Indecent Bottle Openers

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August 25th 2016
Published: June 11th 2017
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We decide that this morning we will drive to Kolympia which is the small village that we looked down on from the Tsambika Monastery when we were there yesterday motoring. We want to explore the large hotel complex and the water park that we saw from the Monastery.

We pass a sign to a beach with a very Russian sounding name. I'm sure this same beach had a more Greek sounding name when we passed it yesterday. I tell Issy that we should be prepared for Lindos to have been renamed to Lindosgrad by the time we get back there this afternoon.

The hotel complex doesn't look quite so significant from the ground. It is really several different smaller hotel complexes. Even the water park looks quite small. The whole place looked to be wall to wall swimming pools when we looked down on it yesterday, but these are now much less obvious. We drive along the road behind the beach and see the usual forest of beach umbrellas and sun lounges. The road comes to a dead end so we turn around and drive back the other way. I see a car driving straight towards us. I wonder what it is doing on the wrong side of the road. Issy wonders too. I then realise that it is actually us who are on the wrong side of the road. We pull out of its way just in time. I think I need to concentrate a bit harder.

We stop in the village to have a look around. Most of the people here seem to be Russian as well. I tell Issy that we need to buy an Ethernet cable because it is still taking two hours to upload each of my photos using the wifi. I've been telling Issy since we left the hotel this morning to keep an eye out for Ethernet cable shops. I don't think she knows the Greek words for Ethernet cable. We go into a supermarket. It has lots of cables for portable devices, but no Ethernet cables. It has a very large array of bottle openers for sale and they all have carvings of penises as handles. Some of them are quite large. Issy says that we should buy one for her sister. I don't know why. I'm pretty sure her sister already has a bottle opener. The supermarket also sells carvings of penises about 60 centimetres high with girls draped around their bases. The supermarket advertised itself as having things that a tourist might need. I wonder why a tourist would need a penis shaped bottle opener more than an Ethernet cable. Surely any shaped bottle opener would do the job. I'd be happy with any functional Ethernet cable, with or without carved appendages. Issy buys some clothes.

We walk on to look at some more shops. We see a poster advertising a 'traffic light' party. It seems that you are supposed to wear red to the party if you are 'taken', amber if you are 'undecided' and green if you are 'single'. I wonder if you're supposed to change clothes midway through the party if you find someone you like. I wonder if people take changes of clothes to the party. I hope no one who came to the party wearing red would leave wearing amber, or worse still green.

We see a shop that advertises itself as having 'everything you need'. I need an Ethernet cable, so the shop must therefore have one of these. It doesn't. I am very disappointed. The shopkeeper doesn't seem too interested in my arguments about the accuracy of his advertising. Issy says that I need to stop being so literal. We browse some more shops, but none of them sell Ethernet cables.

We drive along the main road back towards our hotel. We decide we should explore the area further along the bay that we can see from our balcony. The beach in the middle of the bay is very pebbly and very different to our very sandy beach which is only about a hundred metres away. We stop for lunch at the hotel behind the pebbly beach. We order drinks. I order an 'original lemonade'. The waiter asks me if I want sugar syrup with it. I politely decline. I'm not sure why anyone would want to make lemonade any sweeter than it already is. I take a sip. My face contorts. It's like sucking on a very sour lemon. Issy thinks that this is very funny. I unlock my face for just long enough to tell the waiter that I've changed my mind about the sugar syrup.

We drive back to the hotel and have a siesta. We've missed the siestas we used to have when we were in Spain. I wonder why they don't have siestas in Greece.

We again catch a taxi into Lindos for dinner. Issy says we haven't had enough exercise today so we need to wander around first. We stumble across the remains of a Roman theatre dating back to the second century BC. It's a shame we weren't able to see this in the daylight. We eat on another rooftop terrace with a good view of the Acropolis. The food is excellent and the waiters are very friendly; they insist on shaking hands with everyone as they leave.


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