Indecent Bottle Openers


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Europe » Greece » South Aegean » Rhodes » Archangelos
August 25th 2016
Published: June 11th 2017
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We set off for the village of Kolympia to explore the large hotel complex and water park that we saw in the distance from the Tsambika Monastery yesterday morning.

We pass a sign to a beach with a very Russian sounding name. I'm sure this same beach had a more Greek sounding name when we passed it yesterday. I tell Issy that we should be prepared for Lindos to have been renamed to Lindosgrad by the time we get back there this afternoon.

The hotel complex doesn't look quite so significant from the ground, and is really several different smaller hotel complexes. Even the water park looks quite small. We drive along the road behind the beach past the customary forest of beach umbrellas and sun lounges. We reach a dead end, so we turn around and drive back the other way. I see a car driving straight towards us. We panic. We wonder what it's doing on the wrong side of the road. We then realise that it's actually us who are on the wrong side of the road. We pull out of its way just in time. I think I need to concentrate a bit harder.

I tell Issy that we need to buy an Ethernet cable because it's still taking two hours to upload each of my photos using the wifi. I've been telling her since we left the hotel this morning to keep an eye out for Ethernet cable shops, but I'm not entirely sure she knows the Greek words for "Ethernet cable". The Kolympia supermarket has lots of cables for portable devices, but no Ethernet cables. It also has a very large array of bottle openers on sale, all with carvings of penises as handles. Some of them are quite large. Issy says that we should buy one for her sister. I don't know why. I'm pretty sure her sister already has a bottle opener. Half metre high penis carvings with girls draped around their bases are also on sale. The supermarket advertised itself as having things that a tourist might need. I wonder why a tourist would need a penis shaped bottle opener more than an Ethernet cable. Surely any shaped bottle opener would do the job. I'd be happy with any functional Ethernet cable, with or without carved appendages.

We see a poster advertising a "traffic light" party. It seems that you're supposed to wear red to the party if you're "taken", amber if you're "undecided" and green if you're "single". I wonder if you're supposed to change clothes midway through the party if you find someone you like. I wonder if people take changes of clothes to the party. I hope no one who came to the party wearing red would leave wearing amber, or worse still green.

We see a shop that advertises itself as having "everything you need". I need an Ethernet cable, therefore it must have one of these. It doesn't. I'm very disappointed. The shopkeeper doesn't seem too interested in my arguments about the accuracy of his advertising. Issy says that I need to stop being so literal.

We decide to explore the area further along the bay that we can see from our hotel balcony. Vlycha Beach in the middle of the bay is very pebbly and very different to our fine sandy beach only a hundred or so metres away. We stop for lunch at the hotel behind the beach. I order an "original lemonade". The waiter asks me if I want sugar syrup with it. I politely decline. I'm not sure why anyone would want to make lemonade any sweeter than it already is. I take a sip. My face contorts. It's like sucking on a treeful of sour lemons. Issy thinks that this is very funny. I unlock my face for just long enough to tell the waiter that I've changed my mind about the sugar syrup.

We drive back to the hotel and have a siesta. We've missed the siestas we used to have when we were in Spain. I wonder why they don't have siestas in Greece.

We again catch a taxi into Lindos for dinner. Issy says we haven't had enough exercise today so we need to wander around first. We stumble across the remains of a Roman theatre dating back to the second century BC. It's a shame we weren't able to see this in the daylight. We eat on another rooftop terrace with a good view of the Acropolis. The food is excellent and the waiters are very friendly; they insist on shaking hands with everyone as they leave.

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