Day 45 in Magdeburg: I refuse to believe my trip is half-way over...

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Alles klar, I'm finally back. Just a few interesting, day-to-day revalations to report, so I won't divide up the entry in any specific way.

I must say, I'm in disbelief as to how misguided most people (Americans, that is) are about what "speaking a language" actually entails. Although my German will be quite good when I leave, I can't help but feel like a phony when I say: "I speak German." At this point, I can hold a conversation about any topic and understand what the native German is saying almost fluently, but I can't get over the feeling of not having a personality in my 2nd language.

For example, depending on the day, lunch at the cafeteria is either my favorite or least favorite party of the day. Don't get me wrong; the party is more accomodating and understanding than I ever imagined. But, I often feel like the weird, American intern who doesn't say much, mainly because, either I can't come up with a response fast enough, or don't understand the topic of conversation, i.e. a past piece of legislation. The two youngest girls speak English very well, so I'm sure they understand what I'm going through. Still, I battle with myself on "those" days, in that I feel like I'm not using my experience to its fullest when I don't say much at lunch. Like I said, I feel like I haven't developed a personality in my 2nd language.

Ach so, my Director told me that the second half of my internship, which started on Monday (since the summer "holiday" started then), will be focused on consulting representatives, organizations, etc. for my project. I'm relieved, because while my German is already much better, I feel like it should be even better. I take solace in knowing that my Director realizes the bulk of my internship thus far has been sitting in on meetings and listening. In retrospect, the listening was helpful, in that I can follow German at any pace, on any topic. But, I have trouble speaking German in a non-choppy way.

On a different note, Martin (the roommate who's always around) and I have "bonded," I guess you could say. A few Fridays ago, he asked if I planned on going to any parties with my colleagues from the Landtag that night, and I told him straight-up that only one person my age (below the age of 30, at least) works for the Landtag. While I'm "friends" with her, she's married and doesn't seem to be interested in hanging out, aside from our morning coffee sessions. The other people I've been hanging out with are studying for final exams, so I don't see them very often. Since then, Martin and I have been hanging out a lot.

He's an interesting little fellow. He owns a garden outside of Magdeburg, which he stays at a couple of days per week. To me, he symbolizes the "typical" East German. He's an unemployed, depressed, single male. While we complain about a 10% unemployment rate in the U.S., unemployment in Sachsen-Anhalt hovers around 20%. He told me this evening that he's been on depression medications for a while now, which is also very typical. And, last but certainly not least, 75% of those leaving East Germany since the end of communism have been women. In some ways, I feel like I've experienced this phenomenon first-hand; finding an apartment with even one girl was next to impossible.

We've started eating dinner together and having a cup of coffee every night, and I've gotten to know him quite well. When I first moved in, I immediately thought he was a little strange, but tried to ignore it, in the hope that I was just unfamiliar with the German "way of life." But, he told me tonight that he only has 3 friends. That could be for any number of reasons, but I do feel like there's something about him I don't know yet. He's a strange, strange man, but at the very least, I'm never bored.

Beyond language and personal stuff, I've started working on my Fulbright application full-force. I've identified a topic, an advisor and a host institution. Whenever I decide to apply for something, including the scholarship I'm on now, I feel very, very confident. As time progresses, though, I start to doubt everything about my application and merit, which I'm starting to do as I work on the Fulbright application. The funny thing is, I'm usually wrong. And thus, the Fulbright-ing continues.

Oh, how could I forget? Last weekend, I went to "Thale," which is a small city-town nestled in the Harz mountains. When I say I loved everything about it, I mean absolutely everything! The views were breath-taking, and I enjoyed being in a place where Germans vacation themselves. Cities like Berlin, Munich, Frankfurt, etc. are popular for a reason, but my favorite part of traveling is discovering what the locals consider beautiful and relaxing. Although it was raining the entire time, and I forgot my umbrella, I thoroughly enjoyed my day in Thale. In fact, I think the rain was fitting, given the "mythological" (perhaps misty?) theme of the location.

Last but certainly not least, this weekend, I'm going to Prague! For a while, I decided against going, mainly because the tickets I found were too expensive. Turns out, I was searching the wrong sites completely, and I found an awesome deal. The city is only 5 hours away from Magdeburg, and I've always wanted to see it, so why not? My theory is, $100 from Magdeburg is nothing compared to the $1000 I'd have to pay from the U.S. So, I'm trying to see and do as much as possible while I'm on the continent. Speaking of which, Kevin and I are going to book our tickets to Paris and Nuremburg in a few days! Words cannot possibly describe how excited I am to see him!

Well, I think that's it for this entry. Bis dann!
Christine

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