Published: June 10th 2017
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Issy has been reading the blog. She asks me if I am going to write that I slept in. I remind her of author's prerogative. We sleep in. We go to reception to find out when we are going to be moved into our downgraded room. They tell us that it is ready now. It is only slightly smaller than the suite, and the only other noticeable difference is that it has a chair instead of a couch. It is however higher on the hill, and has a better balcony and view. Issy likes it. I think that I may have narrowly escaped divorce yet again. I ask Issy if she notices any differences between our downgraded room and the suite. She says that the toilet door opens outwards instead of inwards. I hope that this isn't going to be a big issue.

The whole hotel seems quite new and much posher than we're used to, and we're both feeling a bit uncomfortable in amongst people who look like they're all probably dripping with money. The hotel is built into the side of a steep hill overlooking a large bay. It is made up of a number of separate buildings, and we move up and down between them using lifts. There are four lifts in all; each lift serves four levels, so sixteen levels in all, and we need to walk through long windy corridors between some of the lifts. We are very proud of ourselves. It's not lunchtime yet, and we've only got lost in this labyrinth four times so far. The hotel has two pools for everyone to use, and we can see from our balcony that quite a few of the rooms have their own private pools. Even our suite didn't have one of these. I can understand honeymooners wanting these, but what about other people. I think that the other occupants might be the poshest of the posh who either can't be bothered walking a few metres to the communal pools, or would be horrified at the thought of having to share bathing water with commoners.

We go and park ourselves on the beach on sun lounges under an umbrella. It is very hot. The water is warmer than it was in Corsica, and the bottom is pure sand as it was in Corsica, with no rocks, shells or seaweed. It has a good slope on it so we don't need to go too far offshore before it gets deep.

The hotel is for adults only which we didn't realise until we got here. There is a section of beach reserved for hotel guests, and the beach is supposed to be private. There are some local children swimming with their parents in the water in front of the beach. I wonder if the water in front of the beach is private too. If so, I wonder how far offshore you need to be before it isn't private anymore. The local family group is making the sort of family noises that you would expect them to be making. Two older English couples lying near us are clearly finding this annoying. They are telling each other that they paid to come to an adults only resort, and it is outrageous that children are allowed within earshot. I wonder if they are finding the ripple of the waves and the sounds of the birds annoying as well. What about the gentle breeze wafting through the beach umbrellas. That must be driving them crazy. I think about offering them ear plugs.

We will be picking up a hire car tomorrow, and we will have this for the rest of our time in Rhodes. Issy tells me that she doesn't think that we should drive here. She also told me this on the way to the hotel from the airport last night very shortly after our lunatic taxi driver swerved into the gravel to avoid a head on collision with a bus. I think Issy is very nervous about us driving. I think I'm a bit nervous too. It seemed last night that our taxi driver wasn't the only lunatic on the road here. Double lines and speed limit signs appear to be a waste of space. I think I can feel a sleepless night coming up.

We spend the whole afternoon lying on the beach and going for the occasional dip. We are very relaxed. We talk about serious subjects, such as how mermaids might go about reproducing.

We decide that we will have dinner at the hotel restaurant. The hotel says that it doesn't have a strict dress code, but then adds that it would prefer that 'gentlemen' wore long trousers at dinner. I put on the only pair of long pants that I have with me. This is the first time I have put them on since we left home. We struggle to find the restaurant. We go up and down most of the lifts several times. The hotel directory isn't much help. It says that the restaurant is next to one of the pools, but that's not all that useful if you can't find the pool. I think that the hotel directory needs a map. We get in a lift with a German couple who can't find the restaurant either, so we try to track it down together. The restaurant has a set menu which is a strange combination of buffet and a la carte. We are told to order one of three main courses from the menu, but then find all sorts of other main courses on the buffet. We pig out. Correction. I pig out. Issy says she that didn't pig out. She also says that she probably shouldn't have had her second dessert.


23rd August 2016

Lovely, you'll have to grab one of those day beds on the beach before you leave.

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